Thursday, December 31, 2015

Thursday

So all the weight I appeared to have lost earlier in the week? Gone. 158.8 today, for crying out loud. On an effing Fat Fast! I have legitimate water bags under my eyes right now, I felt so rotten last night that I couldn't do my exercises, and it was apparently for naught.

Well, shit.

Here's yesterday:
  • tea with cream
  • the usual supplements
  • the egg souffle thingie
  • 2 portions of butter roasted pecans
  • a cup of chicken bouillon
  • broccoli-cheese soup
  • 2 pieces of cheese
  • about 7 cashews
And no, I don't think the cashews were what gained me a pound. Sorry.

I have been hungry for 3 straight days. I have exercised extreme self-discipline for that time, and avoided even considering eating the chocolates in the kitchen at the office (that I brought in on Monday to get rid of at home). I didn't even go for the third bag of pecans. And in that process, I gained weight. Nobody can tell me that's physics. That's hormones. So annoying.

I am absolutely in ketosis - at least, I'm peeing Moderate ketones. And that's quite something, really; I rarely see the stick that dark. Had a couple of leg cramps last night, too - despite the added salt from the chicken bouillon. Oh, and given that the salt is supposed to help me feel warmer, I found it super ironic that I was freezing all night.

Some days, nothing goes right, I guess. That sums up yesterday.

Wednesday, December 30, 2015

Wednesday

Yesterday was a rather aggravating day at work - lots of drama with stuff my team supports, unfortunately. So I was in a fairly crabby mood on the way home. But - and this is fabulous - I stuck to my fast. Had my broccoli soup, spent the evening working on putting Christmas stuff away around the house - we are doing it early this year because we don't have the luxury of time on weekends in January to do it slowly - and didn't snack. I did my stretches. I did have cheese again - I think I may have been skimping on the cream in my tea in the morning and was not getting the full 200 calories worth, so again, I was hungry after the soup. I also had some chicken bouillon - but without the protein this time.

I have been testing for ketones with keto stix this week, just to see if it was detectable. Not the first night, but I did have some last night. The keto stix are expired, but I figure a change in color of any sort is probably reliable enough for me.

With all that, 157.4 this morning. Just bother. Probably my gut; since Saturday, it's been extremely quiet.

Here's yesterday:
  • tea with cream
  • the usual supplements
  • the ham and cheese egg thing
  • 2 portions of butter-roasted pecans
  • broccoli cheese soup
  • 2 pieces of cheddar
  • one pork rind
  • a cup of chicken bouillon
That was it. Same today, I expect.

Tonight is an exercise night for my back and shoulders. Now that I'm paying attention to them, I notice that my right shoulder clicks a lot more - indicative of loose support, I believe. It isn't hurting, though - and it was about a week ago, so that's already an improvement. The back stretches, and one bout of the exercises, do seem to have loosened up my hips a bit, too. Definitely worth continuing.

I'm also seeing some habit-improvements from the new Vivofit - I do things during the day to get up and move more, because I don't like the red band. So I had more steps yesterday than the day before, which is good.

One interesting thing last night. I was tired and cranky when I got home, but noticed that I had quite a bit of energy to start putting stuff away with. One of those great ketosis side effects.

So today is the last official fat-fast day. I think I have one more egg thing for breakfast tomorrow, and see no reason not to just eat butter pecans during the day, so I guess it will continue until dinner tomorrow, when Lee has some steaks wrapped in bacon for us. But then what? I'm thinking continuing on very low carb, trying not to get back into my "oh, a few chips won't hurt" routine, keeping the nuts low and portioned, staying in ketosis. And using the energy it gives me to get things done around the house at night - we will need that to get through the next month, that's for sure!

Tuesday, December 29, 2015

Tuesday

I think yesterday went pretty well. I managed to stay within the fat fast guidelines until after dinner, when I had to have 2 pieces of cheese to allay actual hunger - and I know that with this way of eating, it's okay to eat when actually hungry. But other than that, I did not snack. 156.8 this morning; here's yesterday:
  • tea with cream
  • egg, ham, and cheese cup thingie (from the fat fast cookbook)
  • total of 1/2 cup butter-roasted pecans
  • a serving of broccoli cheese soup
  • 2 pieces of cheese
  • a cup of chicken bouillon with gelatin
The chicken bouillon is an effort to increase my salt intake, because I read recently that salt may be helpful in reducing my cold sensitivity. I would love that, especially since our office at work is very cold, and since I've been somewhat freezing for the past year or so (in between hot flashes - no middle ground!). We shall see how that works.

Today's eating should look a lot like the list above. Although, if Lee opts for a steak for dinner, I'll make mushrooms with boursin cheese for my dinner, and split them with him. 

I sort of figured that my being in the 157-ish area was an aftereffect of my being ill on Saturday, and that it wouldn't stick around. If this fat fast makes it stick, I'll be quite happy. If it can get me lower than that, and into decent levels of nutritional ketosis through the end of January, I'll be even happier, even if I need to be super careful about drinking during Mardi Gras. I know my lack of estrogen is likely to make it harder to free up the stored fat, but post-menopausal women do lose weight without having life-threatening diseases, so it must be possible. Right?

Got in a marginally okay number of steps yesterday - what I did find is that the little chirp the new wearable makes when I sit for too long is making me get up and at least go to the restroom, to get rid of the red bar. I think that is a good thing. And last night, it had me walking up and down stairs a bunch (trailed by Charlie), which amused Lee no end. Also gave my thighs a good workout - they're a bit sore this morning.

Did my shoulder and back exercises again last night. I'm sore there as well, which means they're doing something. Stretching tonight only. I do hope this stuff works, because my shoulders have been obnoxious for about 4 years now, and I'm sick of it.

Three-day weekend coming up. If the weather is good, we'll try that whole walking thing again. No progress on the treadmill yet - that may be a post-Mardi Gras thing.

Monday, December 28, 2015

Monday

Day 1 of my fat fast. I've had probably 300 calories worth of food today - an egg/ham/cheese souffle thingie, and tea with cream. I have bags of butter-roasted pecans (with a bit of taco seasoning) for throughout the day, with the intention of having broccoli-cheese soup for dinner.

I can do a three-day thing. I've tried the Whole 30 twice that I can remember, and failed both times. They say that it's not hard, and they're right, of course. But I have not been able to do it.

So, anyway. I was sick overnight Friday-Saturday, and lost 4 pounds in the process. Gained much of it back yesterday, but it's gone again today. I hope it was at least a bit real. Or that doing the fat fast will make it real. 157.0 today.

Here's yesterday:
  • tea with cream
  • machaca (eggs, shredded beef, peppers, cheese)
  • a couple of pieces of cheese
  • 2 or 3 chocolates (bidding farewell to them for the foreseeable future, now that the holidays are done)
  • 3 almond-flour butter cookies
  • pot roast with roast carrots
  • mashed cheesy cauliflower
I think that was it. I was being cautious after the previous day, and wasn't super hungry anyway.

So my plan for the 4-day weekend was to walk every day outside. I managed once - on Christmas day itself. I really don't remember what stopped us on Thursday, and Saturday, I was basically hard down all day, although we did run some errands once I thought it was safe to leave the house. Sunday, we had weather all day - it rained a bunch, mostly. The plan to acquire a treadmill gains strength, because otherwise, I just don't have the option to walk.

One of our Saturday errands was to buy dumbbells. I am starting to work on fixing what ails my shoulders - mostly the right one but they're both wobbly. I found a routine created by a physical therapist that is short and sweet and very targeted for that, and another one for the lower back (which doesn't require dumbbells). Started the shoulder thing on Saturday, and will be doing it for the next 6 weeks (that's the plan, although I need to be more detailed about exactly how I will carry it out).

I have a new wearable tracker - a Garmin Vivofit. Got it for Christmas, and Lee says he bought it BEFORE Charlie ate the NikePlus. So far, I miss the colorful goal celebrations, and I really liked the overall design of the Nike better, but this thing is way better about step counts, and does what looks like real sleep tracking. Which is awesome. Also it has replaceable batteries that last a year or more. So I think it will be overall much more useful than the Nike one. That said, I've sucked at getting anywhere near the goals it's setting (it responds to your actual activity by trying to push you to improve on yesterday's effort, and I was a slug much of the weekend). I don't think I'll go into march-in-place mode like I did in my early days with the Nike one, but I will try to take the stairs more, things like that. And, if we can get the treadmill going, that will help a lot.


Wednesday, December 23, 2015

Wednesday

Still 159.6 this morning. I guess that's good, although I sort of thought it would be less.

My stomach was rather unhappy yesterday. Probably recuperating from the weekend's excesses. I'm not sure I'm fully over them, but I feel better than I did at dinner time last night.

Here's yesterday:
  • tea with cream
  • strawberries
  • bacon
  • the usual supplements
  • an apple
  • 4 pieces of cheese
  • a bag of trail mix that was mostly raisins
  • a large bowl of hot and sour soup
  • 1 Lindt truffle - white chocolate
  • another piece of cheese
Not ideal; could have been worse. No apple today. We have one Granny Smith left, and I'll use it for cooking - they're actually tough, and not fun to eat. No trail mix, either. Blecch. If I need more than 4 pieces of cheese, I'll finish the stupid almonds.

Achy this morning, although I generally slept well. Woke around 4:30 - that seems to be a thing. No leg cramps. I expect I'll have them next week with the fat fast - not sure if there's much I can do to avoid them, truly. Nothing I've tried to date has worked.

We cannot find the dumbbells that I owned before we moved. So we will be shopping for another set in the next few days - maybe tomorrow, since I'm off work. Oh - I should get some walking in this weekend - 4 days' worth. Good idea!

Tuesday, December 22, 2015

Tuesday

I'm happy to say I was at 159.6 this morning; apparently, much of yesterday was water. Did not think it was. I'm still planning on the fat fast - have identified some specific stuff to eat for the 3-5 days' worth of it, and think I've figured out how to get Lee fed more or less properly while I'm doing it. Starting next week - Sunday or Monday, depending on how much prep I get done when.

Here's yesterday:
  • tea with cream
  • scrambled eggs
  • bacon (I think; might have been sausage)
  • a Macintosh apple
  • 4 pieces of cheddar
  • almonds
  • a handful of Cashew coconut toffee
That was it. Stressful evening, and even with Benadryl, it took me over an hour to get to sleep. So be it. I'm feeling fairly okay this morning - didn't wake up until around 4:20, although I had 2 leg cramps.

Tonight, assuming I get home at a reasonable time (the stress last night was from working late, but that was a planned thing), I'm going hunting for my dumbbells. And starting to work on the exercises for my shoulder. My hip is also feeling better so far; I hope it will continue.

Ham for dinner, I think. With green beans. What we bought to eat on Sunday but weren't ultimately hungry for once we got home. I also have fresh salad dressing, and we should have a salad. If we could just discipline ourselves into doing that nightly, we'd both lose weight and feel better. But it's really hard at the end of the day to muster the psychic energy to do much of anything. Now that we're through the pre-Christmas travel burst, and have 2 weekends at home to look forward to, I think I'll do some crock-pottery and prep-cooking, and get food frozen so we can eat conveniently.

Monday, December 21, 2015

Monday

Spent the weekend in New Orleans. Need I say more? 161.0 this morning. Not surprised. Not thrilled, for sure.

I ordered fish for my lunch on Saturday. It was delicious. It was also breaded. Dessert was bread pudding. I ate it. I've kind of made up my mind that I need to put aside my personal preferences to avoid wheat when at a social occasion, unless it's generally easy to eat properly. So at the evening party on Saturday, I avoided wheat except in gravy and the one Mexican Wedding Cake I ate. But only one.

I told Lee that I'm planning a 3-day fat fast. Since we were gone this past weekend, I didn't start it today, though. I'm thinking next week, or this coming weekend. We will be home, and it should be fairly easy. I bought a big bag of frozen broccoli and some cream cheese, and will make broccoli soup, and I'm thinking I will do butter-roasted pecans and cheese as snacks. Relatively easy, all of it.

Sleep over the weekend was okay; we got in quite late on Friday and the hotel was a bit noisy (a little surprising, since it's in the very quiet end of the quarter). I'm also fighting some mild sciatica, and have tweaked my right shoulder - the sciatica is on the left side. It would be. The combination of those has made sleeping sketchy, because I can only stand to be on either side for a short time before I have pain. However, I bought a book that arrived over the weekend, about fixing the shoulder issues and keeping them from coming back, and read it quickly last night. Simple exercises, and he's reduced the routine to the smallest effective amount of work, which is perfect for me. We are thinking of using our "study" in the bedroom as an exercise area - getting a treadmill since I am not home during daylight for a good chunk of the year and can't go outside and walk. The shoulder exercises can fit nicely in that scheme.

Back to the routine this morning; eggs-and-bacon for breakfast, and I have an apple and cheese with me for lunch/dinner. Working long today, to get a new release into production. But a short week - and that's something to look forward to - we're off both Thursday and Friday.

Friday, December 18, 2015

A bit more Friday

I think I will start a proper fat fast next week - for 3 or 4 days. Heavy cream for breakfast, butter-toasted pecans, broccoli cheese soup for lunch and dinner. Maybe some meat. But really emphasize the fat for a few, and keep the overall volume of food as low as I can manage. Break for Christmas brunch, and then resume a VLC/keto eating approach for the month of January.

Also buy new Spanx. Because my ballgown is clingy.

Friday

Ate better during the day. Ate worse at dinner. Mexican. With a margarita. 160.2 this morning.

I need to get things under control, and right now, they're not.

Thursday, December 17, 2015

Thursday

I took an apple and cheese to work yesterday to have when I got hungry instead of candy and instead of almonds. And it mostly worked. I still had almonds - for some reason, I'm getting super hungry mid-day right now - but was able to ignore the candy. So I did it again today.

After work, I had no chocolate. I would regard that as a triumph, except that I had cookies instead. Really good cookies - shortbread thumbprints with lemon curd. I made all of it. Lemon curd turns out to be super easy to make, and I had/have a LOT of lemon juice in the house just now, after making the limoncello on Tuesday. I will probably freeze both the rest of the juice and the lemon curd, which is apparently possible. 

159.8 this morning. So the candy was worse than the cookies, I guess. Here's yesterday:
  • tea with cream
  • the usual supplements
  • scrambled eggs
  • sausage patties
  • an apple
  • 2 pieces of cheddar
  • almonds (no idea how many)
  • 2 burger patties with green salsa
  • a salad with vinaigrette
  • about 6 cookies and some lemon curd eaten from spoons
  • 3 slices of Swiss cheese
The limoncello is starting to turn yellow already, and I read up on it some more yesterday, so I know what to watch for to tell if it's done steeping. Also how much simple syrup to add to make sure it's not super-alcoholic. Kind of fun making new things from the plants in our yard. And I have more lemons on the tree, and oranges starting to turn orange, so we'll have those all spring, I guess.

I brought 2 more of the cookies with me for "lunch" today. The only change I'd make is to cook them a bit longer - they didn't really crisp up, and are super fragile.

Wednesday, December 16, 2015

Wednesday

I brought an apple and cheese with me, to help keep me out of the candy at work - I hope! I brought some stuff from home for the team to eat, and they're slow at it. Cashew-coconut toffee has been my downfall. I think I hit it twice yesterday - and the plan yesterday was to fast. Not so much.

160.4 this morning. I need to get myself under control now. Here's yesterday:
  • tea with cream
  • the usual supplements
  • scrambled eggs
  • bacon
  • cashew-coconut toffee (two small handfuls)
  • almonds
  • Fet-zucchini alfredo (just what it sounds like)
  • potato chips
  • about 3 chocolates
Once I got home, it wasn't so bad - I spent much of the evening making limoncello (at least, I hope that's what it will turn out to be. Zested 12 lemons and added vodka - that sits for a month, then I add some simple syrup and let it sit some more. In order not to waste the lemons, I think I'm making lemon curd thumbprint cookies tonight - I juiced them all after zesting.

I'll be working on more lemon-centric cookery; that didn't even dent the tree, I think. Although it was dark when I was out picking them...

Hit the Benadryl last night - which helped. The dogs were fussy around midnight, apparently, and the only thing I noticed was that I had to shift Charlie around so I had enough covers. Around 2, we had a golly-whomping thunderstorm, but that only sort of woke me. I feel much more rested than last night. Tonight will be Lee's turn if he wants it, since he dealt with the dogs' issues.

I've ordered a couple of books on fixing some of our aches and pains - highly rated and by a physical therapist, and I will try them. Also a TENS unit, which I'd never heard of before, but which is supposed to help with pain. Worth a shot, especially at $26.

Tuesday, December 15, 2015

Tuesday

We got our flu shots last night - for some reason, this past weekend's fiasco led me to believe that we must guard against the influenza cratering Mardi Gras week, so I got feisty about it. 

My arm hurts. I slept like shit. I'm all downhearted this morning. At least one of those is related to the flu shot. I'm betting all of them are.

159.4, which is also depressing. Here's yesterday:
  • tea with cream
  • the usual supplements with an extra bolus of D
  • scrambled eggs
  • sausage patties
  • almonds
  • a 6 oz sirloin
  • 2 helpings of green beans (BFF steakhouse)
  • random bits of chocolate - maybe 5 pieces
  • a handful of cashews
  • a small glass of eggnog
It's obviously the candy. I need to stop eating the effing candy. I need more fat in the mornings as well. So I stop with the almonds, because they're becoming a constant stream throughout the day.

If Lee was serious yesterday, dinner tonight will be hot dogs and what I'm calling "fetzucchini alfredo" (for me, anyway - he won't eat zoodles). Not sure that's the greatest combo on the planet, but I don't want to waste the zucchini, so that will be part of the deal regardless.

We need to remember we have brats in the freezer, and acquire some normal sauerkraut. I was initially thrilled that HEB makes their own naturally fermented kraut, but they don't make plain - it all has other stuff in it. Anyway, we should have some of that for dinner this week.

Monday, December 14, 2015

Monday

I'm really not sure how to tell this story.

We were supposed to spend this past weekend in Florida with friends. We had a pet-sitter arranged, and I noted here that I was stressing about it, that I was sure something was going to happen, that he wouldn't make it to the house. 

Something did happen. He made it to the house, and Charlie, our youngest dog, decided that he wasn't welcome there. Became uber-territorial. He thought he could make it work, long enough for me to get on the plane to Tampa. Sometime while I was in the air, he decided he couldn't, called Lee, and left the house. 

With the dogs roaming free. Alone at night - something they've never had happen at home.

I landed, heard the update, and rescheduled my Sunday evening flight for Saturday morning. Got maybe an hour of sleep (there were 3 available, I couldn't relax), and came back.

We lucked out. No destruction, no injury, although they all slept most of Saturday, out of relief, I think. A friend was able to come over on Saturday before I got back to give Anneke her meds.

We are working on alternative plans for our trips next month, obviously. And I'm super grateful that Charlie didn't bite him (not at all sure that he wouldn't have done so, given the chance, though).

I was 158.2 yesterday morning; 159.2 this morning. No idea what I ate yesterday, truly.

Slept Saturday night with Benadryl, and woke up with a migraine and loads of energy yesterday - not a great combo, really. But I got all of the presents wrapped, and when Lee got back (he dropped me at the airport and headed west shortly after), we got everything boxed up to mail. So that's done. He's taking them off this morning.

From the Facebook posts, it looks like we missed a fun weekend. There will be others. And the dogs will be at a kennel somewhere. At the vets this coming weekend, but hopefully somewhere a bit nicer after that. If we can find a place that deals with the insulin stuff.

Friday, December 11, 2015

Friday

Wide week. Short, but packed. Sleep last night might have been good, but for the fact that I was too tired to insist that the dogs kennel for bed, and ended up with 2 of them on the bed with me. They allowed me about 18" of mattress to sleep on. 

I've got a new interrupted-sleep pattern going right now. I wake up at about 1:30-2 am, need the radio to fall asleep again, and wake as soon as it goes off (generally 2 hours later). Depending on circumstances, I may be up for the day at that point. I think that was the case this morning. Not that I was let sleep, even if I'd been able to - they all wanted out of the house at 5 am, and breakfast at 5:40 am. So, since my flight to Tampa gets in at 11 something (Florida time), it's going to be a long damn day.

158.8 this morning. Here's yesterday:
  • tea with cream
  • swiss cheese (3 slices)
  • almonds (lots)
  • 2 pieces of cashew toffee
  • a cup of hot chocolate
  • a lot of English cheddar cheese
  • an apple
  • some sort of chocolate, but I can't recall what it was - or maybe not
I was super tired last night - was in bed at 8. Not asleep until 9:30 when I noticed that I hadn't been reading for a while. I think I also had a leg cramp at some point.

Feeling less stressed, I think. I should have wrapped presents last night, but just couldn't. So it will have to be Monday, I guess - but by then, the weekend stress won't be a factor.

Thursday, December 10, 2015

Thursday

Oh, jeez. I was really hoping to sleep well last night, and I guess I did. Until about 2:30 am. Woke then, couldn't get back to sleep until around 4. Slept from then until 5:45. Up, feed the dogs, grab some tea and cheese, head to work. 

Completely strung out with stress right now. Upcoming travel, new dog sitter, handling all of it alone right now because only I am able to get on a plane and Lee left yesterday. The dogs, thank goodness, were really good last night and this morning - they all went nicely to their kennels, despite being kenneled all day yesterday. I can't leave them out by themselves; Anneke and Roscoe would be fine, but Charlie is still eating things he shouldn't. Last night it was a wooden Christmas ornament  off the tree. In any event, I'm not beaten up with guilt about kenneling them; that's Lee's thing. And if he utters a word of complaint about my doing it, I'll bite him.

I won't go into details of the other causes of stress right now; suffice it to say that there are some. New ones from late yesterday - and they're what had me up this morning.

158.2 today; here's yesterday:
  • tea with cream
  • the usual supplements
  • scrambled eggs
  • sausage patties
  • almonds
  • about 3 pieces of some "cashew crunch" candy - no flour, but definitely not Paleo
  • 2 pieces of cheddar cheese
  • a small quantity of potato chips
  • a few chocolate covered raisins
  • some tortilla chips (about 4)
  • a Lindt truffle - milk chocolate, I think
From the cheddar down was what passed for dinner. I got home, got the dogs fed, and spent the evening tidying the house and wrapping presents. Nowhere near done - I may do some tonight, although tonight will be all about getting things ready for the pet sitter. 

Actually, I probably have to do some tonight - all of it that I can get done, as a matter of fact. We have to be able to ship things early next week - oh, and guess what? Early next week means me doing it. Somehow. I have no effing idea how we're going to get this accomplished. Guess the stress isn't likely to let up soon. Dammit.

Wednesday, December 9, 2015

Wednesday

159.6 this morning. Here's yesterday:
  • tea with cream
  • the usual supplements
  • scrambled eggs
  • sausage patties
  • almonds
  • salad with some sort of sweet vinaigrette
  • a chicken breast (it was chicken parmesan; I de-crusted it)
  • leftover potroast with potatoes, carrots, and green beans
  • 3 pieces of cheddar
  • a few cashews
  • lots of chocolate things (raisins, Nuggets, almonds)
That was it. I'm pretty stressed about the trip this weekend and leaving the dogs, and it's showing up in my evening eating. Slept less awful last night, but this morning's commute was fairly wretched, so I'm working to get calmed down for the day.

Tuesday, December 8, 2015

Tuesday

159.8; here's yesterday:
  • tea with cream
  • the usual supplements (which I only take M-F, by the way)
  • scrambled eggs
  • bacon
  • almonds (salted)
  • grilled marinated flank steak
  • salad with faux Olive Garden dressing
  • chocolate covered raisins and almonds
  • a small container of potato chips
That was it. I was hungry last night, and this morning between 3:20 am and when I got up at 6. Unfortunately, I know that because I was awake the entire time. Sweating out the dog sitter stuff for the weekend. Not good.

Monday, December 7, 2015

Monday

159.8 this morning and damn relieved about it. I had half a donut yesterday, for starters.

Wait.

Should I get that stirred up about half a freaking donut? I'm starting to wonder. On the other hand, the donut came with a cup of super-sweet hot chocolate that I got in lieu of tea (they didn't sell it), and presaged a nosh-fest that lasted all day yesterday. So maybe the donut was the trigger for all the other sugar consumption. 

Anyway, that was our last semi-free weekend until Christmas - next weekend is the trip to Tampa, and the weekend after that is in NOLA for the Queen's Lunch and Chuck and Anna's Christmas party. I'm starting to feel a bit stressed about it all, but I do think we have managed to get some level of Christmas present shopping done for all the family and friends. Not quite done, but close. Just got wrapping and shipping to do.

With the Mardi Gras stuff right on the heels of Christmas, starting with our lunch on January 9th, you have no idea how much I'm looking forward to February right now. 

For sleep, I relied on Benadryl on Friday night, and got it by more normal means Saturday and last night - much better than it had been late last week, for whatever reason. Possibly it was due to getting a lot of sunlight on Saturday during the day and driving home in the dark from church that night. None of which applied to last night. Whatever.

Flank steak for dinner tonight, with salad, I think. Leftovers tomorrow, and the next 2 nights, I'm on my own - which probably means cheese. And that's fine. I'll eat light and wrap presents and be ready to get boxes out of the house as soon as I get back from Tampa, and hopefully that will be soon enough.

Oh. One sad note. Charlie got hold of my FuelBand on Saturday, and gnawed it enough to render it unusable. He didn't eat it, so we don't have to add the insult of a vet bill to the injury of losing expensive electronic toys, but it won't be part of my bio-hacking going forward. Bummer. Sort of, that is - I really hadn't been paying much attention to it of late, anyway, and had found that, in comparison with the FitBits and the Garmin VivoFit, it was super-inaccurate as to step-counts, which probably caused me to pay even less attention to it. Anyway, RIP. Don't know if I'll get one of the others to replace it or not.

Friday, December 4, 2015

Friday

The temptation to put my head on my desk and pass out this morning is strong. Woke with fasciculation and incipient calf cramps at a little before 1, and got back to drowsing some time after 3. I feel somewhere in the "hit by a bus" category; nasty.

159.2 this morning, so maybe the fasciculation was meaningful. I am going to try really hard to keep the ketosis going - and I rather wonder if the salt in the almonds is helping or hurting it. Which I think I said yesterday. I'm tired.

Here's yesterday:
  • tea with cream
  • the usual supplements
  • scrambled eggs
  • sausage patties
  • almonds
  • salad with Olive Garden dressing (some breadcrumbs; we forgot to ask for no-croutons)
  • chicken breast with a clearish sauce
  • about 1 TBSP of mashed potatoes
  • 1 piece of cheddar cheese
  • too many chocolate covered raisins
  • 1 Hershey's Nugget
That was it, I think. Long day yesterday, long commute, and I fell asleep quickly and easily. It just didn't last. I've had that occur several times this week, don't know why. I hope it's not a new trend, because I was enjoying the uninterrupted 6-8 hours I was getting. Problem today was that I couldn't relax my legs or they'd cramp up - not painfully, but tightly. And I took the Potassium at bedtime, too. Bother.

Long day today; we're going to the city's tree-lighting ceremony. May get home around 8 if we're lucky. At least it's the weekend - our last one that is not fully booked up. May spend it wrapping stuff. Or something.

Thursday, December 3, 2015

Thursday

Interesting. The last 2 jobs, writing here was pretty much my first task every day. They were both fairly boring jobs, which I'm thinking is why. Now, I have other things I want to get done first, and I get to this late in the day. Probably a good sign, as regards stress.

Anyway, 159.6 this morning, after a holiday party. I behaved myself. One glass of red wine, meats, veg, and cheeses. Here's the rundown:
  • tea with cream
  • the usual supplements
  • scrambled eggs
  • bacon
  • salted almonds - seem not to be causing problems, btw
  • salami and mixed cheeses
  • a couple of cornichon pickles (not sour, though, slightly sweet)
  • a glass of Pinot Noir
  • romain lettuce and tomato salad with a vinaigrette
  • brussels sprouts and pomegranate seeds
  • beef tenderloin, smoked
  • 2 Hershey's kisses
  • 1-2 Hershey's nuggets (leaning toward 1)
  • a couple of pieces of Cheddar
That was it. And I was hungry this morning around 5:30 am, which seems like a good thing. I also had leg cramps overnight, which is indicative of a low-carb diet and not entirely a good thing (since they wake me up). Interesting that the salt in the almonds is not enough to prevent the electrolyte leaching - and that the nightly Magnesium is not preventing this. Maybe I add a potassium to the nightly pile-o-pills (making it 3 - Mg, K, and Melatonin).

Still haven't managed any exercise, bar standing around eating finger food. I need something, because I'm feeling all balled-up - literally, it's like I'm curling in onto myself a bit, and standing for any length of time, or sitting in a pew in church, is getting uncomfortable. I do seem to be making progress correcting my seating posture, though - back onto my sit bones, not my tailbone, which I'd been doing over the summer. Need to stay vigilant about that one, I think.

Wednesday, December 2, 2015

Wednesday

The almonds I have at work are salted. I don't know how that will play out, generally. They're quite tasty, and have only almonds and salt in them, but I don't normally eat a lot of salt, and I'm a bit worried about water retention.

That said, I ate quite a few of them yesterday and wasn't much swollen last night or this morning. 160.0 today. Here's yesterday:
  • tea with cream
  • the usual supplements
  • a slice of pumpkin pie (GF crust)
  • almonds - raw and salted roasted ones
  • vegetable beef soup (with carrots, peas, beans, and parsnips)
  • a container of cashews - probably 2 handfuls
  • 2-3 Hersheys Nuggets (wretched things)
I think that was it. It might have been a good idea to have a salad with the soup, rather than just the soup alone. Good soup, though, for throwing a bunch of stuff in the crock pot and hoping for the best. We had the parsnips left over from a dinner Elizabeth made us while she was here, and they seemed like a good soup vegetable, so I added them. No idea what they taste like, but good texture.

Sleep involved Charlie on the bed. I know I woke at 11:35 and was up past midnight, but not all the way to 1 am. Woke again after 5, so possibly a better night's sleep than normal? Hard to say. Three nights ago, Anneke was whining and we let them all out; two nights ago, we left her and Roscoe free to roam but closed Charlie's kennel, and that worked, but last night he was wise to us. Tonight, everybody's confined again, I think. I am a bit groggy.

"Dinner" tonight at a company cocktail party - no idea if there will be anything there not swaddled in puff pastry. I hope so. Puff pastry is not food. I think I'll be eating a lot of salted almonds today, just in case they have to sustain me.

Tuesday, December 1, 2015

Tuesday

So yesterday I sat here and said that I was going to be good about eating for the rest of the month - and wasn't. We ended up eating out for dinner at a sort of comfort-food place, and the waiter brought us fried green tomatoes and fried okra as a substitute for bread. Since they're breaded, not a very good substitute. I'd never had one, and tried them. They're tasty. So I had more.

My thumb joints hurt this morning for the first time in years. I think perhaps that a combo of flour (in the tomatoes as well as in some soup) and nasty frying oil is at fault. 

160.4 this morning, so a half-pound up overnight. From that mess, I imagine, and a very salty "chopped steak". Here's yesterday:
  • tea with cream
  • the usual supplements
  • scrambled eggs
  • sausage patties
  • almonds
  • fried green tomatoes and fried okra (breaded) with ranch dip
  • salad with blue cheese dressing
  • tomato basil cream soup (almost certainly with a roux)
  • chopped steak with onions and peppers (gravy on the side)
  • 2-3 Hershey's Nuggets
  • a handful of cashews
I think that was it. Obviously snacking was high at night, and dinner was far from Paleo.

Here's the thing. I've gained nearly 20 pounds from my low point, which was a weight I rather liked (from an appearance standpoint as well as everything else). I'm up 15 from where I'd be super happy, and up 10 from where I'd find it acceptable. Enough already. I was able to lose 50 pounds originally; why can I not lose 10-20 now? I could blame hormones/menopause, but I think that's all stabilized enough that I should at least be dealing with the world as it is - I shouldn't be having things shift out from under me all the time. 

Right. So, starting over. Meat and leaves. Stop eating the following altogether:
  • breaded and fried anything.
  • Fried anything (i.e., french fries, potato chips, etc)
  • sugar (candy, chocolates, maple syrup, honey, etc)
  • legumes (refried beans, charro beans, black beans, peanuts) except green peas and green beans
  • starch (potatoes, whatever else falls in that category)
I wonder if the old Archevore 12 steps are still out there? I should go review them again. Because that's what I want to do.

Monday, November 30, 2015

Monday

We ate like pigs for the past 5 days. Pumpkin pie for breakfast, among other things. And I ate the crust, which was gluten free, but definitely carby. 

Thanksgiving dinner itself, unfortunately, wasn't all that great. The turkey was underdone, as were the brussels sprouts. Good mashed potatoes and gravy and cranberry sauce (OJ and maple syrup). And good pie. The pie came out great.

Anyway, I was super happy to see 159.8 this morning, after 161.2 yesterday. And I will be working between now and Mardi Gras to make the number go down some more. 

So, here's yesterday:
  • tea with cream
  • bacon
  • veggies and dip (mostly broccoli, some carrots)
  • an apple
  • cheddar cheese
  • low-carb crust pizza (pepperoni only)
  • 3-5 Hershey's Nuggets
We want to restart walking somehow, but we're working against the darkness right now - at both ends. Not sure what we'll end up doing (maybe it involves a headlamp?)

Sleep was as good as can be expected, given Charlie on the loose most of the week. We were hoping he would sleep quietly in his kennel last night, and he might have, but Anneke wasn't having any of it. She whined; I thought it was him, and let them all out. I woke at 4 this morning after getting to sleep around 10:30ish. Blecch. Trying again tonight, I guess. Maybe we leave Anneke and Roscoe's kennels open.

Tuesday, November 24, 2015

Tuesday

159.4 this morning. Or 160.2. Depending on how I stood on the scale. Sigh. I don't much like the fact that it does that - I like facts, period.

Oh well. I think I got rid of some of the water from the weekend. That's the takeaway. Here's yesterday:
  • tea with cream
  • the usual supplements
  • eggs scrambled with ham and cheese
  • almonds
  • about 1/2 pound pulled pork with BBQ sauce
  • cole slaw - probably a cup of it
  • cheese
  • a Hershey's Nugget
I feel like there was something else, but cannot think of it. Spent much of the evening cooking - after we got back from dinner, anyway. Made cornbread to be used for stuffing. And I wasn't hungry when we got back, so I know at one point I made the conscious choice not to eat.

I am trying to get back under control. With some success. It helps not to go out to dinner, but going to the BBQ joint isn't too bad.

Sleep last night was good. Until 4:20, when I woke up wondering why the heater had kicked in. Got up, turned it down, and spent the next hour and some trying to figure out what was making it do that. Once I was up, I got an answer. Our thermostat believes that we want it to be AT the temperature at whatever time we have programmed in for the change. So it starts early. Now that I know that, I will program it to get to full temperature about an hour later.

No idea what's on the program for today - work, obviously. After that? Possibly some prep cooking for Thanksgiving - I could make cranberry sauce, for example. Dice celery and onions for stuffing. Pies tomorrow, and yes, that's plural. GF Flour crust; it just needs to be pie. I may also try making some eggnog custards, just to eat. Breakfast Thursday before the race, maybe. And I promised Lee and Elizabeth some more of the Paleo Apple Pie cookies, so that tonight.

I think we are going to the beach tomorrow for a while. Not sure what else. Sun and fresh air are always good.

Monday, November 23, 2015

Monday

Bugger all. I thought I ate fairly well yesterday and ended up gaining over half a pound. 160.4 this morning; 159.8 yesterday. And the holiday season has not started yet. I'm going to need to be vigilant, for sure.

Here's yesterday:
  • tea with cream
  • scrambled eggs
  • bacon
  • a very large apple
  • cheese
  • 2 Hershey's Nuggets
  • 1/3-lb patty of grassfed beef
  • zoodles with butter, sour cream, and parmesan cheese
  • a small handful of cashews
So really a not-bad day, but not good enough to compensate for the past week, I think. I'm not eating mindfully right now, and I need to be.

We had ham with Trader Joe's julienned root vegetables on Saturday night, after a lunch of fish. So unless I'm eating in my sleep or really blanking on a bunch of illicit snacks, I shouldn't be gaining real weight right now.

Okay. I need to get a grip or my dress won't fit in January. I've made a dip for veggies and put it in what I'm calling the "snack drawer" of the new fridge, along with some veggies to dip. I think I need to avoid the nuts - especially peanuts and cashews; almonds are okay - for the most part. I'm less certain about the apples; I know they're pretty big on sugar, and the ones Lee bought are ginormous. Healthy, but I wish I could eat just half. I'll figure it out; last week was a bad week in general with a lot of eating out and making bad choices once there. 

Meat and leaves. Needs to be a theme song for a while.

Friday, November 20, 2015

Friday

Draggy tired this morning. I woke up around 3, I think, but fell back asleep quickly, and woke again at 5 with seriously aching hips. Not sure why, except that the drive home last night was super awful, and in Lee's car, to boot. And Charlie (our youngest dog) was sick and acting weird. Stressful night overall.

158.0 this morning; here's yesterday:
  • tea with cream
  • the usual supplements
  • scrambled eggs
  • bacon (I think)
  • almonds
  • a double Whattaburger, no bun (ground beef with pickles and tomatoes)
  • 2 pieces of cheese
  • lemon jello water
  • 5 Hershey's Nuggets (sigh)
I think that last item was all stress. I was binge-eating them, very mindlessly. The lemon stuff was about finishing the half-lemon left from our tree; we have lots of lemons from the store in the fridge, and others are ripening outside the door right now, so I'm feeling like I need to be getting through the bought ones.

Launching into holiday season starting tonight when Elizabeth arrives for a week! Will be working hard to keep the food sane.

Thursday, November 19, 2015

Thursday

Bugger. 158.8 this morning. And I thought I ate well yesterday. Here's the rundown:
  • tea with cream
  • the usual supplements
  • scrambled eggs
  • sausage patties
  • brisket
  • meatballs in a fairly sweet sauce (but not much sauce)
  • green beans 2 different ways
  • corn and cream cheese and chile casserole
  • jalapenos stuffed with cream cheese, wrapped in bacon
  • a chocolate with peanuts in
  • pumpkin pie ice cream
  • 2 teaspoons of dip of various types
  • salad with meat and cheese, blue cheese dressing
  • a handful of peanuts
  • a handful of cashews
  • 2 apple pie cookies
Long list, lots of small bites of stuff. Nothing obviously salty, but I seem to be up some. No idea why. It is what it is. Focusing on the health. Trying not to gain at this point, I think.

Sleep last night was fairly solid, although we had a dog on the bed - Lee was worried that Charlie wasn't feeling well, and might be needing out at some point. He didn't, fortunately. I woke once at 3:15ish, and then for the morning around 5:30. Not bad. More vivid dreams, although I don't recall any of them.

Wednesday, November 18, 2015

Wednesday

158.2 this morning; more water. My weight doesn't vary by that much day over day for any other reason. I have been a bit more restrained since the weekend, though. Here's yesterday:
  • tea with cream
  • the usual supplements
  • scrambled eggs
  • bacon
  • almonds
  • onion soup
  • salad with "ginger dressing"
  • about 3 T of white rice (some cold - resistant starch?)
  • 3 grilled shrimp
  • a grilled chicken breast with veg (mushrooms, zucchini, onions)
  • 3 of the apple pie cookies from yesterday
  • 1 Hershey's Nugget
We went to a hibachi steakhouse for dinner - a very easy way to eat Paleo, really. Did that, hit the grocery store quickly, and home. Since the apple pie cookies were almond/coconut flour based with palm sugar and not much maple syrup, I suspect they were fairly low carb. Quite tasty, though, and not hard to make. I'd do them again.

Sleep was broken up a lot last night. Leg cramps twice, super vivid dreams. My stomach was a bit upset going to bed, and may have kept me restless. However, I am more alert now than I was yesterday, although I was fairly groggy first thing this morning.

Pot Luck at work for lunch - (it's late) - I had a couple of meatballs, some brisket, green beans and cream cheese corn, jalapenos stuffed with cream cheese and wrapped in bacon, pumpkin pie ice cream, and a chocolate with peanuts. Good stuff, and not too far out of my eating zone. Should be good for a salad for dinner, which was the plan last we discussed it.

Tuesday, November 17, 2015

Tuesday

159.0 today; water from the weekend's eating is leaving, but the question is, am I actually gaining weight? Hard to tell. Here's yesterday:
  • tea with cream
  • the usual supplements
  • scrambled eggs
  • bacon
  • almonds
  • 2 grassfed burger patties
  • green beans
  • 2 pieces of cheddar
  • 2 "paleo apple pie cookies" - crust of almond/coconut flour, almond butter and regular butter, and egg, with chopped apples, maple syrup, and tapioca on top. Similar to pecan tassies in shape, and quite tasty
  • 1 dark chocolate Hershey's Nugget with almonds
Sleep last night was solid. Fell asleep before 10, I think, and didn't so much as twitch until after 5 am. Vivid dreams. And groggy as all get out this morning. It's cloudy and rainy, so it may be light-based circadian rhythm issues. Don't know.

Monday, November 16, 2015

Monday

Well, bother.

On Saturday night, I got a yen for the chips and dip we'd made last weekend, and there was some of it left, so I - sadly - cleaned out the bag of chip fragments while eating the dip. Lots of salt. I think I was 157.6ish on Saturday morning, maybe less. Sunday morning, 160.2. This  morning, 159.6.

I have a problem. Lee's pretty much abandoned Paleo eating; the only thing he isn't doing is buying bread or doing all his cooking from boxes. But he eats bread at restaurants, he buys chips and eats them, and the house is full of chocolates.

Obviously, I can just not eat this shit. And mostly, I don't. But it makes it harder, because I do have a habit of eating while bored, and the easiest thing to snack on is right there looking me in the eye.

Anyway, I didn't eat well this weekend. Beyond the chips on Saturday, I ate a lot of Hershey's Nuggets. Two at a time, several times through the day. Not good.

I think my only hope for survival at this point is to redefine chips and milk chocolate (any chocolate items that aren't Lindt 85%) as "Not Food". And stick to it. We had veggies (carrots and sugar snap peas) that I could have used with that dip. From now on, if I need a snack, those need to be my go-to items. Note that I'm focusing on the health aspect of things here. Right now, I don't seem to have the razor focus on the subject needed to lose weight.

We are getting a new fridge on Wednesday, with a snack drawer - I guess that's what it is. It is separate from the fridge and freezer, and controlled separately. Meat, cheese, snack veg. Make it as easy as possible to eat right.

Sleep was a mixed bag. Saturday night we had Charlie on the bed - he wouldn't stop whining until we let him out of his crate - and I woke several times - for good at 3:18 am. While I was waiting for it to be morning, I was reading Facebook, and ran into a Dave Asprey post claiming that not needing a lot of sleep is maybe a sign of good health. I hope that's true. I was functional yesterday, but did fall asleep on the couch several times in the evening. And then slept last night straight through until about 4:30, which is much better - although, knowing that I fell asleep right around 10, I think that's only 6.5 hours of sleep. So maybe I'm just in good health?

Friday, November 13, 2015

Friday

Gotta stop letting the dog sleep in our bed. He was fussy last night, for no obvious reason, and we let him join us. He lodged himself in the small of my back, and became stone. No idea how he does it, but he becomes immovable at night. 

So my back and left hip are less than fully happy this morning - not bad, by any means, but tweaked a bit. I think I have been sleeping funny on that hip anyway, and it's turned; I need to stretch out the adductors (I think they are) so it can open the joint up a bit more.

That, and come up with a routine to strengthen my shoulder joints, so they don't get tweaky. Research needed.

158.0 this morning; I think that's down a tiny bit from yesterday. At which I ate:
  • tea with cream
  • the usual supplements
  • scrambled eggs
  • pork sausage patties
  • almonds
  • 3 "street tacos" with corn tortillas, beef, veg, salsa
  • beans - not refried, the loose kind from Mexican places around here
  • some of the spanish rice
  • 2 Hershey's nugget things - one dark, one milk chocolate
  • a handful of cashews
The beans just tasted good last night. No serious after-effects that I can see. Maybe I needed something in them.

Still had calf cramps last night - one real one in my right leg, for a change, and the threat of others. I added potassium to the bedtime magnesium, to see if that would help; it didn't last night, but maybe it will with a bit more in the system.

I'm drinking a lot of tea at the new job; the room we're in is chilly and having something warm is helpful. Leads to more bathroom breaks than I'd been used to, and that may be dehydrating me a bit, dragging electrolytes along. Because I don't think my eating is super ketogenic or anything right now.

Another thought I wanted to capture. I have had 2 periods of super-successful weight loss. In both cases, there was a lot of mental focus on my part. I don't have that right now. I am focused on the health aspects of eating - trying to keep things fairly clean, increasing veg, etc. - but less on keeping the momentum going. Could that be why I'm just bouncing around between 155 and 160 right now? Maybe so. Don't know if I can muster up the focus right now or not, but I'll let that thought simmer for a while.

Thursday, November 12, 2015

Thursday

Sheesh.

I should be getting a new computer at work shortly, one where my palm doesn't keep hitting the trackpad while I type. That's happening a lot with what I have at the moment, and while I'm getting better at keeping my palm elevated (didn't we all learn that in piano lessons?), I'm nowhere near perfect, and the results can be disconcerting.

158.0 this morning; here's yesterday:
  • tea with cream
  • the usual supplements
  • scrambled eggs with ham and cheese
  • almonds throughout the day (more than usual, I think)
  • salad with blue cheese dressing
  • a glass of Riesling
  • chicken breast stuffed with swiss cheese, ham, and asparagus, with a white sauce of some sort (definitely flour in there)
  • green beans with pecans
  • a handful of cashews
  • one square of the almond joy cake thingie
  • one Hershey's nugget
That was it. Got veg, so that's good. We tried out another restaurant near the house - and it was pretty good, although the flour in the sauce and I were somewhat incompatible at bedtime.

My sleep pattern at the moment is super odd. I get to sleep easily enough, mostly, this week at least, without audio assistance. I sleep well, and wake, feeling refreshed and ready for the day. At 11 pm. Sometimes even earlier than that. No freaking idea why. I'm able to get back to sleep at that point, thank goodness, but last night, I had leg cramps (yes, the left leg) twice to top it off. Some dreaming, which is good, and I woke up for real around 5 am, I think. Not sure what's up with that 11 pm thing, though.

As for the leg cramps, I'm taking Magnesium at night, and eating tons of nuts, which should have a lot of electrolyte minerals in them. I think I may start increasing the Potassium in the mornings.

Wednesday, November 11, 2015

Wednesday

I keep thinking it's Thursday for some reason. It's not. I guess it's to do with getting my head around my new job, commuting, and all that, so the things that anchor me to time are a bit off. It will sort itself out shortly, I imagine.

158.2 this morning. Here's yesterday:
  • tea with cream
  • the usual supplements
  • scrambled eggs with ham and cheese
  • almonds throughout the day
  • salad with meat and cheese, with blue cheese dressing
  • two squares of "paleo almond joy bar" - a cake made with coconut and almond flour, coconut milk, eggs, coconut sugar, and dark chocolate chips
  • a handful of cashews
  • a dark chocolate "Hershey's nugget" with almonds
That seems short. But I think that was it. My days are skewing a bit late now that I'm driving for work, and that means we have less time to snack at night.

Sleep was pretty good, although I dreamt a lot. Woke up shortly after 5 am. Driving not terribly stressful, although it's probably adding to the baseline level.

Tuesday, November 10, 2015

Tuesday

158.8; ate Chinese yesterday. Including fried noodles. I should know better. Slightly upset stomach this morning, as a result, and inflammatory aches and pains. Ugh.

Monday, November 9, 2015

Monday

Mostly great eating weekend. Mostly. Yesterday afternoon/evening kind of sucked. 158.6 this morning after being 157.6 yesterday. Still down from Friday, so I guess that's good.

I don't think I can list out everything I ate after lunchtime yesterday, but it included potato chips and sour cream dip, buttermilk pie (including the crust), and a drink made with moscato and fruit. Also ham and twice-baked potatoes. The real culprit was the chips. I hadn't had chip-and-dip for quite a while, and it was utterly addictive. Just weird. The best thing I'd tasted in years level of addiction. 

The pound gained was almost certainly salt. And some bloating from the piecrust, I'd guess. I wouldn't have had it, but a guest brought it to dinner at our house, so it would have been rude not to eat it.

Sleep Friday and Saturday was pretty good. Last night, less so, owing to a knot in my right shoulder. But I didn't use the radio to fall asleep or to get back to sleep, and woke for good around 5:15, and that was way better than last week.

Drive was less awful than some of the mornings last week. And I'm thinking of getting some audio courses going again, to make the time interesting and useful for me, which should help.

Friday, November 6, 2015

Friday

I'm pretty sure I stepped on the scale this morning, but the memory is vague. 159.0, I think. I was hungry this morning, and that's something. Here's yesterday:
  • tea with cream
  • lemon jello water (starting that again)
  • scrambled eggs
  • bacon
  • the usual supplements
  • almonds - 15-20ish
  • a cup of hot chocolate
  • turkey with gravy
  • green beans
  • mashed sweet potatoes
  • cranberries
  • 2 milk chocolates with almonds
  • a handful of cashews
Not bad, really. Vegetables, reasonable meat, and not a huge number of snacks. The cocoa was mostly because I was freezing and the tea options weren't great.

Driving stress continues to be a bit ugly - the traffic here is horrendous on a good day, and the first week after a time change has been short on good days, apparently. I did get home by 5:30 last night, which was much better than before. I think I just have to accept it as a bad thing and deal; the key will be my attitude, probably.

Sleep last night was great - until 3:40, when I woke for the day. Getting old, that. Lee said that he got up around then for the bathroom, and he's not great at slipping unobtrusively in and out of bed. So that might explain it - and make it hard to solve. I should just get better at falling back asleep in the wee hours.

Thursday, November 5, 2015

Thursday

I was wrong - I do have access. 159.0 this morning. Here's yesterday:
  • tea with cream
  • the usual supplements
  • scrambled eggs
  • sausage patties
  • trail mix - cashews, almonds, raisins, m&ms
  • bratwurst
  • sauerkraut
  • Southern-style green beans
  • dark chocolate peanut butter cup
  • handful of cashews
  • 1 milk chocolate with almonds
Sleep was fairly awful; lots of complex leg cramps. I slept in between times, but they were not contiguous, and the waking was abrupt.

Traffic/commuting was fairly awful - I don't think it's going to get much better, so my stress baseline starts there. My task will be to keep things not much worse than that.

Wednesday, November 4, 2015

Wednesday

Quick update. I seem not to have internet access at my new job, so I'm having to do this at night. So.

159.6 this morning. Down 0.2 pounds from yesterday. Food yesterday was pretty good - egg-and-bacon breakfast, chicken kebab and salad lunch, steak and green beans dinner. A couple of chocolates and a handful of cashews.

Sleep less than great, I'm sorry to say. Choppy Monday night, short last night. Woke for the day at 3:45. Stupid time change. I do hope I'll find I'm used to it soon.

Monday, November 2, 2015

Monday

Bad eating weekend. Candy. Gluten-free pizza. All sorts of nastiness. So be it. 159.6 this morning.

Hopefully, I'm at the end of that trend for a while. Start working from home tomorrow morning. So I'm crossing my fingers that I'm well away from junk food, and busy enough to avoid boredom eating.

Sleep last night was odd. Seems like I woke for good at 2 am, but I don't really remember what was on the radio after that, in any detail, anyway, so it's possible that I did sleep afterwards, for some of it at least. Aches and pains this time - from bad food, in part, and from furniture assembly, which occupied much of Sunday.

Really, that's it. Start fresh today or tomorrow morning at the latest. Go from there.

Friday, October 30, 2015

Friday

Fog this morning and approaching rain. I ran around the house early, shutting windows, but the humidity indoors had reached 78%. It's not uncomfortable, though, and the AC will eventually get rid of it.

No outdoor time this morning - had laundry to start and some bone broth to strain. I've been making it in the oven - brown the bones, add water, bake at 230ish for a really long time - but our oven doesn't seem to like that last bit (the really long time). I came out this morning to find that it, and only it, had had a power failure about 2 hours before I got up. Fortunately, the broth was still at 180, well over the danger point, and I pulled it out and put it on the stove while getting things ready to strain and cool it. It's in the fridge now.

Mostly the dogs get it - poured on their food to juice things up a bit. But when I have a recipe that needs chicken broth or stock, I use it. They are responsible for the bones, since we've found it's far cheaper to pull apart a roast chicken from Costco or Sam's than it is to give them decent quality canned food, and possibly better for them. And we get free bone broth - I did 4 carcasses' worth yesterday and still have another 2-4 in the freezer.

So, 157.6 this morning again. I'm a bit surprised, actually, given my eating yesterday. Which looked like this:

  • tea with cream
  • bacon
  • cheddar cheese
  • a few almonds - not many
  • ham and swiss cheese
  • ice cream - a vanilla Haagen-Dasz single serve
  • potato chips - a handful
  • 3 or 4 milk chocolates with almonds
  • about a handful of peanuts - to clean the bowl out

Boredom/stress eating. I spent a lot of yesterday working on not killing the dogs, who were all mildly psycho. In and out of the house all day. Barking like mad at nothing. Needing attention. I don't know if the approaching weather was causing it, or the fact that Lee's been gone most of the past week.

New job's all set - and I'm feeling extreme love for it at the moment, since my first day consists of being taken to lunch, and nothing more. I have a full day Tuesday, but Monday, it's just lunch. How cool is that?

Busy weekend ahead - errands, a haircut, Halloween, possibly some furniture-building. Housecleaning since I won't be in the house during weekdays after this. Prep cooking so we will have dinner available next week. Shipping out my soon-to-be former employer's equipment. And it may be in the rain, all of it.

Thursday, October 29, 2015

Thursday

The weather here has been magnificent the past couple of days - clear, sunny, not terribly hot. I left the windows open all night and will continue today, to air the house out thoroughly. It is supposed to rain a lot starting some time tomorrow; if it gets as humid beforehand as it did last week, I'll have to shut things up for a while, just to keep it reasonably dry in here.

Spent a brief time outdoors this morning, taking the trash out, tidying a bit, putting Halloween decorations out. A little natural light at the beginning of the day. Quite nice, and I probably should have been doing it all along.

157.6 again this morning. Here's yesterday:

  • tea with cream
  • cheese
  • a small handful of cashews
  • leftover spaghetti squash with butter and Mizithra cheese
  • tortilla chips and salsa - about 20 chips
  • leftover burger
  • salad with faux Olive Garden dressing
  • dark chocolate with hazelnuts (2 pips from a Ritter bar)
  • 1 milk chocolate with almonds
  • a small container of potato chips

Truly an odd mix of stuff, but it was what I wanted at the time. I have one more burger left over and will probably have it tonight, with another salad, since I need to be eating the lettuce before it gets old. And I need to think of something for dinner tomorrow, so we won't be tempted to eat out. Not feeling inspired, I must say.

Wednesday, October 28, 2015

Wednesday

Did I label yesterday "Wednesday"? I have an odd idea that I might have, but can't go look. Today is Wednesday. I checked on the calendar and everything.

157.6 this morning, give or take. Here's yesterday:

  • tea with cream
  • the usual supplements (including Magnesium at night)
  • scrambled eggs
  • sausage patties
  • almonds - probably a lot, about 5 at a time
  • cheese
  • 3 potato chips
  • 1/4 lb grassfed beef burger
  • a lot of spaghetti squash with browned butter and Mizithra cheese
  • 3 milk chocolates with almonds

I had a wee bit of a sweets craving going last night. Need to come up with some better snacking options, I think, whether that's cutting up peppers and making dip or what. The apples were actually helpful; I could get some more of those as well. Worth some thought.

Ran some errands after dinner; Lee had to go to a conference and will be there the rest of the week, so I'm on my own for eating. Thinking another salad with meat and cheese for dinner - more of the faux Olive Garden dressing on it.

The weather is super nice today - I have open windows to get the air recirculated. It's supposed to be better for our concentration to have access to fresh air, and I'm good with that. I'm rather hoping we can keep a few cracked from now until next spring, and just reverse the seasons here regarding when the house is shut up and when it's not.

I start working away from home next week. I'll be glad to get out, at least at first. It's bizarrely isolating to spend all day here, eat dinner, hang out through the evening, and never leave. Probably a really good break for me - no commute, able to get caught up on sleep a bit, stuff like that. I'm hoping this new job won't turn into a death march, and from everything I heard about it, I think that will be in my control. I certainly hope so. But before that, I have one more late night, if you can believe it. Tomorrow night off-cycle deployment. Ugh.

Tuesday, October 27, 2015

Tuesday

Mexican for dinner last night. Sort of. I had a Mexican-influenced Cobb salad - chicken, bacon, avocado, olives, etc., with a spicy ranch dressing. Also chips and "green sauce", which seems to be a thing here. Whatever it is, it's somewhat addictive.

In other words, I ate too many chips. It happens. 157.8 this morning. Could be worse.

Other than that, food included cheese, almonds, bacon and eggs, tea with cream, cashews, and peanuts. Pretty normal day around here.

I don't have much to say, obviously. Woke at 3:20 am. Fell back asleep around 5:45. Woke again as the alarm went off, 15 minutes later. I'm a bit cranky.

Monday, October 26, 2015

Monday

Quiet weekend. Had to be, actually; we had something over 6" of rain throughout the 48 hours. The dogs and I stayed home, and I puttered a bit. Moved books around, cooked a little, sewed a little. Stuff of that sort. Read a lot - real books on paper and everything. Took it easy on the electronics - didn't skip them entirely, but laid off as much as possible. Well, not the TV. It was on more than usual for me when I'm by myself.

I think I ate well. Sort of. A lot of cheese-nuts-chocolate going on. Skipped breakfast on Sunday. Had a salad-with-meat for Saturday dinner, and chili last night. All good stuff.

I went from 157 on Friday, to 158.6 on Saturday. No idea why. Back to 157.4 yesterday, and 157.0 today. I've been doubling up on magnesium at night, and the cramps aren't back. For which I am truly grateful. Sleep Friday night was okay, Saturday wasn't great on account of a lot of flash-flood warnings over my phone (which buzzed it even after I turned the sound off). Last night, I slept like a rock. Woke up for the first real time at 5:58 am.

Seems like hot flashes are on the uptick these days. I'm starting to think they will never stop; that this is the new normal and that everyone else is suffering through them but figures they're not worth even talking about after a while. Ugh, if true. But not much real that I can do about them.


Friday, October 23, 2015

Friday

So, if I drank half of a bottle of Gatorade at 2 am, is that yesterday's eating or today's?

Damn leg cramps. Super nasty ones. Left leg, obviously. 

First bout was easy to get rid of - hop out of bed, put weight on my heel, gone. Second bout - it took several minutes to make my heel move even a little bit toward the floor. That down, the outside of my ankle/calf cramped up, making it impossible to use that leg for anything. I put magnesium oil on it. I walked around a bit. I couldn't get back in bed without it getting worse. I finally walked into the kitchen and got a Gatorade, and either that or the longer walking finally got it so I could lift it back into bed without significant pain. Put some heat on it, and it finally died down to a low fasciculation, and I fell back to sleep. I guess I should probably drink the rest of that Gatorade today. I did double up my Potassium this morning, and will be stricter about Magnesium at bedtime (I took it last night, for what that's worth).

157.0 this morning. Here's yesterday:
  • tea with cream
  • the usual supplements
  • scrambled eggs
  • pork sausage
  • almonds - not a whole lot, I think
  • cheese - 3-4 pieces of Cheddar
  • an apple
  • Mahi with lump crabmeat and lemon butter sauce
  • a few green beans
  • a taste of cheesy grits
  • a handful of cashews (maybe 2? I can't remember)
  • 2 milk chocolates with almonds
  • (half a bottle of Gatorade)
I'm just wrung out this morning. Looking forward to a weekend with not a huge amount to do - it's supposed to rain torrentially and we're being advised to avoid leaving home. Kay-fine. I'll start working on dismantling the home office a bit, stuff like that. Work on making hangers for masks in our Mardi Gras-themed bathroom, maybe do some cross-stitch on a towel I started about 2 years ago. Let the dogs through the back doors. Cook, maybe. And try to eat healthy and avoid junk. Also, now that I've figured out how, clean the shower. We have hard water, and it's a bit crusty in there.

Thursday, October 22, 2015

Thursday

"Sleep, that knits up the raveled sleave of care..." If only. Last night, one of our dogs was dissatisfied with sleeping in a crate, and we let all 3 of them out for the night. Turns out all we really needed to do was let him go outside (which, of course, we did not do - oops), but he slept between us, and I woke up at 4 am with him pressing heavily into the small of my back. For a smallish dog, he can generate a lot of pressure in that way. Anyway, I got a solid 6 hours before that point, and that will have to do. Now I just need to get over the headache...

157.0 this morning. I guess what I'm seeing is a slowish reaction to the bad eating last weekend - a spike, followed by the slow loss of whatever it was - water, certainly, at the least. Anyway, I'm glad to see that reversion to the mean in my case is a decrease, not an increase. Here's yesterday:
  • tea with cream
  • the usual supplements
  • bacon
  • almonds
  • cheese - 5 pieces, I think
  • two handfuls of cashews (overall less than a half-cup)
  • a "heritage pork" porterhouse - really thick bone-in chop, quite tasty, with apples and pomegranate glaze
  • brussels sprouts - not roasted, but still good
  • 4 french fries fried in duck fat
  • a glass of fairly dry Chardonnay
  • 2 milk chocolates with almonds
Dinner was big - also late. So of course, I went to bed mildly hungry. We were being guinea pigs for a new restaurant - I think it opens Friday. Never done that before. The food was very good, although one member of our party thinks she got food poisoning, which wasn't so great. Anyway, the whole meal appeared either Paleo or Paleo-able. Though I didn't inquire about other cooking fats. 

I think I have a job. Haven't seen the details yet, nor formally accepted an offer, but if nothing goes sideways, I will. Don't know if that will increase or decrease my stress levels. At least initially, it should decrease my annoyance levels. And it will get me out of the house. Definitely a good thing, that.

Wednesday, October 21, 2015

Wednesday

Apparently, I'm still in ketosis. That is, if ketosis is the cause of wacky leg cramps. Wow. Last night was brutal, although I feel rested this morning. Around 1 am, I got a cramp in my left leg (always the left leg for the weird ones). Stomped that one out, went back to sleep. It moved a bit, from my calf muscle to the muscles on the outside of my ankle - the ones I don't really know how to release. Was up walking around twice trying to get that one to release, and when it didn't, I applied heat, and went right back to sleep. After that, I think it fired in my calf one more time, not really waking me up, and the next thing I knew, it was nearly 5:30 am. 

157.6 this morning. So I lost a lot of water, I guess. The cramping is certainly consistent with electrolyte imbalance from that sort of thing. Here's yesterday:
  • tea with cream
  • the usual supplements
  • scrambled eggs
  • bacon
  • almonds - probably a lot, throughout the day
  • cheese (regular cheddar) - 5-6 pieces over lunch/dinnertime
  • white meat from a roast chicken
  • salad with blue cheese dressing
  • 2 milk chocolates with almonds
That was it. I managed to stay out of the cashews, and while I would have preferred to have only had one chocolate, it's better than the 4 or so I had one of the weekend days. 

We're going to a restaurant opening for dinner today. No idea what the cuisine is, so I may grab a couple of pieces of cheese beforehand, just in case, and aim for the veggies there. Some time this week, we're having spaghetti squash with browned butter and mizithra cheese, and burger patties, but not tonight. I also have smoked sausage and sauerkraut for a no-prep meal. I'm hoping those things will keep us from eating out the rest of the week. We shall see.

Tuesday, October 20, 2015

Tuesday

Not under control yet. 158.8 this morning. Here's yesterday:
  • tea with cream
  • the usual supplements
  • scrambled eggs
  • sausage patties
  • almonds - through the day, probably about 15
  • a handful of cashews
  • 5 pieces of cheese (mid-day and dinnertime)
  • bell pepper stuffed with grassfed beef and Mexican-style stewed tomatoes and cheese
  • an apple
  • a very small handful of peanuts
  • 2 milk chocolates with almonds
That was it. A modest breakfast, cheese and nuts for "lunch", a modest dinner, with fruit and chocolate for dessert. Seems like that should keep me in stasis. It's not, though - at least, I think it's not.

Hoping for salad for dinner tonight. I'm thinking I need to go on a salad bender for a while. Seems like that's what I was doing a couple of weeks ago when I had spontaneous weight loss. We went out, I had a salad. Many nights at home, salad. I like salad, and I busted up a head of iceberg yesterday morning to facilitate them. That, and maybe I should start having raw veg and dip as snacks. I'm at home, for crying out loud. I have refrigerators. I could do that. Worth pursuing.

Sleep last night was great until 3:30 am. Damn. Wasn't that my issue last fall? About 6-6.5 hours, I think. Not enough. Though I may have managed to fall asleep again around 4:30 for nearly an hour, so I guess it was 7+ hours. Which is better.

Monday, October 19, 2015

What was different

Salad for dinner.

No effing snacking.

Limiting myself to one chocolate at the absolute tag end of the day.

Got it. No rocket science. But it seems a lot easier to go off the rails right now.

Monday

Ugh. For some reason, I completely forgot about doing this on Friday; 157.8 then; 158.2 or 158.4 this morning. No surprise; I ate Mexican - and bad-for-me Mexican - yesterday at lunchtime, despite not being hungry. Lee gets weird if he's hungry and I'm not, so I ate. Very annoying, really. 

Anyway, I need to take a look at the weeks around our New Orleans jaunt, because I was on a downward trend then, and I'm not now, and something has changed. Obviously, it could be hormones, it could be setpoint defense of some sort, who knows?

Here's yesterday:
  • tea with cream
  • the usual supplements
  • scrambled eggs
  • bacon (1 piece)
  • pork sausage patties (2)
  • a couple of stabs at the cashews - maybe 3/4 cup total. Damn them.
  • 2 chocolates with almonds
  • chips and queso
  • chicken taquitos (3 halves, 1" diameter)
  • salad with meat in it, Olive Garden dressing
  • a piece of cheddar
That was it. I've so very obviously not solved my issue with vegetables, and I was boredom eating for part of the day. That, despite a morning spent painting a bathroom, and some work on our table centerpieces for the Mardi Gras King's luncheon.

I had a very productive weekend. Got the bathroom painted - over 2 days, because it involves 3 colors of paint (and while the paint is done for this phase, I will be painting over it shortly with similarly tinted metallic paint. It's complicated.) I also lined 3 skirts, which task has been on my to-do list since last Christmas, basically (about the time I finished making them without lining), and fixed another one whose hook had been caught and ripped off by our old dryer. Apparently, I also ate badly. 

Lee's diverticulitis seems to be on the ebb, thank goodness. He's sleeping better, and I've been sleeping better since Friday (probably the reason I forgot to write here was that I'd been awake since 1:30 am and was seriously dysfunctional). The past couple of days, I've been waking up around 4:30-4:45 am, which is in the 7-8 hour range, and maybe just what I naturally need. I have pretty good energy during the day, anyway.

Not much else to report. I'll be re-reading those entries from a couple of weeks ago, to see if I can figure out what's different, and if it's to do with eating, revert to what I was doing then. And we might be able to get walks in later in this week, if the gastro doc says it's okay.

Thursday, October 15, 2015

Thursday

157.4 this morning; stomach complaining a bit. Considering the amount of hydration I shed yesterday, I'm a bit surprised. Ah, well. 

Here's yesterday:
  • tea with cream
  • the usual supplements
  • scrambled eggs
  • 2 pork sausage patties
  • almonds - 10-15, I think
  • 3 small handfuls of cashews - probably less than 1/2 cup
  • 3 extremely thin-sliced cheddar cheese slices
  • 1/2 pound of shrimp in lemon-butter sauce
  • about 1/3 cup rice
  • 1 milk chocolate with almonds
Still no vegetables. I think we need a salad tonight. At least, I do.

Sleep last night was good - woke once between 4 and 5, fell back asleep almost immediately, and woke again when the alarm went off. Weird dreams though - not good. So I don't know how restful it was. Interesting sidenote, though - I am not limiting my use of screens at night, and I still conk out quickly. Might be the melatonin, which I'm still taking nightly. I restarted the magnesium at bedtime too - not sure why I'd stopped, except maybe for not taking it on travel. But I think I was feeling the lack.

Wednesday, October 14, 2015

Wednesday

Yesterday was peculiarly stressful. Quite literally nothing to do at work, and a conversation about another job with a long commute that, for no particular reason, had me down a bit all evening. I need a job, but I would like a job that has the potential for me to enjoy it. And so far, I think I've discussed only one that really fits that bill. No point sweating it now, since I have no offers to contemplate. But I was. And it triggered horrid cravings, for sugar.

So I ate. Bad things. Potato chips. Extra chocolate. Wine. Okay, wine isn't really that bad, and the potato chips amounted to less than a small lunchbox bag - fragments at the bottom of a big bag. And I had 2 chocolates instead of 1. All those excuses aside, I still weighed 157.6 this morning.

I'm paying for something, though. I ache all over. Seed oils in the chips, maybe? That's a lot of reaction for not a lot of input, if so. But something to watch, nonetheless.

Here's yesterday:
  • tea with extra cream (3 times usual)
  • scrambled eggs
  • bacon
  • a few almonds
  • cashews - 1/2 cup plus at least 1 handful
  • cheese, I think
  • potato chips
  • 2 milk chocolates with almonds
  • fajita steak and guacamole
  • a glass of sangria
Looking at that list, I see no vegetables or fruit. I think that's probably wrong - not that I missed something in recording it, but that I missed something in eating. Shrimp cooked with butter and lemons and garlic tonight, and a salad.

And no chips. Because I ate the last of them. Sigh.

Tuesday, October 13, 2015

Tuesday

Weird pattern this go-round. 157.2 this morning, so up a pound and a half from yesterday. Seems like I see a bit of loss, then gain something substantial overnight, then lose it in increments to a slightly lower point. Lather rinse repeat.

Whatever. Here's yesterday:
  • tea with cream
  • the usual supplements
  • scrambled eggs
  • bacon
  • a few almonds
  • possibly 2 pieces of cheese
  • double cheese Whataburger, no bun
  • half pound of pulled pork
  • cole slaw
  • a sample of "green chile stew"
  • one milk chocolate with almonds
I haven't had leg cramps for a couple of days, so it occurs to me that the apple and sweet potato over Sunday may have popped me out of ketosis. I've increased my cream consumption today (2 cups with it this morning), and will see if that reduces my appetite for the day. The burger at lunch yesterday was because Lee was out and brought it back - don't know that I was particularly hungry at the time. And it took me 2 hours to eat it, because of conference calls. So rather nasty there toward the end.

I think, with his diverticulitis (we did get confirmation that he'd had diverticuli (not sure why, but the medical literature thinks the plural ends in a - is this a Greek word?) back when he had his colonoscopy. I was wondering if something in eating Paleo might have caused them, but apparently not. We are probably going to have some discussions about whether or not he should be eating whole grains in the aftermath of this mess. I'm relatively convinced that the cause of the flareup is that he went on a fried-oyster-and-gumbo bender after moving here, and either the oil or the flour or both did the damage. He's been eating cake, for heaven's sake. Problem is, some of the more "conventional wisdom" diet recommendations suggest high-fiber from grains as a good thing to ward off future attacks. I'm okay with high-fiber from vegetables and fruits; probably something we should both eat more of. He's meeting with the gastro doc Monday; guess we'll figure out how to proceed once that's done.

Monday, October 12, 2015

Monday

The weekend was, ... interesting. Probably an increase in stress, and not a lot got done, unfortunately. Lee had a stomach ache the last half of the week that wouldn't go away, and we finally went to a quickie-med on Saturday night to see if it was something serious. Which it was. Diverticulitis. He's had IV antibiotics (I KNEW they still existed!) and a prescription for oral antibiotics and pain meds, and a referral to a gastroenterologist. I guess I'm glad we found it this month, and not next, when the out of pocket expense would have been a lot nastier.

He's not feeling much better yet, and if it doesn't clear up soon, he may find himself in a hospital for a week. Reading up on it, he could end up with something bursting and a case of peritonitis, so it's rather like appendicitis in miniature. No idea what triggered it, or what caused the diverticuli in the first place. I will be reading up on it this week, for sure.

As for me - 155.8 this morning, up from yesterday, although I don't exactly recall what yesterday was - maybe 155 even. Ate pretty well over the weekend, although, because Lee's supposed to eat low-fiber until this clears up (and then high fiber after - and no, that doesn't make sense to me either), and we just got a box of fruit in the mail from our old veterinarians, who miss us, I ate an apple for lunch, just to not waste it. 4 apples and 6 pears, and some cheese. Very nice of them, really. I'll just work through them one every other day or so. Lee also bought a bag of grapes at the grocery store last week, which he has not started eating. I'm not eating those, or if I do, just maybe 5 at a time. I knew when he bought them that he wouldn't eat them; what I didn't know was that he'd have a medical excuse. Sigh.

Here's yesterday:
  • tea with cream
  • 2 sausage patties
  • cashews - 3 handfuls, I think
  • peanuts - 1 or maybe 2 handfuls
  • salami, gouda, and apple slices (lunch)
  • 2 more pieces of Kerrygold cheese
  • 1/4 of a ham steak and a baked sweet potato with butter and sour cream
  • a milk chocolate with almonds
I was trying to emphasize protein, and because we never got dinner on Saturday due to the medical excursion, was super hungry yesterday afternoon. Not at breakfast, but once I ate the sausage, I was starving. Go figure.

Sleep last night was really good. The night before, not so much. I woke up yesterday morning around 3:30 for the day. It happens. Got out to do shopping yesterday, but didn't get much else done, except a pot of chicken stock in the oven. Supposedly bone broth/gelatin are good for diverticulitis, so now we have a lot. I don't know if it will gel or not - it's still in the fridge and hasn't been packaged up - but I'm hoping so, considering the state of the carcases and skin I pulled out of it.

Friday, October 9, 2015

Friday

And,... up. 156.8 this morning. Water, I guess. We had a fairly salty day yesterday, as will be shown below.

Late-ish night last night, for work. Got to bed around 10:45, I think. To sleep shortly after 11. And pretty much stayed that way, although I know there was a point where I was trying hard (and succeeding) to stave off a leg cramp without getting up. Woke up for good at 5:58 am. Really, not too bad. Much better than it was last year. 

I was reading some other writing I'd done over the past 3 years, never posted anywhere, and cannot believe how miserable I was - probably, we were. Not sleeping, undeclared fighting with my brother's family, a lot of resentment, aches and pains, and work stress. Also, menopause. As things stand now, I still have a touch of menopause, which mostly seems to be there to destroy my hair as soon as I have it dried properly, by making my head and neck sweat profusely. Apart from that, I am feeling a lot better. Work is annoying, but it's not getting to me, because I know it's nearing an end of some sort. With us not on the spot to witness it, with them in California to boot, I'm not being bothered by any issues with my brother, or with my parents because of how they defer to him. 

I don't know how much of that stuff had to do with my weight struggles over that period, after I'd lost so much to start with, so easily, but despite this morning's numbers, I do feel much more in the groove right now, with the misery lifted a lot. I should probably do some thinking about what got me into that mindset, and how I might avoid it in the future. Valuable for my ongoing health, I think. And on brief thought, right now, it seems like adequate sleep has been critical in effecting the change. Back then, the entries are all about exhaustion and Benadryl and RedBull and wanting to curl up and weep, with the rest piling on top of that. For whatever reason, we've been able to sleep better here, so far. I hope it continues.

Here's yesterday:
  • tea with cream
  • bacon
  • cashews - 1/2 cup and another handful later
  • 2 almonds
  • a handful of peanuts
  • 2 pieces of cheese
  • beef-vegetable soup - about 3 cups, I think
  • 2 squares of Lindt 85% chocolate
  • a small portion of potato chips
That was it. Salt in pretty much all of it, which is why I'm thinking we're looking at water. Probably not enough protein, either, which triggered the chips. I should probably work on increasing that today. Maybe some deli meat at lunchtime.

Party to meet the neighbors after dinner. No idea what dinner will be; I should probably figure that out. Maybe meatballs and spaghetti sauce, since it's quick.

Thursday, October 8, 2015

some random observations

After making the statement earlier that I thought I hadn't been at this weight all year, I went and looked - and I had, in very early January for a while. Anyway, I read through about 3 months' worth of entries, just to see how things had been then, and to see if I really do feel better than I did, or if I'm just imagining it.

I'm not imagining it. In January-March of this year, at least, I was feeling pretty wretched - not sleeping regularly, having to rely on Benadryl every third night for much of it, aching all over, and being exhausted and cranky. And craving carbs in an insidious way. 

Compare that to now - getting pretty decent sleep on a regular basis (not perfect, but a ton better than at the beginning of the year, for sure), feeling pretty energetic not suffering from pervasive achiness, although my hips aren't great and I have some body mechanics stuff going on, and generally interested in life. Huge improvement.

I sure hope it's not the commute being gone. Because I'm 90% sure it won't be getting better once I get a job locally, and it may get worse. Other job stress is less because it's coming to an end, but has been supplanted by some level of worry about financials if I don't find something pretty quickly. Which is getting better, because Lee's getting paid a bit for his school stuff and decided to take his Social Security, so we should be able to live modestly in the interim if I can't start working November 2nd. 

So generally, stress is a bit lower. And for whatever reason, I'm currently able to stick with a better way of eating. So that's good. It may be helping with inflammation, too, and reducing the aches and pains.

Things could change drastically once I'm employed going forward. So I'm going to take full advantage of how they are now.

Thursday

I am not yet willing to say that I'm on a downward trend, weight-wise, but this morning, I saw 155.6. Not sure I've seen that this year before - I got down below it last summer for a while, but it was pulling teeth to do it, and didn't stick. This time, I'm in "flow" with eating VLC - and to some extent, not just C for Carbs but C for Calories - and things seem to be working rather like they did 5 years ago. But I'm being vigilant this time, and working hard at avoiding the sugar, in particular.

Here's yesterday:
  • tea with cream
  • bacon
  • the usual supplements (back to 2000 IU of D3, since the cold seems to be ebbing away)
  • 1/2 cup of cashews
  • chef's salad with ham, chicken, cheese, blue cheese dressing
  • 2 pieces of Kerrygold
  • 1 piece of milk chocolate with almonds
Really short list. In addition, I did a late afternoon interview on nothing but bacon and cashews, both eaten several hours earlier, and had a lot of energy. So that's good.

After reading an email from the Bulletproof folks about earthing, I have made a couple of excursions to the lawn in my bare feet. No idea how long one is supposed to maintain contact for it to work, and I don't know if I would have felt worse without doing it. I did it Saturday morning, and again Monday and yesterday. On the latter two, my primary impression had to do with the quantity of acorns more than anything else - we have a big oak tree in the back yard. In general, the concept makes sense to me, but it could definitely just be a big dose of snake oil, too. Benign, though.

Sleep last night was patchy. I woke up sometime after 2 am, thinking it was 5, and put the radio on for what I thought would be an hour or so until the alarm went. When it started playing something that comes on at 3, I woke up enough to take a look at the clock again, and was surprised. And went back to sleep right away. I think I also had a leg cramp, but must say that they're REALLY not interrupting my sleep just now.

Making soup with grassfed beefstock this morning, in the crock pot. Sorry to say that the stock didn't gel, so I don't know how much dissolved collagen we got out of the bones. The fat cap on the refrigerated stock was crazy yellow, though, so they were good bones. And it smelled a bunch better than stock from conventionally-raised bones does. Much beefier. Not sure why. Anyway, that'll be dinner tonight, maybe with a small salad.