Thursday, May 31, 2012

Thursday

And still waiting.  150.0 this morning, so whatever it is is going away, but not eagerly.  Dinner last night was out again - friends in town - so the basic burger-and-salad meal got pushed to tonight.  I hope nothing intervenes.

I'm still feeling inflammed - joints sore, things of that sort - and can tell that there's water left to lose.  I don't know if it's the aftermath of the race, or if it has to do with that flour tortilla I ate Monday after it, but will be glad when it settles down a bit.

Here's yesterday:
  • scrambled eggs
  • bacon
  • tea with cream
  • the usual supplements
  • cheese
  • 5 Godiva pearls - we finally found some more refills
  • beef and chicken teriyaki
  • carrots and broccoli
  • a little rice (less than 1/4 cup)
  • walnuts (multiple handfuls)
  • cheese (I was starving once we got home - dinner was nice, but I could have eaten it twice over, even at the restaurant)
Not much else to report.  Sleep is reasonable, the hot flashes have been moderated - not gone altogether, but they no longer make me feel ill, and are fewer - so life is starting to settle down again.  I do think I'll take some Advil, though - it could help with the joints and maybe with shedding some of the water.

Wednesday, May 30, 2012

Wednesday

The water, she refuses to leave.  By quittin' time, my feet were starting to resemble an inflated surgical glove, pushing hard against my shoes.  Nowhere near the graduation cruise set of cankles I developed a couple of years ago, but uncomfortable.  This morning, I find that a redistribution has occurred, but shoes are still mildly tight, and my weight has not shifted much: 150.4. 

As seems to be normal for me, I got a bit stiffer throughout the day yesterday and overnight.  Not nearly the post-race stiffness of days past, though, so I'm quite functional.  My shoulders, which seemed quite happy for the entire 6.2 miles, unlike on some earlier walks, got a bit tight last night, making sleep, well, less than restful, since I sleep on my side, and last night, I didn't have one that wasn't painful.

Here's yesterday:
  • strawberries and cream
  • bacon
  • cheese
  • chips (way too many) and salsa and guacamole
  • carne guisada - a dish of beef cut small and cooked with peppers and tomatoes
  • a medium-sized margarita
  • odds and ends of black beans and rice - probably less than a tablespoonful in toto
That was it.  We got home from dinner around 8:30 and fell into bed - obviously, we ate out.  I'm sure dinner didn't help solve my water-retention issues.  Tonight we're going for something a bit simpler, and home-cooked.

Tuesday, May 29, 2012

Tuesday

Let's start with the weight: 150.6 this morning.  Lots of water, working on what I hope is hormetic inflammation from yesterday. 

Did the Bolder Boulder 10K in 1:41:17, a pace that included one sub-16 minute split (not sure where the hyphen properly goes in that phrase), and allowed us to talk.  I even tried to sing at one point - it was too fast to sing.  We finished up running the stadium, just because, and it felt great!  It was a "who are you and what have you done with me?" moment, really, because I have never enjoyed running, and I loved it.  Had enough energy at the end to do the whole thing again, although the outside edges of both heels were sore, and my left ankle was a bit stiff. The Vibrams worked perfectly, and I credit them with a lot of my lack-of-soreness, since for once, my body was aligned as it was built to be.

So, normally, after any sort of road race, I get up the next morning unable to move.  Shoot, I often spend the rest of the day of the race neck-deep in hot water trying to make various bits work again.  Today?  Almost nothing.  A few minor aches in my toes, interestingly enough, and that's about it.  My face is a bit sun/wind-burnt (not sure which) and that is actually the most uncomfortable spot on my body.  I should admit that I did have a bath with a bunch of Epsom Salts in, but that was more about getting warm than about pain relief.

Now, all that said, I am fairly sure that prior attempts at that race had baseline splits at the 15-minute pace and hot splits closer to 12-13, so by no means did I "leave it on the track" this time.  Would I want to?  At the moment, I'm thinking not.  I am 50, after all.  Don't feel it, though.

Okay, so on to yesterday's eating, if I can recall it - it was a bit disorganized.
  • fat bomb smoothie (included the whole can of coconut milk and no water, and 2 scoops of protein powder - perfect race fuel)
  • the usual supplements, with extra anti-inflammatories (fish oil, turmeric)
  • an orange
  • a Chik-Fil-A Caesar wrap, where I ate most of the tortilla because it was impossible to avoid without an explosion of cheese, chicken, and lettuce
  • Chik-Fil-A waffle fries with ketchup
  • chips and guacamole
  • some chocolate cherries at some point during the day
  • three slices of pepperoni pizza with cauliflower crust (more on that below)
  • Cold Stone Creamery ice cream with coconut and pineapple (the small size)
I think that was everything, but it feels like I ate more than that.  I do know that after the ice cream, I was too full to contemplate anything else, so that was the last item of the day.

As for the pizza - I saw someone on some Paleo site mention that they enjoyed a particular recipe for pizza with a cauliflower crust, and followed the link.  The recipe for the crust looked easy enough, and the comments indicated that while it wasn't a perfect substitute for a bread crust, it was pretty darn tasty.  Freaked the family out by threatening them with it, and made it last night on the "if you hate it, we'll go out and get something" plan.  First, it wasn't terrifically difficult to make, for which I was grateful, and second - it's pretty darn tasty!  I ate 3 pieces, and so did Lee, although he is admitting to only two.  We saved the leftovers, but I don't know if they will save well or not.  The nice thing is that the crust does absorb sauce a bit, so adding too much sauce doesn't turn the whole dish into soup.

Great weekend - just enough of all the proper weekend elements.  And a friend who did the BB yesterday is trying to convince me to do a half-marathon in August - and I'm seriously considering it.  I never wanted to do a full marathon, but I have wanted to do a half before, since it's just over two 10Ks.  And this one is all downhill.  So maybe.  And Elizabeth and I are thinking about some more 5Ks over the course of the summer, as well.  Fun!

Friday, May 25, 2012

Friday

I don't know why, but I spent yesterday morning feeling just awful.  Hollow-headachy would be the best description I could come up with.  The headache might be due to the new glasses - they are great, but a new prescription always takes a bit of adjustment, and getting used to my new world, the one where I can see forever but the details nearby are all muzzy, is probably not a one-hour exercise.  My body, feeling awful, thought I needed crunchy salty things, and sent me downstairs for potato chips.  I think they helped - seemed to at the time, anyway - but they left me with a soft-voiced nag of a hunger for the rest of the day.  Cheese wasn't enough, so I added more jerky.  Got home, and inhaled dinner.

And the aftermath of all that?  Another half-pound gone.  I'm down to 146.8.  I tend to think my recent gain was an adjustment to the introduction of soy estrogens, and now that I'm adjusted, it's going away - and may have been nothing but water.  Fine - but it's been kind of a fun week, with losing 3.4 pounds.  I'll certainly take it.

Breakdown from yesterday:
  • scrambled eggs
  • bacon
  • tea with cream
  • the usual supplements
  • potato chips
  • cheese
  • beef jerky
  • taco salad with 1/3 pound grassfed beef, avocados, sour cream, cheese, salsa, and salad stuff
  • walnuts
  • the last of the nasty batch of coconut bark (back to the higher cacao chocolate, at least in part)
Slept badly last night - could not get cool enough.  Flashed on and off all night, especially from 2-3 am.  Woke up with a nasty jaw-clenching headache, so I've had 3 Advil this morning and am waiting to see if I need to add another handful or so.  I don't get this sort of thing often, and I am functional, but I don't enjoy it much.  I'm having flashes this morning more than I have in a while - did yesterday afternoon, as well.  I wish I could say if the Estroven is helping or not - but I can't, really.  It may be, although I shudder to think that things could be worse.

Memorial day weekend starts tonight.  Lots of outdoor time, if the wind permits - we're supposed to be getting 60 MPH gusts all day tomorrow for somebody else's storm.  Yecch - although I guess the sheets will dry quickly in that case.  I think we'll be able to start eating the mesclun this weekend, and I'm planning on cooking a good bit, although I'm not sure what specific items might result - maybe a carne asada flank steak, for one, since we have 2 more avocados to eat, and that would go great with guacamole.

Oh, and Monday - we'll be doing our Bolder Boulder 10K.  It looks like the weather will be good for it, so I'm looking forward (if rain were forecast, my enthusiasm would be, well, damped).  Should be walking like the alien in the badly-fitting Edgar suit come Tuesday - but if recovery follows all other post-Paleo athletic patterns, only for part of the day. 

Thursday, May 24, 2012

Thursday

Um.  Inspiration feeling a bit dried up this morning, although I slept well enough last night, and am alert.  Focused, actually - very focused.  Got new glasses on the way home from work last night, and they are fabulous at crisping up the distance.  Close up, they're reminding me that I'm 50, just a bit.  The optometrist recommended I keep my old glasses for close work, or just remove them. 

Ate fairly well yesterday - we finally did the pork chops, and I must say a 50-50 mix of maple syrup and dijon mustard tastes way awesome on pork.  I will do that again and again and again.  Also made a quick pot of Southern-style green beans, and had some sliced avocado (we all did, even the dogs).  The scale is liking things at the moment - 147.2 this morning, so the nasty figure from Monday is expunged, well and truly.  Here's yesterday in detail:
  • strawberries and cream
  • cheese
  • bacon
  • tea with cream
  • the usual supplements
  • cheese
  • beef jerky
  • a very few Godiva pearls
  • pork chop as described above
  • Southern-style green beans
  • avocado with a bit of balsamic vinegar on
  • walnuts
  • strawberry ice cream
I was listening to an Econ Talk podcast about food this morning on the drive in, and the guest irritated me by first mischaracterizing the Paleo way of eating (fruits ok, veggies must be avoided - yeah, right.  and he pronounced it "pal" ee-o, with a short "a".), and then dismissing it.  He was sanctimoniously "more vegetarian" in order to avoid factory farmed beef.  Cows also produce climate-changing methane, didja know?  Ye Gods!  The host, who has been eating either Paleo or low-carb since a chat with Taubes a while back, was exceedingly patient and polite.  And if you could get over the guest's attitude of "Mexican food supply chain results in tastier food than in America, and I've never been food-poisoned there, so America kinda-sorta sucks," it was pretty interesting.  Said guest also thinks that any restriction of one's intake options at all will result in weight loss - limit choice, the person gets bored, and eats less.  It would be interesting to throw him and Guyenet in a room to discuss a diet consisting solely of the crap in vending machines; I think they'd see things differently.

I am happy to report that my recovery from the walk of the other day was completed by noon or so yesterday - at least, I didn't notice any residual stiffness after that point, and the aches of Tuesday night did not interfere with sleep last night.  All good, I'd say.

Wednesday, May 23, 2012

Wednesday

Elizabeth and I went for what seemed to be a very long walk before dinner last night, but according to her Nike thingie for the iPhone, it was only 3.1 miles.  We took it at a pretty good clip - fast enough to make talking a bit breathy, but not so fast we couldn't talk.  I didn't ask her what our pace was, because when we got into the house, I thought we might have taken 55 minutes, which would have been dog-slow, and that didn't seem correct.  Whatever.  The 10K is on Monday; I probably won't have another longish walk between now and then.  A bit stiff this morning, but bearable.  Made for rough sleeping overnight, though.

The nice thing about the walk is that it allowed me to have french fries with dinner.  I worked for those carbs, so I had them.  And they were good - especially the ones that had been soaking in the juices from my burger.  The scale approved - 148.4 this morning.  Lots of water gone overnight - we'll just say I was up at 4 am when I would have preferred not to be.

Here's yesterday's breakdown:
  • scrambled eggs (the backyard chickens are back, thank goodness.  Commercial eggs are so bland as to be tasteless by comparison)
  • bacon
  • tomato slices
  • tea with cream
  • the usual supplements
  • cheese
  • beef jerky (eaten instead of cookies that were in a meeting room)
  • 1/3-pound burger with swiss cheese, ketchup, and mustard
  • fries with ketchup and beef juices
  • pickle spear
  • iced tea
  • more tea with cream
  • two chocolate cherries
Good eating. And a busy day.  After dinner (which was out), I came home and made salad dressing - thousand island and green goddess, the latter of which I had on a salad over the weekend and just loved.  I think the recipe I found made a pretty similar version, although I did keep the anchovy paste on the low side.  Our garden lettuce is about big enough to start eating this week, so I'm thinking a mesclun salad with lots of tomato and green goddess would be darn tasty with dinner.  Which, unless something intervenes (again!), should be pork chops with a maple-dijon glaze on them.

Tuesday, May 22, 2012

Tuesday

Survived the day yesterday, but it was painful.  Turns out that drinking two Red Bulls in two days to substitute for needed sleep was not all that effective.  I felt pretty much physically ill all day.  Bouillon helped a bit, so I had two of them.  Got home through nasty traffic that felt much like a personal insult - obviously, it wasn't, but I was tired enough to take it that way.  Got home, ate, read a bit, slept like the dead - good enough for more.

The scale was happier with me this morning - 149.2.  And going down, thank you very much.  We're all fooded out, more or less, and opting for simpler things for a while.  Here's yesterday in toto:
  • tea with cream
  • cheese
  • the usual supplements for Monday
  • bouillon (twice)
  • water (also helped with the general malaise)
  • more cheese
  • salad with ranch dressing
  • turkey breast (one of the cooked ones from the deli)
  • iced tea
  • walnuts
  • strawberry ice cream
And that was it.  It was plenty.  The Salade Nicoise is still in the future; we have pork chops for dinner tonight - after Elizabeth and I go for a walk, since Lee will be late.  Maybe some Southern-style green beans with them.

The munchies seem to have gone away, I'm happy to say.  That was weird; I had cravings for things I haven't eaten in years.  I'm assuming it was the phyto-estrogens from the soy in Estroven taking root.  If things stabilize, I would guess they won't recur.  But I will be watching for them.

Monday, May 21, 2012

Monday

On the whole, I would say that the Estroven is working.  I am much less distracted by thermal episodes this week than I have been in about a month, which is a very good thing.  It does not appear to be helping with maintaining my weight, although there are a number of factors that could be messing with that.  Scale said 150.4 this morning, which is not a number I mean to be seeing for long (and the change won't come from visiting higher numbers, either).

Semi-vacation weekend; about 2/3 of it in Santa Fe.  On the drive down, ate garbage (peanut M&Ms and salt-and-vinegar potato chips).  While there, ate less garbage, but still fairly carby.  On the drive back, ate an entire movie-sized bag of regular M&Ms and drank Red Bull to stay awake.  I will be paying for that, I'm sure.  I have felt better in my life than I do this morning.  Here's what I remember of yesterday's food:
  • omelet with ham, cheese, tomatoes
  • home-fried red-skin potatoes (don't think I ate all of them, but I might have)
  • bacon
  • tea with half-and-half (does no restaurant carry heavy cream for coffee/tea??)
  • the usual supplements
  • salad with apples, goat cheese, and green goddess dressing (good stuff, that)
  • turkey piccata (lemon/caper sauce, probably containing flour - but good)
  • mashed potatoes
  • haricots verts with garlic - sauteed with butter, I think
  • white wine
  • the aforementioned M&Ms
  • the aforementioned Red Bull
I licked my plate at dinner, all but.  It was very good stuff.  So yesterday was sort of a "could be worse" day.  Could have been better, as well.  But I think it's time to get serious and get somewhere between 7 and 9 pounds to disappear.  I'm thinking something along the lines of Salade Nicoise for dinner, and I believe the rest of the family will be good with that, as well.  Possibly a walk after (or before) dinner tonight - the Bolder Boulder is in a week, after all.

Started today out with a piece of cheese and another Red Bull - we got in at 1:30 this morning, so I'm running on 5 hours of sleep right now - good sleep, but good enough for a lot more.  I should add that the Red Bull is not working as well as coconut milk does - I thought about doing a smoothie this morning, but didn't want to take the time to make it.

Ah, well.  Onward and upward.  Get back to the healthier stuff - and focus on the healthiness of it.

Friday, May 18, 2012

Friday

It is - just - possible that the Estroven is giving me the carb munchies.  That would be a bad thing.  On the other hand, it does appear to be reducing the frequency of the hot flashes and improving my ability to stay asleep, which is undeniably a good thing.  Further, the estrogen - I'm assuming this would be true even of phyto-estrogen - should be available to help release fat from fat cells, if I can stay away from consuming alternate forms of bodily energy long enough.  Hard to say.  But I'm feeling better.

Yesterday's eating was a train wreck.  Here it is, in order:
  • strawberries
  • bacon
  • tea with cream
  • the usual supplements
  • cheese (this is still at breakfast, an effort to increase the fat content since we opted away from eggs)
  • strawberries (now we're at lunch - I had a 2-hour meeting in a room full of sandwiches and accompanying stuff)
  • pineapple chunks
  • potato chips - a more generous handful than I intended to grab
  • more potato chips - I went back for seconds
  • cheese (my stock for lunch)
  • more freaking potato chips (leftovers in the coffee area at work - not much left, thank goodness!)
  • possibly a Godiva pearl or two (had a second meeting in the same room, this time, with cookies present.  I managed not to have one)
  • chips and salsa (really?  really.  this is now at dinner)
  • two cheese enchiladas with green chile
  • more chips with the green chile left over
  • some of the rice
  • some of the beans
  • more than 3 pieces of bark, to cap the evening
Ye Gods.  When I went to bed, I had a stomach ache.  I deserved to.  And a scale this morning reading 149.6.  No surprise there.  Yes, I'm sure some of it is water.  Yes, I can make it go away again.  Yes, days like that are rare.  But wow.

Still trying to remember to take advil every 4-5 (waking) hours for my shoulder.  Not entirely successful yesterday because I didn't update the reminder on my phone.  So I need to do that today, because I do think it's helping.  I'm also absolutely positively going to look up the mobility WOD site and see what sorts of things I might do to improve in that area (probably also my knees and hips, while I'm at it).  And, with luck, I will be able to start doing some mild strengthening exercises on it soon, and avoid this sort of thing next year.  It's been a bloody nuisance, that's for sure.

Thursday, May 17, 2012

Thursday

To sleep; to dream.  If only.  Woke around 3 am and my brain got going on a proposed excursion this weekend to go look at a total solar eclipse (visible from the next state - what's a 7-hour drive home starting at 7 pm on a Sunday, if you get to see a total solar eclipse?  I'll tell you what - the inability to get up and go to work the next day for 2/3 of the family).  Anyway, my brain decided that my husband would have to be carefully protected from looking directly at the eclipse, in fear that he would burn his retinas and I would have to do the 7 hours worth of driving, since I'm one of the family members that needs to be at work the next day.  I arrived at the conclusion that the leather hole punch would make a suitable hole in cardboard for solar eclipse projection purposes - not too big, but not too small, either.  And, of course, I'll be consulting the internet to see what other safe methods exist.

So.  I lost about 45 minutes of sleep last night - could have been worse, I guess.  I'm a little tired. I will survive this.  Red Bull may be involved, but I will survive it.

148.4 this morning; here's yesterday:
  • scrambled eggs
  • bacon
  • tea with cream
  • the new usual supplements (although I looked at the Estroven container and have discontinued the multi - too much overlap there, I think)
  • cheese
  • chicken fajitas with guac and sour cream and cheese - no tortillas
  • french fries (Chili's apparently sprinkles them with something very addictive)
  • chocolate cherries
That was it.  After the fries, I expected an uptick in weight, but it looks like the overall intake wasn't that high.  And yesterday was oddly stressful, due to an absolute flood of text messages throughout the workday - my entire extended family had phones and thumbs free, apparently.  I would say that it's the sort of thing that never happens, except that, obviously, it just did.  I'm not big on instant messages of any sort - they are a constant interruption, and, conducted at a remove, lack the normal human communications cues that keep chaos away - so a day of them serves to make me all twitchy.  Blechh. I am hopeful that today will be better.

Wednesday, May 16, 2012

Wednesday

I cannot say that it was the Estroven - heaven knows I was suitable for heating a 10x10' room yesterday, at too many intervals - but I got purt-near a complete night's sleep last night.  Dropped off well before 10, woke once, enough to look and see that it was 1:44 am and fell right back asleep, without audio intervention, and the next thing I knew, it was 4:55.  Close enough.  I will take it.  We had the swamp cooler on, and the ceiling fan in the bedroom is on high and will stay there for the summer, I would guess, so that could have been it.  We shall see.  Maybe I'm just getting used to the new normal.

Scale said 148.8 this morning.  I'm really not fussed about it, although I probably should be - let me get two or three nights of quality sleep under my belt and I'll be able to look about a bit more.  Here's yesterday's eating:
  • scrambled eggs (the last, as I learned this morning, of the backyard chickens' eggs for a while)
  • bacon
  • tea with cream
  • the usual supplements, plus Estroven, plus a multi (seeing if that helps with some general tiredness stuff)
  • cheese
  • Godiva Pearls - more than 3, less than 20
  • beef jerky (boredom calling - and I avoided the trek downstairs for Skittles)
  • Chipotle bowl with barbacoa, salsa, sour cream, cheese, and guacamole - quite tasty
  • several pieces of the current batch of bark
  • more cheese
When I went to bed, I felt over-full.  I had the munchies yesterday.  Not sure why.  Elizabeth and I walked from home to the Chipotle and back - around 2 miles, round-trip, I think.  Then went shoe-shopping in the car, and finally got home just before 8, so I really needn't have snacked.  Whatever.

I am trying out a week of Advil at regular intervals, for my shoulder - see if I can get the inflammation to settle down enough for the muscles to relax.  I think I have a cycle going right now that might be breakable.  If that doesn't work, I'll have to see an actual doc, I guess, and start talking about PT or something.  That won't be convenient, but Mardi Gras is an annual event, and that's my throwing shoulder, so it needs to work and not be completely cratered by 3 hours of bead-flinging.  The lack of pain (the Advil works and works quickly) may also have helped with my sleep last night.  Or exhaustion - that's always helpful when pursuing quality sleep. 

The people in line at Chipotle - and it was a long line, for some reason - were fat, a majority of them, anyway.  And I'm sure they were all taking pains to eat low-fat stuff and avoid the sour cream and cheese, thinking it would at least slow things down.  Sad, really.

Tuesday, May 15, 2012

Tuesday

I bit the bullet, and bought some Estroven yesterday - it contains soy along with various other patent remedies for female complaints, as it were.  Took one last night and another this morning.  I tend to imagine that it will need to build up in my system for a week or so before things change - maybe longer.  I'll give it the box, although that's 60 days.  If it helps at all, the risks associated with consuming soy will have been worth it.

Had a crazy-busy, productive workday yesterday - I appreciate that after two years of empty boredom.  It also kept me from boredom eating, although I have tended to avoid that with this job anyway.  The scale approved - 148.2 this morning, so apparently a pound or so of water was wandering about yesterday.  Whatever.  Here's yesterday's eating:
  • scrambled eggs
  • bacon
  • tea with cream
  • the usual supplements for Monday
  • cheese
  • about 3 Godiva pearls (rationing them just now, we've used up all the refills)
  • a few chips with salsa and guacamole
  • 2-1/2 cheese enchiladas, smothered with green chile
  • a piece of bark
That was it.  We ran errands in the evening, and had my dad over to hide out from a social gathering of a club my mom belongs to, so there wasn't any mindless noshing.  Sleep was not great - I get about 3 hours before waking the first time, am able to get back to sleep easily then, but 2 hours later, have the wake-up that means it.  Finally fell back asleep after 4 am some time, and the alarm goes off at 5:30.  Around 3:30, I turned the ceiling fan up to max speed - and it is very effective at that speed, rather like a jet engine.  I need to remember to do that before bedtime, rather than in the middle of it.

Monday, May 14, 2012

Monday

Better sleep over the weekend - on Friday, I ate a bit of tofu (soy = phytoestrogens), and on Saturday, we both took an Advil PM and slept in until around 8:00.  Much needed, especially as last night I had the ongoing fight with the temperature all bloody night.  But with a couple of nights' sleep behind me, I feel much less like curling up and moaning quietly today.  I guess that's better.

Scale said 149.2 this morning.  Not good.  I ate a lot over the weekend, and we did brunch out yesterday at a place that had a lot of carby stuff in the easily-available food station.  Here's a rough rundown:
  • tea with cream
  • vegetable-enchilada casserole
  • roast potatoes
  • prime rib with horseradish sauce
  • chocolate-covered strawberries
  • bacon
  • sausage
  • salami
  • walnuts/coconut/chocolate (the end of last week's movie-popcorn-substitute)
  • cheese
  • chocolate cherries
  • zucchini (used as noodles for spaghetti sauce)
  • meatballs
  • spaghetti sauce
  • cheese
  • almond-flour bread with garlic butter (not bad, but not as good as bread-bread)
  • salad with blue cheese dressing
I think that covers it - and explains today's scale.  We need a week of abstinence, I think, to get things back moving in the other direction.  Maybe a fast day - or maybe not.  I'm reading that fasts are a bit stressful and to be avoided when life is doing the stress thing by itself.  Which, obviously, menopause is doing in spades.

I'm going to buy some over the counter menopause symptom relief, even if it involves soy.  On top of the stress of sweating all day and not sleeping at night, Lee is unhappy these days, which means that he's finding my symptoms an annoyance, and I'm doing a lot of apologizing for stuff beyond my control.  Things cannot continue this way, so I will consume soy, and hope that it helps enough. 

Friday, May 11, 2012

Friday

My. Life. Is. Hell.

No sleep last night - or so it felt.  I recall dreaming that I was looking for a drafting product called "trace" - a roll of throwaway semi-translucent paper - so I had to have slept long enough to do that, but I know that dreams often occur in nano-second spurts, fully baked, so long enough might not have been all that long.

I give up.  I am going out at lunch to buy some sort of commercial anti-menopause product, because I cannot take it any more.  If this could last 10 years, it would outlast me.  I'm tired, I'm on the brink of weeping, and I have a full-time job that supports my family, so I can't just drop everything and crawl into a cave for a while, until this mess sorts itself out.  I will give the commercial product a month, and if the results don't show up, I will put in the prescriptions and start using them.

The scale said 147.8 this morning.  I didn't eat anything particularly unusual yesterday; dinner was a wedge salad with steak after about 3 chips worth of spinach-artichoke dip, and followed by two pieces of bark and two chocolate cherries.  If I'm truly gaining weight, it's the damn hormones doing it.

That's all.  I'm in no mood to provide chatty details today.

Thursday, May 10, 2012

Thursday

I am getting so used to the auto-correct feature in iOS (and Word, really), that I started today by typing a "t" in the title block and waiting.  It did not turn into "Thursday"; it didn't even turn into "T".  What's up with that?  I have to shift for myself?  How antique.

Sleep remains problematic; I woke at 1 am thinking it must be nearly 4 or 5.  All I can figure is that the thermal cues that wake one up are wonky in me right now.  Backwards, truly.  I start getting warmer at 1 am, and when the alarm goes off, I'm generally in a fetal position with my head under the covers, trying to warm up.  I read some stuff about the mechanism behind hot flashes yesterday, and apparently, the hypothalamus gets fooled by erratic hormonal signaling into thinking I'm too hot, and it reacts by widening my blood vessels near the skin's surface, and kicking off a cooling cycle (i.e., sweat).  But if it can be fooled into thinking I'm too hot, it seems also able to be fooled into thinking I'm not cold.  At least, in my case.  So the struggle continues.  I got right back to sleep once I'd checked the time, and may have been slightly awake at some point between then and the alarm going off, but it was in the "could be worse" bucket, and I feel fairly normal today, always nice.

The scale said 147.4 this morning.  No real surprise; I was always going to pay for the fries.  Here's yesterday:
  • scrambled eggs
  • bacon
  • tea with cream
  • the usual supplements
  • cheese
  • possibly a few Godiva Pearls
  • bratwurst
  • sausage with pineapple and bacon in it - not bad, but not quite what I had in mind for dinner
  • sauerkraut (homemade - and darn good, if I do say so)
  • salad with blue cheese dressing
  • two pieces of bark (I made it with 70% chocolate and it's absolutely tasteless; I was going for energy)
  • walnuts
  • two or three chocolate cherries
Since I keep feeling mildly yucky these days, I'm considering adding a multivitamin to the mix - it's always possible that I'm missing the odd nutrient here or there.  I feel like I ought to be eating more veggies - Spring is well underway, and they should be more available.  Our mesclun mix in the garden is just starting to approach an edible size - and I'd better be on my toes in that respect, because we have a lot of rabbits in the neighborhood just now.  They are munching in other areas of the yard, generally, which doesn't bother me at all, but if they head for the garden, I will start having visions of "casserole du lapin".  Not that we would actually do anything like that.  I think it's illegal, and we don't have a rabbit gun.

We are still getting eggs from one of Lee's co-workers.  Backyard chickens with blue and green and brown eggs with lurid yellow yolks and very little whites.  They have to be good for us, right?  Well, at least, the chickens are eating what they're meant to eat, meaning we're eating what we're meant to eat in the eggs.  I think that's what Paleo boils down to for me - eating things that are as natural as can be obtained, with as little interference in them as possible.  And avoiding places that kick piglets - apparently a pork producer in Wyoming had that going on, in a horrible squalid breeding operation.  I guess I'm going to have to start hunting down properly farmed pork.

Wednesday, May 9, 2012

Wednesday

Still somewhere between 146.4 and 146.6 this morning, despite dinner at McDonalds last night, en route to my hair appointment.  I had a naked quarter pounder with cheese (single one) and whatever size fries come with the ordinary meal, and iced tea.  And I ate every last one of those fries.  Yesterday was odd - I felt "off" all day, and when I started on the fries, I felt as if I'd been starving for weeks.  Weird.  Here's the summation of yesterday's eating:
  • scrambled eggs
  • bacon
  • tea with cream
  • the usual supplements
  • cheese
  • a couple of Godiva pearls, I think
  • aforementioned McDonalds feast
  • two chocolate cherries
I'm pretty sure that was it.  I was so tired last night, I nearly went to bed at 7:30, when I got home.  And yet, after walking outside to survey the new bushes and make sure they didn't look wilty, I found myself pulling weeds (although, not for hours or anything).  The strawberries and raspberries and blueberries are going gangbusters so far.  I haven't netted anything but the blueberries, which I may end up regretting; we shall see.  Finished the night off with an Advil-PM, and slept like the dead.  I don't think I had any flashes of any sort all night - but on the other hand, if I had, I'm not sure I would have noticed.  Boy, did I need that sleep!

Other than that, not much going on.  I note with interest the low-carb cruise controversy; should be interesting to see how that plays out.  Stupid people everywhere.

Tuesday, May 8, 2012

Tuesday

I honestly thought I slept well last night.  Now that I've driven in to work, I believe I was wrong about that - I could lay down on my desk right now and nap.  Wow.  Part of it is shoulder pain - they are awful this morning, but the weary-making ache, not a more acute sensation.  But part of it may just be the built up sleep debt of, what is it now, a month? of hot flashes.  I carry on, but today, at least, feels very auto-pilot-esque.  My eyes are watering.

The scale said something like 146.8 or 146.6 this morning, so whatever disappeared over the weekend appears to be somewhat for real.  Or coming back.  I don't know.

Here's yesterday's eating:
  • scrambled eggs
  • tea with cream
  • the usual (Monday) supplements, plus cucurmin for the shoulders
  • cheese
  • beef jerky (boredom eating)
  • bouillon
  • taco salad with 1/2 pound grassfed beef
  • three chocolate cherries
That was it.  I wasn't into snacking last night, for whatever reason - which is fine with me.  That, and I had boundless energy between about 7 and 9pm.  I would like that rearranged, please - can I have that in the mornings, when I need to be battling traffic and what-not?

I did try something from Art Ayers site last night - put Ben-Gay on my shoulders with the expectation that it would actually reduce inflammation, not just feel good at the time.  Supposedly, this actually happens.  I will be repeating the process nightly for a week or so, to see if it helps.  But maybe not right at bedtime - I was pretty pungent last night, and wearing a t-shirt is just asking for the furnace to light off. 

The flashes are getting sparser and much shorter and less intense - I know I keep saying that, but I think I had 4 of them during daylight hours yesterday, and only one was lengthy enough to be really annoying.  Not sure how the nighttime goes, because I'm (badly) sort of sleeping through them - which would argue towards kinder, gentler flashes as well (or I've got used to the damn things; hard to say which).  I may go out after my haircut tonight and get some evening primrose stuff and/or black cohosh - both non-soy herbs that supposedly help with this crap.  Really trying to avoid soy and the HRT prescriptions I have in my purse, if at all possible. 

Monday, May 7, 2012

Monday

Good weekend.  The perfect mix of social activities, puttering, and rest.  Sleep was iffy, but I am getting accustomed to that.  We got lots of stuff done, and I feel like the period had a resolution to it - which might have been watching The Avengers, since it happened yesterday afternoon, and was great - in any event, it felt like we had a real weekend.

So.  146.2 or .4 this morning.  Not bad.  Lee decided yesterday to fast until the movie, and I went along in solidarity, although I ended up eating some cheese and salami around noon.  Whatever we did, I'm down 2 pounds from yesterday and very happy to be there.  Taking anti-inflammatories (turmeric/cucurmin) more frequently for my shoulder, and it seems to be helping; I didn't feel quite so crappy this morning, I'm glad to say, because the pain associated with my right shoulder provided the malaise of a bona-fide illness the past couple of days, and had me wondering if all this sweating really had anything to do with age and hormones or not.  We were planting bushes yesterday morning, and I felt outright weak, but realized later that it was pain.  Weird how the brain mixes that up.

Here's yesterday's eating:
  • tea with cream
  • cheese
  • salami
  • chocolate cherries
  • dark chocolate
  • walnuts
  • coconut shards (the dried stuff)
  • lettuce-wrap filling from PF Changs
  • Mongolian beef from the same (sweet stuff there; do they make ANYTHING without sugar?)
  • a very little bit of rice
  • strawberry ice cream
Not much else to add.  Oh, wait, actually, there is.  Elizabeth and I took a 4.5 mile walk on Saturday, and another 2 mile walk with dogs yesterday, both in the 14.5 minute/mile rate range.  So I think we'll be okay for the Bolder Boulder at the end of the month.  Not that we won't keep walking to train, but it's achievable.  So that's good.

Friday, May 4, 2012

Friday

Still 148.2 this morning.  Sleep was actually pretty good last night, but I feel weak and achy and a bit bloated, almost like I'm sick.  I would very much like to have slept in.  Temperature fluctuations continue to occur sporadically, but they aren't waking me up any more, and they're nowhere as strong as they were a couple of weeks ago (just wrote "years"; certainly it seems like it's been that long!).  I'm grateful for the sleep; we were out to dinner at a wine-sampling (which was a surprise), and it turned out to be pretty bibulous, as you'll see.  The last time I had more than a single glass of wine, I felt it all night, so things could have been much worse.

Here's yesterday's eating:
  • scrambled eggs
  • bacon
  • tea with cream
  • the usual supplements
  • cheese
  • gazpacho with pepper vodka
  • wine (parts of a 4-pour flight of prosecco)
  • salad with flat-iron steak, goat cheese, and balsamic vinaigrette
  • panna cotta with berries soaked in something alcoholic
  • two chocolate cherries, just because
Dinner was delicious, as was the wine; in fact, we're going to get some to have around the house, and for Lee to say that about a sparkling wine is quite a concession, as he is not a fan, generally.  Apart from the alcohol, I think I was pretty paleo.  Lee had a lobster roll (which came on bread, but he got a plate and ate it breadless), and Elizabeth had truffle mac and cheese as an appetizer and pork ribs as an entree.  They had a sort of ice cream sundae (with gelato) for dessert; apparently it was very sweet.  My panna cotta was just right, and whatever the berries had been soaking in was quite tasty.

Weekend to come.  I don't know what we're likely to be up to, although a trip to the movies is on the list somewhere - the Avengers opens (opened, if you're into midnight movies) today.  And our neighbors are having a Kentucky Derby party tomorrow afternoon - I'm bringing some bark with me, which means making it tonight.  Other than that, I think a little puttering is in order, but I don't want to do anything strenuous or repetitive with my right arm - maybe let it rest, for a change.  But some walking would be a good idea; I will shoot for that.

Thursday, May 3, 2012

Thursday

More sleep last night, but I had to have WWII news on from the time I crashed until I woke up.  If that's what it takes, bombs away... I don't recall waking with a hot flash at all; maybe once being a bit cold.  I do hope that's a sign of things to come.  Still having a couple a day, but they seem very much less obtrusive.

Ate three meals yesterday, including a raft of skinny french fries at Steak-n-Shake at lunch.  I shouldn't have had all of them (and their nasty canola oil or whatever it was), but they tasted really good.  So no surprise that the scale told me either 148.0 or 148.2 this morning.  I still consider that consistent - it is only 1/5 of a pound variance, not 4 or 5 pounds like the other one periodically surprised us with.

Here's the scoop:
  • scrambled eggs
  • bacon
  • tea with cream
  • the usual supplements, plus cucurmin
  • double cheese steakburger, no bun (pretty good, not great)
  • all those fries, with ketchup
  • iced tea
  • almond-flour chocolate chip cookie
  • hot and sour soup
  • 4 sticks of teriyaki beef
  • hot tea
  • a few pieces of bark
And that was it.  I notice that, as summer moves in, my urge to snack (or maybe, my opportunity) is declining.  After dinner (at a Chinese place, if that wasn't obvious), Elizabeth and I went shopping, then came home and it was nearly bedtime.

Dinner tonight out at a little place opened in a former auto shop - one of those where you can watch them cook.  Great food, the three times we've been there so far, and priced as if.  We have a gift card that we need to use.

I need to come up with a meal plan for next week, maybe just a list of meat to base dinners on, with variations we could add based on taste at the time.  If I can do that, I think we avoid restaurants a bit more - good for all of us.

Wednesday, May 2, 2012

Wednesday

Got sleep.  Not sure why, but it improved last night.  I didn't wake up as thoroughly, and only once, and my shoulders weren't as distractingly sore.  I ran across a PaleoHacks entry about anti-inflammatories for shoulder issues that mentioned cucurmin, and recalled that we had some, so I took a couple (as well as a couple of Advil) before bed last night.  Don't know if they helped, but I slept.  All that said, when I woke up shortly before 5:00 (on my own), I felt great, temperature-wise, but about 15 minutes later had what I can only describe as a "cold flash" - I could feel my core temperature drop.  Very weird.  It wasn't as intense as yesterday's, but hard to ignore.  On the hot flash front, things seem to be getting shorter, a bit less frequent, and less intense.  I hope that continues to be the case.

The scale this morning read 147.2 on both attempts (my feet are not facilitating the electric currents just now, for some reason).  I think, even if it isn't doing the body comp stuff, it's capturing the weight - after I get 5 readings, it starts telling me if I'm headed up or down by comparison with the average of the last 5 readings.  I like this scale MUCH better than the last one.

Here's yesterday:
  • scrambled eggs with cheese in
  • tea with cream
  • the usual supplements
  • cheese (4 pieces throughout the day at work)
  • walnuts
  • chocolate cherries
  • coconut bark
  • grassfed steak with butter
  • salad with blue cheese dressing
  • a glass of pinot noir
I think that's it.  It seemed like more at the time.  Chinese food tonight, I believe.

Tuesday, May 1, 2012

Tuesday

One more vital statistic from yesterday.  My hematocrit level was 46%, which is at the high end of normal for women.  I guess that's good - and I guess it became almost immediately lower, as I spent the afternoon a pint low on actual blood, making up for it with tea, water, and bouillon.

The scale is behaving remarkably consistently - it showed me at 148.0 again today, although on my first attempt (which erred when trying to do the electrical impedance thing), I saw 147.8.  In any event, I weigh roughly the same today as yesterday.  Despite all that blood.

Lack of sleep continues to kick my butt.  Last night I fell asleep before 10 pm, in order to wake again for several hours at 10:59 pm.  Listened fitfully to WWII news broadcasts, and found myself awake at 1:20 am, at which point I turned the sound off and sort of fell back asleep until the alarm went at 5:30, when I woke up freezing.  This whole hot flash thing isn't just about the heat; it's a complete inability to control my core body temperature.  Driving me absolutely nuts right now, and with summer coming, I am considering filling the HRT prescriptions I've had in my possession for the past year and a bit.  I don't know, though, seems like it's just putting off the inevitable, and I'll have to deal with it again.  In addition to the flashes, though, my shoulder has started up aching again, making me think that I may have torn a muscle throwing beads at Mardi Gras.  Anyway, once I wake up, it's a real effort to get comfortable enough to get back to sleep.  Blecch.

Here's yesterday's eating:
  • scrambled eggs
  • bacon
  • tea with cream
  • the usual supplements
  • beef jerky
  • bouillon
  • a piece of bark
  • chips and salsa
  • 3 cheese enchiladas, smothered in green chile (flour present)
  • a few chocolate cherries
I think that was it.  After my blood-donation day, I wanted food that was basically shoved in my mouth for me, and was really wanting Mexican food, so we went out.  After dinner, the three of us went for a brisk walk of just under 2 miles, which felt quite good at the time, and I did hope that it might have helped with sleep.  Not so much, unfortunately.  I need to get deep enough under that the crazy temp swings don't wake me - but that seems to come only with chemical assistance, and I don't want to do that all that often, either. 

We will be walking more often, though, I think.  Need to, anyway.  Maybe it will help cumulatively?