Tuesday, September 30, 2014


150.2 this morning - not too surprised. My weight generally goes up on Tuesdays, it seems. Not sure why.

Eating followed a fairly normal pattern - breakfast, a few macadamia nuts, dinner. I managed to limit evening eating to 4 salted chocolate almonds and a cup of tea with cream; I'm really hoping to have broken the nasty habit of mindless snacking after dinner. I hit 71% fat with fewer than 50 grams of carbs, and that's where I am back targeting. But I wonder if I really need to do the movement to keep things heading down. Maybe so.

Ketosis at bedtime was back to somewhere between Small and Moderate, and I slept quite well - woke once at 2:30ish and turned the mattress pad back on - I was actually too cold. Go figure.

No walk last night - we had a hailstorm. In late September. The only explanation is that I said, "Hey, let's go for a walk tonight" at breakfast time. We're going to try again tonight - so far, it's sunny out. If it's not, I vote for the gym.

Monday, September 29, 2014


Yesterday morning, I got up, went to the bathroom (TMI? sorry!), and stepped on the scale. Then I stepped off, waited for it to turn off, and tried again. Because I simply did not believe my eyes. It said 149.0. After being up to 155.8 last week, there's no way I was buying this. The second attempt agreed with the first, and I didn't feel like spending the morning trying to convince it to change, so I let it be.

This morning, same routine, after a day where I'd eaten more than on Saturday. I figured, even if yesterday was the truth, I'd be back in the 152 range - wine with dinner, heck - wild rice with dinner last night. And dessert. So today's reading? 149.4. To say I'm a bit gobsmacked is an understatement.

I spent the 3-plus-day weekend (starting at 3 pm on Thursday) getting fresh air and walks, sunning myself, sewing, and being alone. Exercise, sun, solitude, and creativity, just as planned. Do I feel less stressed than I did on Wednesday? I think so - the urge to bite someone and run screaming from the building has gone. That seems like a good thing, although I don't know how long it will last. Probably key here is that I need to find a way to keep the de-stress momentum that I've managed to start, and not get myself into the state I was in last week.

A few things come to mind, that should be pretty much a matter of nature - no planning involved. No houseguests. Nobody moving and needing our help. Few to no weekends involving work. But those are all fairly passive external things that will keep the stress from exceeding the threshhold. I can't control them. What I need is things I can do to maybe raise the event threshhold, by restoring the sane inner voice in the way I did this weekend, but in situations where I can't shut the world out for 3 days.

I think we need to walk more. Not for exercise, but for this purpose. It's the one thing that I can probably control that really seems to help. Friday, I set out on a short walk that ended up being over an hour long, and it was so relaxing. Can't do that every day - and with night drawing in and winter approaching, even the short walk may become a challenge, but I'm going to try to do it nearly every day, somehow. Get outside in the weather and walk. Breathe the air, smell the scents, listen to the non-machinery-made noises. I managed 3 walks in 4 days - didn't quite make it out yesterday - and I think it was critical.

I need to find some alone time. This hasn't been much of a problem in general, in the summer, at least, with Lee golfing. It will be an issue once that's not an option for him. Sewing is probably my best bet, or baths. Both of which I can do in the winter, no problem, and will. And normally, when I don't run up against houseguests, weekend work, and intense meeting weeks at work all in a short period, sewing or baths or reading in the den is plenty of time to recharge. I guess I just need to recognize when I might need the extra time because things have got bad for some reason, or are about to.

Useful 3 days, I'd say.


this is a test

Friday, September 26, 2014


When we last left our heroine…

It does seem to have been that sort of week, for sure. However, it's Friday, I'm taking a day off work, the dogs seem to have settled down a bit, and I lost something like 3 pounds yesterday.  152.6 this morning.

Suffice it to say that my stomach has been sub-par. It's getting better now.

Here's yesterday:
  • tea with cream
  • cheese
  • one cranberry-pecan-pumpkin muffin
  • more cheese (5 total pieces)
  • a large ground bison burger (about 1/3 pound)
  • spaghetti squash with browned butter and "mizithra" cheese
  • a bag of Frollicks cheese crisps
  • 5 chocolate pringles-shaped things from TJs
The "mizithra" was actually ricotta salata, and I have to say that the whole thing was so good I literally drank the leftover browned butter out of the bowl, after mopping up as much as I could with the burger. I managed, for once, to go all evening without doing the mindless snacking, too. And I got a walk in.

Eating yesterday was 76% fat and 30g carbs (6% total), much better than the day before.

What else? Sleep wasn't great - I let the dogs sleep on the bed because they've had a rough week, and they take up about 4/5ths of the area. I don't feel too bad, though. Ketones at solid Trace last night. One good thing about the sleep was that it took me about 12 seconds to fall asleep after I turned the light out.

Plans for the weekend include a walk each day - starting as soon as I press "Send" on this - and outdoor time, probably reading in the chaise. Maybe some sewing. So, a little exercise, sunlight, solitude, and creativity. If I can achieve 3 days of that, I should be in much better shape come Monday.

Thursday, September 25, 2014


I thought about skipping posting this morning, but that would be cowardly.

155.8, the scale says. Up TWO POUNDS from this time last week, which was up from the week before.

Should I mention that I'm not currently having hot flashes? Would that help? It doesn't help me.

Here's yesterday's eating:
  • tea with cream
  • two sausage patties
  • a multivitamin
  • one pumpkin-cranberry-pecan-coconut flour muffin
  • about 1/4 cup macadamia nuts
  • 3 soft corn tortilla tacos with ground beef, veg, and cheese
  • ice tea
  • 4 salted dark chocolate almonds
  • 1 finger of scotch
  • 3 pieces of cheese
That was IT. 67% fat, 61 grams of carbs. Trace ketosis at bedtime, even. And considering the day we had yesterday, I think I did admirably. Furthermore, I can probably pull up a dozen or more blog entries right here where a similar day's eating led to significant weight lost. 

However, yesterday was signally bad for stress - the worst this week so far. On the way to work, I followed other cars swerving to avoid something, only to realize that the something was an injured cat - apparently it had been hit just before we got there and definitely still alive. I know I'm strung pretty tightly when something like that really upsets me - and it had me in tears most of the way to work (we did manage to get hold of someone at the sheriff's office, and by the time I got to work (an hour and a bit later), I heard that the cat had been taken away somewhere. 

But that wasn't the worst of it. One of our dogs hadn't been feeling well, and we got word in the afternoon that she has become diabetic. Requiring twice-daily insulin shots and a structured lifestyle with monitoring of her blood sugar. Meaning that I am no longer going on a road trip this afternoon, because Lee can drive a trailer and I mostly can't, so I'm elected the dog nurse.

Personally, I think the Scotch was fully justified.

Anyway, since I'm no longer going away this weekend, I am going to try to do a bit of battery recharge here. Get the eating under control. Get some sunlight and a few walks in. Spend time alone - with the constant meetings at work last week and this, and having to work last weekend, I'm down to one smoking nerve, and need to crawl into a cave for as long as I can manage. I already have tomorrow off, and I'm keeping it off. And I may just spend most of it sitting in the chaise on the front patio, watching the leaves turn, or something.

Wednesday, September 24, 2014


155.4. It just keeps getting worse. I had to drive home, talking to myself over a low background of classical music, and was discombobulated and surly once I got home. The past month or so has been pretty bad, what with multiple projects at work, getting Biz off on her move, and now, getting the car back to her. Will it calm down soon? Not the work stuff, that I can see. Certainly not the commute - it gets worse by the hour, or so it seems.

At this point, with everything that's going on, I am going to plan on getting back on the keto horse on Monday. We won't be stopping for meals on the road, I think, or only briefly, and while I won't just eat the SAD, obviously, nor will I be in a position to eat clean. I'll try not to lose the adaptation I have, such as it is, but beyond that, no unnatural efforts.

Sleep last night was good, surprisingly. I roused briefly at 4:20, and woke for good because the alarm went off. Been quite a while since it actually woke me up.

Tuesday, September 23, 2014


154.2. Stressful day yesterday - I got home with a raging headache, my shoulders around my ears. Today is not looking likely to be as good, even. I think I need to get a handle on this before anything else calms down. Damn it.

Monday, September 22, 2014


Still struggling with getting my discipline back; ate dried strawberries all weekend, along with "paleo" baked goods, which are never that low-carb. 153.4 this morning; I saw lower numbers over the weekend, but never for long. Also, we ate Mexican food on Saturday, ostensibly to help Lee's allergies (didn't work - what he has is pinkeye and I hope he really goes to the doctor for it instead of whining), and flourless chocolate cake with raspberry sauce last night (I made it; can't really blame that one on anybody).

I did manage to get a little exercise yesterday - walked to the grocery store (a bit over a mile, round trip) for eggs to make the "paleo" baked goods with. Almost made it to 5000 steps yesterday - and nearly got out of bed at 10 to walk the 18 steps I was short, but managed to remain sane. Sleep was okayish, although I woke up at 3:30 and didn't really go back to sleep.

I don't think I will list yesterday's eating. What I notice is, at the moment, I'm doing a lot of stress-nibbling; I want to be chewing a lot, and that leads to the strawberries and cashews, and if my resistance is really low, potato chips. Life is a bit topsy-turvy just now, so that could be the source of the issue.

I would like this not to be a constant fight, but this time around, it very much has been. Six pounds lost (sometimes more, sometimes less), took something like 3 months, and has been wretchedly difficult. 

I'm not giving up. This week is going to be un-good, since we're road-tripping starting Thursday night, but I'm going to give it my best, anyway.

Friday, September 19, 2014


153.8 again. At least it isn't an increase, I guess. Here's yesterday:
  • tea with cream
  • the usual supplements
  • scrambled eggs
  • 2 slices of bacon
  • about 25 cherry tomatoes (they were getting the jump on us)
  • the last of the macadamias - maybe 5 whole ones' worth
  • beef vegetable soup, made with home grown veg (carrots and green beans) and bone broth
  • about 6 tortilla chips
  • 5 salted chocolate almonds
  • 2 or 3 pieces of kerrygold cheese - I think 2, but not sure
That was it. The soup was wonderful, considering I assembled it in the dark at 5:30 am from stuff I cut up the night before. Good stock is important, it turns out.

My ankles have been swollen - and actually, yesterday morning, my feet were swollen putting them into my shoes. I guess the water weight is moving around - I feel somewhat less PMS-y than I did last week, which is all good. And, for the moment, I'm not having hot flashes. Will that last? I'd love to think so, but not putting money on it.

Let's see, what else? No walk last night - I was tired when I got home, and we spent some time visiting my parents. Small ketosis at bedtime. Sleep was fine once I got there - it took about an hour to settle down into it and required some WWII news to knock me out. I woke briefly when the dogs got whiny around 2 am, but got back to sleep, and didn't stir again until about 5, I think. Don't recall dreaming, and I feel relatively rested this morning.

Maybe it doesn't seem like progress, but I think it is. Back to it.

Thursday, September 18, 2014


153.8. Whoop-de-doo. So annoying. To top it off, I'm fighting cravings (and losing, at least yesterday), and my sleep was not so great last night.

Can we stop with the effing menopause already? It sucks.

Here's yesterday:
  • tea with cream
  • scrambled eggs
  • 2 slices of bacon
  • the usual supplements
  • about 6 macadamia nuts
  • a vending bag of M&Ms
  • 3 pieces of kerrygold cheese
  • about a cup of cherry tomatoes
  • a slice of buttered almond-flour bread
  • 4 salted dark chocolate almonds
  • 1/2 cup of cashews
Lots of salt in there, and yet I had a leg cramp that launched me out of bed at 2 am, and woke me so thoroughly that I was working on a third half-hour episode of old radio before I fell back asleep. Rough.

Ketones between Negative and Trace, and no wonder - I put most of it into the log to see how the day went, and am way over on my carbs and under on the fat. Ugh.

Keep trying. Vegetable beef soup tonight, with homemade bone broth, home-grown carrots and beans. Nutritious, if nothing else. And I have a boatload more cherry tomatoes with me.

Wednesday, September 17, 2014


Frustration is such a destructive emotion. I'm tired of fighting my physiology right now - especially as it seems to be winning. I'm quite aware that I'm having oddball hormones since some time last week, so I'm trying hard not to quit the fight, but when you get up feeling pretty good and find that you've gained nearly 2 pounds overnight (4 since Saturday morning), it's dispiriting, to say the least.

154.4 this morning. My ankles are not swollen, my fingers are not swollen. My back, which hurt like billy-o yesterday, does not hurt. I slept well. And I don't think I ate that much yesterday. So please explain where it came from!

Here's yesterday:
  • tea with cream
  • the usual supplements
  • scrambled eggs
  • bacon
  • strawberries (about a pound, I think)
  • macadamias - half the usual amount
  • 2 brats
  • sauerkraut
  • tomato slices
  • potato chips - far fewer than yesterday, maybe totaling a handful.
  • 4 salted chocolate almonds
  • 1/2 cup cashews
Longer list than usual; I haven't had a chance to log it all, so I don't know the fat percentage. I was showing more than Small ketones at bedtime, too. So of course I gained weight. Sleep was a little broken up, but I was able to get right back to it each time, and had lots of vivid dreams. I feel rested again this morning - so much better than last week.

This week hasn't been conducive to resuming our routine - we had to go to the Apple store for Lee's phone (it went all dead) last night, so no walking, and the massage screwed with Monday night's routine. Tonight, it's just me. I am not making plans at this point, although I'll probably have a big-ass salad for dinner.

Tuesday, September 16, 2014


Didn't eat brats yesterday, or get a walk in - I went and had a massage instead, after a quick salad at Chik-Fil-A. The twinge in my lower back from last week's stupid table lifting got worse, so I had it worked on. It's better, although not fixed, quite. 

I ate mostly well - until sundown. After we got home from the massage, I was still hungry, and wanted salt. So I grabbed the bag of potato chips and brought it into the living room with me. Big mistake. I did not finish it, I'm glad to say, but I ate a lot of them. One at a time, savoring every bite. They were delicious. Should I have done it? Maybe not. It seems not to have caused any gain, at least. 152.6 again this morning.

Here's yesterday:
  • tea with cream
  • the usual supplements
  • scrambled eggs
  • bacon
  • macadamia nuts - about 1/3 cup
  • a piece of cheese
  • Chik-Fil-A salad with fruit, chicken, and ranch dressing
  • potato chips
  • 4 salted dark chocolate almonds
With that, my ketones were Small at bedtime - was I eliminating unnecessary ones because of the bolus of starch? Don't know.

Sleep was pretty good - a brief wakeup around 2:30 am and awake for good at 5:00. I fell asleep without audio assistance - something I've been trying to wean myself from recently (also without melatonin, ditto). It's getting darker earlier and lasting a lot longer - whether that is affecting it or not, I don't know. I'm quite certain that the cooler temperatures are helping a lot.

Monday, September 15, 2014


Okay, back to it. The chaos and time-out are over. My baseline weight is 152.6, and my goal is 145. 7.6 pounds to lose. In an ideal world, 1 pound per week, and I'd be there in 2 months. In my world (aka menopause-world), it could take a year.

All that said, I saw 151.4 on Saturday, and was up at 153.2 yesterday. Lotsa water going on, and not just in my feet. It feels very hormonal.

Here's yesterday, as best I can remember:
  • tea with cream
  • strawberries
  • bacon (4 pieces)
  • cheese (8 pieces throughout the day, I think)
  • 2 slices of almond-flour bread, one with butter
  • 4 meatballs with spaghetti sauce and mozzarella and parmesan cheese
  • 4 salted dark chocolate almonds
I think that was it; I spent the day puttering madly, and didn't sit down all that much (or if I did, I got back up again). Made spaghetti sauce and meatballs, both in quantities to freeze beyond dinner last night. Blanched and froze green beans. Made almond-flour bread (ostensibly for Lee, but note that I had some). Cooked up the dogs' ground beef. Went through my closet looking for things that don't fit, and didn't find any (surprising, actually, because I didn't think this weight loss had been that effective and I was all bloated and nasty yesterday to boot). It didn't add up to anything near my FuelPoints goal, but I felt productive.

Trace ketosis at bedtime. I slept pretty well - a brief wakeful period around 2:30 and dreams that I recall having, although the content didn't persist. I'll take it - big improvement from last week!

And back to our routine now - eggs and bacon for breakfast, macadamia nuts if I get all starving during the day, and brats and kraut for dinner. Maybe a walk, or maybe errands tonight. And, as things tend to have been going, I will have gained weight tomorrow. Sigh.

Friday, September 12, 2014


It may have been inadvisable to take 3 magnesium caplets in less than 12 hours.  I took the first 2 Wednesday night, partly to help with sleep (which worked), and partly to help with constipation (worked, but not by breakfast time on Thursday), and the third one Thursday morning, to give a boost to the constipation thing. And that did work, finally - I lost a pound yesterday, probably all from that mechanism. Which is still operating.

However, I had an interesting side-effect of the latter; by bedtime, my calves were dancing - full-on cramps while I was still awake and up. Seems that I got rid of all the magnesium in the course of losing that pound. So, bedtime last night, I took another one. It helped, but did not completely eliminate the cramping, and when I woke up for an hour or so around 2:00, I could tell I needed to be very careful in how I positioned my feet.

Rebound effect, I guess, or something of that sort. Interesting. I probably need to get some extra salt today.

So, 152.2 this morning. Here's yesterday:
  • tea with cream
  • the usual supplements
  • scrambled eggs
  • turkey sausage (2 links)
  • a Jimmy John's unwich with turkey, bacon, cheese, tomatoes, mayo and mustard
  • Soup with leftover pork tenderloin, green chile, chicken stock, and tomatoes (spur of the moment recipe, and quite tasty)
  • 2 pieces of cheese
  • 8-9 salted dark chocolate almonds
  • 1/3 cup cashews
Since this has been "get over the chaos" week, I haven't been tracking anything, but Ketosis was back at Trace last night, down from Medium the night before.

No walking yesterday - it was drizzly and cold last night and we had shopping to do. It is still drizzly and cold this morning - we are promised that it will be warmer this weekend, but I'm not very hopeful.

Eggs and bacon this morning, and stuffed peppers for dinner (no rice). Next week, we will be concentrating on a lot of eating at home, to get back on track. And if the weather is ucky, we'll have to resume our gym trips.

Thursday, September 11, 2014


Finally - we can get back to "normal" for a while. I hope, anyway. We ate out for both breakfast and dinner yesterday; I hit Medium ketosis at bedtime, so I guess I behaved myself, but no change in weight - 153.2 again today. And a gut full of, well, what a gut fills with. I took extra Magnesium at bedtime last night and another one this morning and am hoping to get that sorted soon.

Here's yesterday:
  • tea with cream
  • no supplements
  • scrambled eggs
  • 6 pieces of bacon (Denny's)
  • macadamias - probably 1/4 cup
  • chips and guacamole
  • salad with blue cheese dressing
  • elk chops with huckleberry sauce
  • a few potatoes sauteed with peppers and onions (also cooled, so maybe some RS?)
  • part of Lee's bison sirloin
  • about 1/2 of a half ear of corn on the cob - didn't eat all of it
Meaty! Had I desired, I could have had bison bone marrow or tongue as an appetizer as well - my excuse was that both came with toast to be put on. Lame, I know; I should have done one of them.

Dinner ran from 6:30 to about 8:00, and we got home, got the dogs a little exercise (i.e., let them wander the house a bit), and crashed. In addition to my 2 magnesium, I took a Benadryl, just to make sure I would sleep (the Mg helps with this as well), and it worked - I did have to listen to the radio a bit to fall asleep, but after that, roused briefly between 4 and 5, and woke for real at 5:25. I so needed that sleep.

Eggs and turkey sausage for breakfast today, and we are planning on salad and a walk tonight, weather permitting. It is threatening snow, although I think that's for tomorrow. Even if it's raining, but not terribly hard, I think I will strap on something waterproof and go out. My hip is still sore, and I think movement would help it - just so far this week, movement has not been an option.

Wednesday, September 10, 2014


I ate nothing but macadamia nuts, a piece of cheese, and Mongolian BBQ (on cabbage, furthermore) yesterday. Drank a cup of tea with cream. That was it.

So why - why??? - did I gain another 0.2 pounds? That's barely enough food to keep a mosquito alive (perhaps why they don't bite me).

Very stressy overnight; I slept maybe 2 hours all told, in half-hour chunks. Not good. My stomach is a mess this morning (probably where that extra weight is), and I am running on RedBull. But the offspring has hit the road east with all her worldly possessions and her lunatic dog, so we are officially empty-nesters again (not like she was living with us, but the dog was, more or less, and we continued to be the laundry center). Now to get back into a routine.

I'm making lists of dinners to be cooked, with the intent of planning out a week's worth every weekend and hoping to make 5 of the 7 on the list. With that, and being able to get walks in again (weather permitting, though - it's threatening to SNOW here on Friday morning, which is irritating in the extreme!), I hope to get things back under control and heading below 150.

153.2 this morning. Ketones were up to Small last night at bedtime. Eggs and bacon this morning, and some sort of wild game for dinner, probably. And then sleep, to ..."knit up the raveled sleave of care", as Shakespeare put it. My "sleaves" are very raveled just now.

Tuesday, September 9, 2014


In a sense, I will be tremendously relieved when Elizabeth departs for Pennsylvania tomorrow morning. Not that I won't miss her, not that I won't continue to think it's very weird that she's moving there at all, but the chaos of the moving activity, along with the dining out and what-not, are doing me in. It's been not-normal at home ever since we got back from South Dakota, and I'm eating utter crap these days.

153.0 this morning; I'm not surprised much. Stress and eating out a lot - not good things. I'm hoping after tomorrow night (my parents are insisting that we dine out to console me at her leaving and because it's my birthday, so I'm going along with it because explanations are too damn hard - oh look, more stress!), we can basically cocoon for a while - eat at home, get walks in either outdoors or at the gym, settle back into a routine.

Here's yesterday:
  • tea with cream
  • the usual supplements
  • scrambled eggs
  • bacon
  • macadamia nuts
  • a salad with commercial ranch dressing and some cheese
  • pork roast 
  • tomato slices
  • Southern-style green beans
  • 4 salted chocolate almonds
  • 2 pieces of Kerrygold cheese
  • a third-cup of cashews
I started logging the day but did not finish, so I don't know how it broke down. Probably okayish. Trace ketosis at bedtime. Sleep was adequate - I woke up the first time at 11 pm, which wasn't great, but have found a new soundtrack to soothe me back to sleep which seems to be working pretty well, so I slept the rest of the night - somewhat fitfully, but better than over the weekend. My sore hip is better - whatever I did is like sleeping funny on a shoulder, and I have a knot on the back of my hipbone that is slowly easing up.

I read something yesterday (I think) that has almost convinced me to make sure I'm getting plant fiber in my diet for the intestinal fauna - apparently, keeping them happy and well-fed is crucial to one's immune system. I will not repeat the resistant starch experiment, but I will try to get plants into every day's eating in some way - side salads are probably the easiest way to do that.

Monday, September 8, 2014


Ow. Also, ow! 

I moved a piece of furniture in our living room about a foot yesterday morning, and tweaked something in my right hip/lower back. Not entirely sure which; both hurt. Unfortunately, I had to spend much of the day on my feet in some fashion - helping Elizabeth pack out her apartment, and also cooking dinner for a crowd.

It probably kept me from seizing up completely. But I'm waiting for a bolus of Advil to kick in, and it's taking it's time about it. I have definitely felt better.

On the good news side, last night was the first night I had a full night's sleep in over a week. I suppose one could draw some conclusions from that, but I won't.

I didn't log yesterday's eating but it went like this:
  • tea with cream
  • no supplements
  • scrambled eggs
  • 6 strips of bacon
  • a Dove brand mint chocolate about 1" square
  • 1/2 pound of smoked turkey with mustard BBQ sauce
  • a smallish handful of potato chips
  • a diet (not zero) Red Bull
  • a skewer of steak and small yellow potatoes - I think I ate about 2-1/2 of the latter
  • salad with blue cheese dressing
  • brussels sprouts with cranberries and pecans and gorgonzola
  • Thomas Jefferson's vanilla ice cream over peaches - about 2/3 cup of the former over roughly the equivalent of the latter, cut up
  • a bottle of hard cider
Trace ketosis at bedtime, and I would say we worked off the food.  I do think some of my current weight is swelling from the exercise and injury, and maybe some of it is related to some ongoing stomach distress I've been having this week.

We have Elizabeth for 2 more days - they leave for the East on Wednesday morning.  After that, things should quiet down at our house, and I'm hoping to get back into a routine.

Friday, September 5, 2014


I feel wretched. Bloated, uncomfortable, all sorts of nasty. And underslept - I got to sleep in the first place last night, which was a nice change from the night before, but woke up at 1 and was still awake at 3:17 for sure, possibly later. 

Anyway, I think I'm reacting to the gyro meat the other night. Because yesterday was seriously normal eating. And I did lose 0.2 pounds - down to 152.8 again. Yesterday played out to:
  • Fat - 123 g - 70%
  • Carbs - 49.6 g - 13%
  • Protein - 68.5 g - 17%
Ketosis at bedtime was at Trace. With one thing and another (including lack of sleep), I didn't get any walking in, either. And it's raining this morning, with no change forecast all day, I think. Blecch.

I honestly don't know if I should blame my malaise on menopause or stress or what - maybe both? 

Here's hoping life settles down soon - maybe next week...

Thursday, September 4, 2014


Suffice it to say that I slept extremely poorly last night and woke up weighing 153 pounds. I do not know why (cough-hormones-cough). I am running on pure RedBull today.

Had a lingering stomach-ache from dinnertime until this morning; now I have a mild headache. We ate gyro meat last night; I know it is basically re-grilled meatloaf now and has a panade that is almost certainly wheat-based, but I don't normally react like this to it.  The day broke down like this:
  • 115 g fat - 76%
  • 28 g carbs - 8%
  • 53 g protein - 16%
We walked to and from dinner, and I got my 5000+ steps in, at least - almost hit my FuelBand goal, but not quite. Bedtime ketones were at Trace.

I know my motivation has flagged a bit since we got back from vacation. I need to get it back. Not sure how, though.

Wednesday, September 3, 2014


I am a bit discouraged. Not because, despite my efforts, I am failing to lose weight, mind you. Rather that I'm having trouble focusing my efforts, and for the past 3-4 days have been sabotaging the hell out of myself. As in yesterday. Here's the eating, since I'm a bit sick of logging it (another bit of sabotage):
  • tea with cream
  • the usual supplements
  • 2 pieces of cheese
  • roughly 10 macadamia nuts
  • chips and salsa (and I did not restrain myself; I was starving)
  • 2 cheese enchiladas with green chile
  • 4 salted dark chocolate almonds (I need a shorthand way to refer to these)
  • a package of Frollicks (baked cheese thingies)
Obviously, not a salad for dinner. Less obviously, we didn't go for a walk, unless you count Costco. 

In my defense, Elizabeth is now on her last week here before moving to Pennsylvania and we are getting as much time with her as we can before she leaves, and she is trying to top up her Mexican food tanks, since PA is not exactly the desert southwest. But I didn't have to do a pig-out on the chips.

151.8 this morning, and not a surprise. No water to account for it - at least, my ankles are not obviously swollen. I was at Trace ketosis last night, and slept well - the 50-degree nights are helping me immensely. Woke up briefly at 3:40, and then at 5:25. I will so take that.

Eggs and bacon for breakfast this morning, so a better start. I intend to get back on track, but I think I will take things a little easy this last week. Because I don't see it being a good eating week going in. Do the best I can, and stop beating myself up. I just do wish it weren't so incredibly hard this time - I'm fighting my body every step of the way, and my family wanting enchiladas is not helping, because I love them (both).

Tuesday, September 2, 2014


Oh, yippee - one of those confusing weeks. I nearly wrote "Monday" in the subject line because it's the first workday of the week. With luck, that means I'll be delightfully surprised on Friday when I realize that it isn't Thursday after all. Probably not, though. Never works that way.

Ah, well. After a weekend (the original 2-day version) that wasn't one of my most stellar eating successes and included hardly any walking, I managed to get rid of the vacation weight. I don't really know why, but after a large cup (really a pint) of tea, I weighed 150.8 yesterday. Glad to see the extra wasn't so hard to get rid of, and I really wish the scale's new batteries had warmed up fast enough that I could have tried without the tea.  On the other hand, since I was at 151.0 this morning, after a third day of eating somewhat crappy, maybe it's just as well.

I didn't log my eating yesterday. I think I did okay until around 2, with nothing much to eat but tea/cream and a couple of pieces of cheese. It was at 2 that I recalled the box of stale Junior mints from a movie trip quite a while back - and ate them. I don't know how many there were; it wasn't the entire box, and maybe not an entire portion, but they did some rather interesting things. Blew my blood sugar high enough to prompt a pretty energetic surge of insulin, which then had me a bit shaky on returning from a quick walk. Eating as I do, it's been a long time since I had low blood sugar. Nasty! I ate dinner (steak and really good green beans with ham and tomatoes), then some cheese, and then I felt snacky - a strong urge to sit around and mindlessly pop small crunchy things into my mouth and chew them. So I ate cashews from the package until they made me feel sick.

Perhaps I should feel very grateful that I only hit 151.0 this morning.

Sleep was okay Friday night, utter crap Saturday night, and fine the last two nights. As a result of Saturday night, I spent Sunday doing a lot of intense sitting around, and even fell asleep reading my iPad that evening. Yesterday, I spent an hour sitting out on the chaise on the patio to get some very nice sun - no burn, just warm and delightful. Whether that helped with sleep or not, I don't know, but I woke at 3:20 and was able to get right back to sleep, as I also did at 4:15 (written out like this, it doesn't seem "fine" at all, but it was - and I feel rested this morning). I have stopped taking melatonin for a while, because it didn't seem to be helping, especially with the 1:45 am wakeup. In fact, it seemed to be causing the 1:45 am wakeup.

Didn't feel like getting up at all this morning, mostly because I really didn't want to go back to work, so we stayed in bed an extra 15 minutes and I had 2 pieces of cheese. I will see how things go, but hope to avoid eating again until dinner. Which is planned to be a walk and salad. We plan that a lot, and don't always achieve it. But maybe today.