Friday, January 30, 2015

Friday

Sleep last night was Benadryl-enhanced, and brought up short by the bells of my phone alarm at 4 am. I'm working early, in order to leave early, and a 4 am start to the workday means it ends at noon. Why did I not think of this before? Many good reasons, actually, this is a fairly brutal hour to be awake against my will. But if that means we make Dallas this evening, as it should, it's worth it.

I don't know how much I weigh today - and I won't, because I've already had 2 cups of tea. My practice is to weigh myself first thing in the morning, empty. A cup of tea in my house is probably a pound of liquid - "probably" being the operative term; I wouldn't know how much to subtract. Oh, well. Mid 150's, I'd bet. Here's yesterday:
  • tea with cream
  • the usual supplements
  • scrambled eggs
  • turkey sausage
  • macadamia nuts
  • smoked turkey with mustard BBQ sauce
  • salad with blue cheese dressing
  • an after-dinner mint
  • 1 tsp honey
No snacking last night, because we got home from dinner and started packing, and only stopped to go to bed 2 hours later. All that while monitoring a deployment for work - by my count, the 6th this week, with a 7th set for this morning. I cannot think of a nastier week at this job; it's just been chaos. I hope they're past it - I say "they" because next week, I intend to forget I'm employed. Only thing I can think to do to try a mild stress recovery. And I need to find something intellectually challenging to read - that I want to read - to stave off any sort of vacation cold. Seems to me I'm set up for one of those, what with the elevated stress levels going into this one and my intent to stop them cold turkey, and I don't want it. Mental challenges are supposed to help.

Probably won't be adding to this while I'm gone. I will try to behave reasonably well, but it's New Orleans, and that means eating and drinking and staying up late.

Thursday, January 29, 2015

Thursday

156.6 again.  Here's yesterday:
  • tea with cream
  • bacon
  • the usual supplements
  • cashews
  • cheese
  • chocolate-covered blueberries - 1 handful
  • "goulash": hamburger, stewed tomatoes, bell peppers, cauliflower, cheddar
  • 3 dark chocolate peanut butter cups
  • 1 tsp honey
A short list, but carby - sugary, really. I had a dreadful day. Hardly any sleep going in, a workday that didn't really end until 8:45 pm (started at 7:30 am), and a bunch of flying crises throughout. So I'm fairly sure that the sugar cravings were in response to stress. At least I wasn't out driving for any of it.

Sleep last night was better - not perfect, mind you, maybe not even good, but better than the 3 shallow hours the night before. You'd think that exhaustion would make it possible to sleep through the night. You'd be wrong. I woke at 1:15 am, again at 3:30, drifted off briefly at that point before giving up entirely around 4:09. Benadryl tonight, early rising tomorrow, and a long day, since we're driving as far as we can get.

Read an article yesterday from the Paleo Mom (Sarah Ballantyne) - it was on Facebook, so I don't have a link handy. She was talking about stress and its effects on the body and how to mitigate it. First on the list is sleeping better. Which I would love to do. Because stress is apparently messing with my hypothalamus, home of the hot flash (TM), which is causing issues with adrenals and possibly other glands. So here's my problem:
  • I am in menopause.
  • it causes hot flashes
  • it causes insomnia
  • I find these things stressful
  • I have a stressful job with a nasty commute
  • which adds to the stress
  • so my insomnia gets worse
  • and maybe makes the hot flashes worse???
  • making me so tired I can't think or move some days
  • which, unfortunately, does not help me sleep
Where on earth do I break this damn cycle? It seems like my life is set up to feed on itself.

Honestly, only bullet 5 is in my control. I mean to fix it. To some point, anyway - because my skills are in a stressful field, so it will only improve a little.

There are a few other things I can do. Not yoga, though. Walking, definitely. Preferably outside as soon as (whenever) that is possible.

Wednesday, January 28, 2015

Wednesday

The raveled sleave of care (that is so how it's spelled!) remains raveled this morning. Work last evening went until 12:30 am, and it took about an hour for me to get un-mad enough to get to sleep. And I woke up around 4. I think that works out to around 3 hours.

If something cannot go on, it won't. Does that mean that this can? I decided to work from home today to avoid the commute in my current mental state, but I may not always be able to do that.

156.6 this morning and constipated (TMI? sorry!). Here's yesterday:
  • tea with cream
  • the usual supplements
  • scrambled eggs
  • turkey sausage
  • macadamia nuts
  • chips and salsa
  • cheese enchiladas with green chile
  • 2 squares Lindt 85%
  • 1 tsp honey
A short list, but carby, or at least, dinner was carby. And I know the sleep debt won't help with anything. No exercise. Probably none today. I think I'm admitting to having quit the Primal Challenge at this point - the obstacles are just too steep.

Tuesday, January 27, 2015

Tuesday

Mildly better sleep last night. But only mildly. Which is pretty obnoxious, really. It was weird. From 9ish, when I fell asleep, until 3ish, when I first woke up, it was like the night before - tense, shallow, irritating sleep. Un-restful. Nasty. I woke at 3, realizing that, rolled over, and fell back asleep, and finally got some decent sleep. For about 2 hours. I'll take it - obviously it's better than nothing - but WTF?

I'm less tired this morning, sort of. Still quite achy - apparently from Sunday's long walk. Last night, I walked into the house and wanted to go straight to bed - in any event, we didn't make it to the gym. We did eat and ran a few errands, came back, cleaned the guest bath, and I watched Downton on my iPad. I took a Benadryl last night as I should have the night before (and as I will on Thursday night).

I will survive this, and I will try to be civil and polite, but right now, it's very hard to do that, and impossible to muster much of a good mood. I'm sure there are people out there who manage it, but I can't even conceive how. We have a friend who has been battling cancer for 4 years, and at least publicly, is upbeat and creative and funny. As a matter of fact, we've been a little worried about him of late because his facebook postings seem to emphasize the need to be strong (which is still a positive message). Maybe I need to use him as my example; if he can be positive in the face of his challenges, I sure as hell should be dreadfully ashamed that I cannot in the face of so much less of an issue. Okay, then.

155.6 this morning again (what I was Sunday morning, which was up from 155.2 on Saturday). I just checked my entries from a year ago, and I was in the mid-150s then, too. Is this my "natural" weight? I keep asking that, at different places on the scale, so I tend to think the answer is no, but a year basically static? That's kind of impressive. I would still like to restack some of it, and if I can get past the insomnia/exhaustion cycle, will do more weight-bearing exercise. But for now, I kind of think that hanging on is maybe the most I can do. Dammit.

Here's yesterday's eating:
  • tea with cream
  • the usual supplements
  • scrambled eggs
  • turkey sausage (which I am starting to hate, just sayin')
  • cheese
  • a small steak
  • salad with meat and cheese and blue cheese dressing
  • 2 squares of Lindt 85%
  • 1 tsp honey
Wow, was that it? I think it was. Small graces, I guess - and I do appreciate that I'm able to control my eating right now.

Monday, January 26, 2015

Monday

I ate well on Sunday (less so on Saturday), and got a 2-mile walk in yesterday, including, according to Nike's Running app, my fastest mile yet, at 11:44 (back at a pace I used to do routinely about 10 years ago). So of course, I weigh more this morning. 156.4. 
Here's yesterday:
  • tea with cream
  • omelet with ham, cheese, tomatoes
  • a small portion of hash browns (3 forkfuls)
  • caesar salad with chicken, no croutons
  • walnuts
  • maybe some cheese? I actually think I didn't have any
  • chef's salad with ham, roast beef, cheese, and blue cheese dressing
  • 2 squares of Lindt 85%
  • 3 peanut M&Ms.
  • 1 tsp honey
Sleep, last night, was just weird. I felt as if I had my head and heels on the mattress, but the rest of me tense and elevated, all night. Pretty much half asleep the whole time, never, fully asleep or relaxed at all. It didn't help that the dogs needed to go out at least twice, either. I hurt all over this morning. We think it was because it was not cold yesterday, and I know at one point, I was thinking about getting up to swap pajamas for something without sleeves, so that may have been it. Whatever the cause, it was just horrid. I'm running on RedBull this morning. Hope it's enough.

Final week of the Primal challenge. Mine will be a bit truncated since we'll be on the road on Friday and Saturday, and in New Orleans on Sunday. I am going to try to do the fitness stuff for the first part of the week, though, if at all possible. I think today is bodyweight stuff, so of course, we have plans to hit the gym (I do those at home); I'll get some sort of walk in and then do the bodyweight stuff at home, I guess.

Probably Benadryl tonight. Should have done it last night. You'd think I'd learn.

Friday, January 23, 2015

Friday

"Now is the winter of our discontent..." Discontent? Try raging hatred, and that's too weak. Not that yesterday was bad by comparison to anything earlier in the week, but it's cold out, there's crunchy ice on the ground all over the place, and snow, and doing nearly anything takes effort that isn't needed if it would just not snow around here. 

I'm happy to say that my aches and pains are pretty much gone this morning - thank you, fish oil! And I got a good night's sleep last night, with only (?) melatonin, magnesium, honey, fish oil, and aspirin. So is that better or worse than a single Benadryl? I hope better.

155.8 again this morning. Here's yesterday:
  • tea with cream
  • scrambled eggs
  • turkey sausage
  • the usual supplements
  • cheddar cheese
  • hot and sour soup
  • cashew chicken (no rice)
  • a fortune cookie
  • 2 squares Lindt 85%
  • 1 tsp honey
Chinese always stalls me - I don't know if it's the salt in the soy sauce, the MSG, or if it's just evil. And I'm not really trying to lose weight right now, though I would still (!) like to get down closer to 150 or below it. The Primal Blueprint challenge does seem to have me back in ketosis and in control, mostly - much improved over what I was doing in the run up to Christmas, so I'm grateful for that. 

Didn't get any exercise in yesterday. I may try bodyweight stuff today, since things are mostly back to normal (except my left ankle - still a little "off"). Movie tonight, at which I will eschew popcorn. I need to make sure I smuggle in some Frollicks this time - a couple of packages of those should be a reasonable substitute.

Thursday, January 22, 2015

Thursday

I am not Grok. 

I would like to be - heaven knows, I would - but I make my living in IT, doing stupid computer shit sitting in a chair all day. In a cold climate, where getting outdoors is not always even bearable, much less optimal. And I commute. Last night, driving home took 3 hours. The last hour was spent within 5 miles of my house, because nobody could drive up an iced-up hill that was on my route home.

This is what supports my family. I would love to go do something else, but really, not much else provides this level of income, certainly nothing that would allow me to live an active outdoor life with lots of balance.

Obviously, I have a problem. And I don't really know what to do about it.

Paleo eating saved my health 4 years ago. No doubt about it, and I would like to embrace the rest of the lifestyle more than I do. In The Eighth Habit, Steven Covey talks a lot about "aligning" the process to the desired end result. My life is not "aligned" in that way - work and responsibilities are very much at cross-purposes with nearly everything that might make life enjoyable. And I'm 53 years old, which doesn't give me a lot of time to get it fixed. 

We have a chance next week, in the course of a 20-hour drive to New Orleans for Mardi Gras, to do a lot of talking about what we want to do. We are seriously considering a move, one that should eliminate the winter weather. And one that would allow me to try to minimize my commute, since we'd be starting fresh. I hope we can use the time profitably.

All that said, my fall on the ice yesterday created a mild ankle strain, so I am limping a bit today. My thumb is better, but I don't think I'd want to put a lot of weight on it for a while yet. Short version: I'm probably off exercise for the next week or so. Not abandoning the challenge completely, but I can't really do much of it. Ugh.

155.8 this morning - good considering I have swelling. Here's yesterday (not so good):
  • tea with cream
  • scrambled eggs
  • bacon
  • the usual supplements (extra fish oil)
  • macadamia nuts (not many)
  • m&ms
  • a scotch
  • meatballs and spaghetti sauce with mozzarella cheese
  • 1 tsp honey
I don't know if the m&ms (23g carbs) or the scotch were enough to derail the ketosis I saw the other day - I didn't test last night. And a short evening (arrived home at 7 pm) definitely reduces the snacking opportunities - I threw myself into a hot bath with Epsom Salts to try to keep the issues down to a minimum.

At least it's sunny today. I guess I can get me some sun.

Wednesday, January 21, 2015

Wednesday

So, eating went well yesterday. Stress, less so. 155.6 again this morning - yesterday appears to have been a blip of some sort, as I thought. Here's yesterday:
  • tea with cream
  • the usual supplements
  • scrambled eggs
  • bacon
  • macadamia nuts
  • pot roast
  • 1 tsp honey
That was it. We finished our movie last night after dinner, and that took up most of the evening. Once home from that, I took my nail polish off and watched about 1/2 hour of TV and it was bedtime. Benadryl to sleep; I think I'll be glad I did it later today. No real exercise. One interesting note - I checked my ketosis last night for the first time since around Christmas, and it was at Moderate - only to be expected after my eating day, I think.

Today will probably be similar - sans movie, obviously. It's snowing, so I don't know if I'll be doing much that isn't "huddling in the cave" today. I'm starting to think that if I opt to do another of these challenges (and it has been a good way to get back in the groove in general), it'll be in better weather.

I managed to slip on ice in the parking lot this morning - my bad - and have done something to my left thumb, right at the base. I'm not sure if it's anything big; it just hurts at the moment. I've taken aspirin and soaked it in ice water, both of which seem to have helped a bit. But if it's lingering, it could put a crimp in continuing the challenge activities - hard to do pushups or planks on a sore hand.

Tuesday, January 20, 2015

Tuesday

Short and sweet. Okay weekend - didn't exercise as much as I should have, but was somewhat exhausted on Sunday for no particular reason. Had a massage. Ate fairly badly - popcorn, Mexican food... 157.8 this morning; I was 155.6 yesterday, so I tend to think it's water from sprint sessions yesterday. My piriformis muscle on my right side is unhappy from them, and I'm a bit stiff overall. Yesterday's eating was 2 salads and breakfast (all bacon) and cheese, chocolates, and cashews - pretty good right up to the end, actually. I was hungry after dinner so I had cheese and cashews and the latter got away from me, as they always do. Pot roast for dinner tonight, and no exercise, as we are going to see the end of the movie we were at on Sunday (theatre filled with smoke so we missed the last 15 minutes). I will try to avoid the popcorn, however.

Friday, January 16, 2015

Friday

It figures. You decide to do the Primal Blueprint Challenge, trying to increase emphasis in your life on balance, play, getting regular walks in, stuff like that. You start the week out, all excited,... and,... the week goes to complete shit at work. I'm in the process of working on my second emergency release of the week today, after 2 days getting home well after dark, and a day of nothing but following up on a production issue that would have been much smaller if anyone had listened to me at all. You bet I'm angry. Stressed, and all sorts of things. I cannot recall a worse week at this job - and it's been a more stressful job than some of the previous ones I've had.

I'm doing my best to stick with things. Got home last night - late, due to traffic - went to the gym, got in the rest of my 60-minutes' walk. Fought to sleep all night (lost - woke at 3:30 for an hour or so). Am still eating well, thankfully. 155.8 again this morning, and that's with 3 miles' walking under my belt. I don't know if I'll get my bodyweight exercises done today or not - work is crazy and we have a work party (oh, joy.) tonight. 

On the better hand, I have a massage tomorrow, 90-minutes, too. Looking forward to that a lot. A movie on Sunday. And Monday's a holiday, so I won't be going to work (heaven knows if I'll be working - at the rate this week went, probably). The weather is supposed to be fairly decent, so maybe we can get some walking done outside.

Eating yesterday was good:
  • eggs and bacon
  • tea with cream
  • supplements
  • macadamias
  • burger patty and salad with blue cheese
  • 2 squares Lindt 85% chocolate
  • some cheese
I think that was it. Things are still not good today (stress-wise) and are not showing signs of improvement, either. However, I've been quite disciplined as to eating today, mostly because I haven't been at all bored, I guess. So that's something. Still, a totally stressful day where I didn't have time to eat badly seems like not an improvement over a boring day where I ate sub-par. 

Okay. Weekend's coming. We will survive.

Thursday, January 15, 2015

Thursday Supplemental Post

I had a few distractions when writing my daily post this morning, and forgot a few things.

First, 155.8 this morning, and swollen - fingers, ankles, various other bits. Which leads to:

Second, the Primal Blueprint exercise regimen is brutal. Short, but effective. A couple of fish oil night before last kept the stiffness from the bodyweight workout from hitting until today, and I expected that. What I did not expect was the walking around with weights thing. I took two 8-pound dumbells to the gym in a bag. Carried both of them for about 10 minutes, which amounted to about 2/3 of a mile, and then put one of them (and the bag) down and carried the other for another 2/3 of a mile or so. Total of 20 minutes. Nearly put my biceps into failure. And the fish oil last night really didn't postpone the workout stiffness in my arms. My toes hurt this morning. The interstitial muscles in my back hurt when I breathe. It's absolutely crazy how sore I am this morning.

Today's workout is about getting movement - walking-around time. Damn good thing, I say. That's about all I'm capable of.

Thursday

Benadryl night last night. I realized this morning that it will probably be more effective if I take it around 8-8:30 than at 9:00, since it took me a little while to get to sleep and I was groggy on the drive in. So Sunday, I will back it off a bit.  It was necessary last night - hugely so, since the workouts for the Primal Blueprint challenge the past 2 days were weight-intensive and made me pretty stiff and achy. I did wake up once - sometime after 1, I think, and was a bit sore, but more sleepy, so I went right back to sleep.

Eating was good yesterday:
  • tea with cream
  • the usual supplements
  • eggs scrambled with ham, cheese, tomatoes
  • 1 piece of that vile sausage (gone now!)
  • macadamias
  • a big-ass salad with meat and cheese, and blue cheese dressing
  • 2 squares of 85% Lindt
  • 2 peanuts
  • 1 tsp honey
I wasn't hungry or snacky after dinner, so that's also really good. Watched this week's Downton episode on my iPad, and let my feet get cold, so I was yawning before we even went to bed.

Got sun yesterday - it finally reappeared. Sunny today as well, so I will get my 15 minutes, and will walk around the building at lunchtime to add minutes to my activity for the day - today's goal is like 60-90 minutes, which I cannot do at the gym. 

Wednesday, January 14, 2015

Wednesday

I do realize that wishing time would go faster is a surefire way to make it drag, and Monday being a holiday, compounded with us leaving for New Orleans in a bit over 2 weeks, is definitely making me wish time would go faster, but seriously, it's only Wednesday? Are we sure?

Yesterday was hellish. Bad drive to work, annoying stuff at work, late meetings at work because a production system was misbehaving and NOBODY listened when I said so in the morning, so we couldn't fix it early, and the hour-and-a-half drive home in pitch darkness with snow and freezing drizzle. And traffic. I got home 11-1/2 hours after I left for the day. This is wrong. Which I know, and our plans to change are starting to firm up and take on a seriously practical and realistic form. I think, if we can execute, we will be living somewhere else before the end of this year. Somewhere warmer, where snow is a rare and interesting event.

But this isn't about that. This is about paleo/primal eating and living, and how I'm succeeding (or not) at those endeavors. And I guess yesterday was a success in the end. Sucky day, but I got a session of "lift heavy things" in (not what was scheduled for yesterday; I'll do that thing tonight), and kept from eating crazy. 155.4 (I think, might have been .6) this morning. Here's yesterday:
  • tea with cream
  • scrambled eggs
  • pork sausage with maple syrup (I hope, not some nasty flavoring crap)
  • the usual supplements
  • macadamia nuts
  • chicken tortilla soup with rice and cheese
  • swiss cheese
  • 2 squares of Lindt 85% dark chocolate
  • 1 tsp honey
I believe that was it. Not too bad. I hope I can figure out which recipe I used for that soup when I made it a few months back (it was frozen), because it turned out beyond delicious.

As mentioned, I did a full session of bodyweight exercises (barring the pullups; I don't have a practical way to do those), which amounted to 2 sets done to failure with a short break between. I was sane enough at bedtime to take some fish oil and aspirin, so my sleep, while a bit sketchy, wasn't sketchy because of pain (just random interludes of sweating). Sleep was interrupted around midnight-1 am, and again at 3:30ish. The first time, I was able to get back to sleep quickly; the second took a little time, but I was ultimately successful. I opted for honey and magnesium but not melatonin, because I was starting to think that the time-release nature of the melatonin I have was actually causing the split sleep issues. Maybe not, but I think this weekend, I'll get a jar of 3mg plain melatonin and switch to that. And tonight is Benadryl night.

The sun is out today, so I have no excuse, and will be going out around lunchtime to sit in it for 15 minutes. I managed about 2 minutes yesterday of watery lighter fog - we really didn't have any sun. It's also supposed to be getting less cold over the next 4-5 days. That will be nice.

Tuesday, January 13, 2015

Tuesday

I can say confidently that if I was full of it yesterday, I am no longer full of it. Think we'll leave it at that.

I managed all of the checklist items for the Primal Blueprint challenge (no, one of them was not "embed this graphic on your website", fortunately), except 15 minutes of sunlight. Because we didn't have any. Won't today either. My dislike of this place in winter is growing daily greater. Even though I know it's sunny 300 days a year and all that. Anyway, I ate well, read a book in the evening, walked for 17 minutes. Today they want a "weighted" walk - walk carrying something fairly heavy. I haven't figured out how I might do that. We are supposedly going to Costco - maybe I can grab the proposed hamburger purchase and lug it around the store a couple of times - a bit weird and contrived, but I guess it would work. For what it's worth, I managed my FuelBand goal last night - I reset it to 2000 points from 2500, because I'd been consistently scoring 2100ish points per day. So that's about when Lee got sick, and I may have made it to goal once or twice since then. Bad times.

156.0 this morning - see statement above. Here's yesterday:
  • tea with cream
  • grilled chicken caesar salad, no croutons
  • steak
  • sauteed mushrooms
  • salad with blue cheese dressing
  • macadamia nuts
  • 1 tsp honey
That was it. A short list. Short lists are good.

Sleep last night was sketchy. I got to sleep fine, then woke up at 10:56, sometime shortly after 12, and a couple more times that I didn't check the time. Lots of hot flashes overnight, no idea why. I made it back to sleep each time, so I claimed the "8 hours' sleep" checklist item on the challenge, but it definitely wasn't good sleep. I do believe that I dreamed, though - that's at least something - and I don't feel utterly knackered this morning. Tonight is another honey/magnesium/melatonin night, and then tomorrow, I'll take a Benadryl. I have to wonder what earthly purpose this torment serves - I cannot think of a single evolutionary reason to have older women prowling around at 3 am, wakeful. Maybe we're all supposed to be dead by now. Whatever the reason, it really sucks.

Monday, January 12, 2015

More about the Primal Blueprint Challenge

A handy infographic (this may or may not work):
<a href="http://www.marksdailyapple.com/the-primal-blueprint-21-day-challenge-infographic/"><img src="http://bit.ly/1fxixc3" alt="The Primal Blueprint 21-Day Challenge" title="The Primal Blueprint 21-Day Challenge" /></a><br/>Learn more at <a href="http://www.marksdailyapple.com">Mark's Daily Apple</a>.

Monday

Bad day Friday for food; on top of too much candy (chocolate covered blueberries), I opted for Mexican at dinner - and pigged out on chips and salsa. Saturday was okay, I think; a late breakfast and what was supposed to be no-carb pizza for dinner, and too many cashews afterwards, but that was it for bad eating. Yesterday was actually pretty good, I hope. My stomach is telling me otherwise this morning, though - it's a bit messed up. Here's yesterday:
  • tea with cream
  • scrambled eggs
  • bacon
  • a bit of apple butter
  • meat-only chili topped with melted cheese
  • salad with blue cheese dressing
  • 2 pieces of cheese
  • a bunch of walnuts (not measured)
That was it. 157.6 this morning, some of it leftover inflammation, I think. And the thing that I am full of this morning.

So the Primal Blueprint challenge starts today, and finishes the day after we arrive in New Orleans. So mine might be a day short. I got some amount of momentum going last week regarding walking - not quite daily, though - and did the squats from the baseline exercise on Saturday (some of that inflammation is from those, and from shoving boxes of Christmas stuff into the attic). I haven't looked at today's stuff yet, but plan on doing it. Skipped breakfast today because I have to go on a lunch thing for work (not likely to be fun, either). Dinner is to be steaks and salad.

Sleep Friday night was good - I slept like a log until after 6, I think. Woke up for the day Sunday at 3:30. Took 1 Benadryl last night and knew nothing until after 5 am - although I recall dreaming. Not the greatest approach, but at the moment, it seems to be working for me, so I'll keep it up.

Friday, January 9, 2015

Friday

Up later than planned last night - I think I got to sleep around 11:15. Work. I took 2 Benadryl as soon as we finished up and it took about 1/2 hour to work, I think. After that, I don't remember a thing until the alarm went off. I needed it, desperately. I almost wish it worked every night, but it's probably better for me that it doesn't. I don't think I have an issue with addiction, but I also want to avoid the near occasion of addiction. I'm tired today and a bit washed out, but less hair-trigger than I was yesterday, which is a very good thing.

  • 156.6 this morning - at least, I think so. The scale's light went out as I bent down to focus. I know I went to bed with swollen feet, and can only assume I'm carrying water. No real idea why. Here's yesterday:
  • tea with cream
  • the usual supplements
  • scrambled eggs
  • bacon
  • cheese (4 pieces)
  • salad with meat and cheese and blue cheese dressing
  • 2 Christmas chocolates
  • some salted roasted peanuts
  • 2 dark chocolate peanut butter cups
I think that was it. I don't think I bothered with honey last night, because of the Benadryl.

We didn't exercise yesterday. There wasn't really time, or we didn't think there was time. And I was not in the mood. 

Working from home today. Christmas take-down this weekend. If the weather permits, I may try to get a walk in outdoors - I think that would be nice. And I think we are in for a stretch of 40s without snow, so it's possible. Today is grey and grubby and cold - we got a skift of snow (I think that's the word) overnight, but it just makes everything look brittle. I think the other thing to do this weekend is a set of the Primal bodyweight exercises (pushups, planks, squats), since the aches from the baseline set I did are finally gone. I was surprised that they caused so much stiffness; must be doing something.

Thursday, January 8, 2015

Thursday (I desperately hope, anyway)

Another bad night's sleep last night, for the same combination of reasons. The dog wanted a drink at 1-something am. She whined. Only I heard her. I let her out. After which, last night, she wanted to go outside. I got back to sleep around 4, and had to take aspirin to achieve that. Much worse than the previous night. I'm exhausted again, cranky as hell (not being improved by my first moments at work, I must say), and a pound and a half heavier than yesterday, for no obvious reason. 157.6 this morning. Here's yesterday:
  • tea with cream
  • bacon (4 pieces, I think)
  • a piece of beef jerky
  • leftover paleo shepherd's pie
  • a cup of green chile as soup 
  • cobb salad with blue cheese dressing
  • 2 chocolates (working through the last of the Christmas stuff)
  • some walnuts
  • 1 tsp honey
We hit the gym and I walked about a mile and a half - slower than the day before per the Nike running app, which I attribute to being tired. And had dinner afterwards. The walnuts were ad lib., from a jar of them, and I know that they have caused issues with weight before, so they may be the source of my issue, but I'm so damn tired of watching every stinking bite and looking back after a jump like that to see, truly, nothing that should have been a problem.

I had RedBull on the drive to work this morning, and will probably have Benadryl tonight - 2 of them, too. This is a hell of a way to live.

Wednesday, January 7, 2015

Wednesday

156.0, stiff and sore from the baseline exercises (much more than yesterday). Very very tired; we found out after dinner last night that Lee is going to be Mardi Gras king next year, not in 4 years as we had thought, so we had to start doing some rapid planning, and my brain never did really settle down. Fell asleep after 11; the dog woke up at 1:30ish to get a drink - she moaned just enough to penetrate a single Benadryl. I just hurt.

Yesterday went like this:
  • tea with cream
  • the usual supplements
  • scrambled eggs
  • bacon
  • cheese
  • paleo shepherd's pie (beef, mirepoix, cauliflower, cream, butter)
  • 2 chocolates
  • peanuts
  • 1 tsp honey
I have the rest of the shepherd's pie with me for lunch today, and had cold bacon for breakfast (bad roads, made worse by bad traffic reporting). If I'd had time on the way out of the house, I'd have grabbed a RedBull as well, but will have to make do with tea. Gonna be a long day.

Monday, January 5, 2015

Monday

I guess we've already had the first post of the new year, so I won't go into any of that. Suffice it to say that I was at 155.6 this morning - not bad after 3 days spent in hibernation, basically. It was cold, Lee's still sick (!), and while we did make it out for a walk on Saturday, and I got my eye appointment done for contacts to wear for Mardi Gras (it's way easier to deal with masks wearing contacts than glasses), that was pretty much it. I did some sewing yesterday, and some reading, and some TV-watching (oh, joy).

I don't think I recall yesterday's eating, but it involved an omelet and a few hashbrowns for breakfast, cheese and ham and chocolates, and that was it, I believe. I'm trying to get back into fat-burning mode, and am planning on doing the upcoming Primal Blueprint 21-day challenge (starts in 1 week). The point of the latter, though is less about eating (we're mostly Primal these days, except when I dive face-first into junk food) than about the strength exercises. I feel like that's my big issue these days - I am not particularly strong, and I need to be stronger. So I want to focus on his fitness routines for a solid period, see if they work for me. And if I can't find time or room to do bodyweight stuff 2 days a week for a total of 45 minutes, then I have bigger issues than strength.

Sleep over the weekend was much improved from Thursday; I think I slept clear through all 3 nights. Last night, I took Benadryl, just as a precaution; the 2 nights before were honey/magnesium/melatonin nights. And the honey dreams are kicking in full-force, that's for sure. And starting to be memorable as well - which, I hope, means that I'm less exhausted. Crossing my fingers that I have at least a bit of a handle on the sleep these days.

Friday, January 2, 2015

Friday

Interesting. Yesterday was a complete loss. Due to a combination of factors (alcohol with dinner, fireworks, nervous and spoiled dogs, and menopausal insomnia), I woke for the day shortly after midnight. Spent the following 5 hours tossing and turning carefully to avoid falling off the bed because the nervous spoiled dog was occupying my normal foot room, and finally got up for good around 5:30. Consequently, there was no January weather option that could have enticed me out to do the planned 5K; I spent the day on the couch with my feet up, reading with the TV on (that is, not really getting much read). I did actually fall asleep for about 10 minutes mid-afternoon, but that was it until bedtime. Last night, I slept with a Benadryl, didn't so much as move until after 5 am. I feel better, but wish it didn't have to be that way.

Anyway, I weigh 155.4 this morning. Here's yesterday:
  • tea with cream
  • scrambled eggs
  • bacon
  • tomato slices
  • 1-2 pieces of cheese (I think)
  • a bunch of roasted salted peanuts (not measured)
  • 4 mint dark chocolates
  • 1 regular chocolate (Christmas)
  • pork roast
  • roast potatoes
  • gravy
  • fruit salad
  • black-eyed peas
I think that was it. I guess I'd call it balanced. I had made crock-pot Jambalaya for dinner before we got invited to eat with my parents. Otherwise, dinner would have involved chicken and shrimp and a bit of rice. We're having that tomorrow.

Nearly done with the Christmas candy, I'm happy to say. We still have a stash of Trader Joe's dark chocolate what-nots, but I'm going to try to put them somewhere out of sight and see if that leads to "out of mind". I really need to get my head back into the "sugar is poison" mindset - so that's my reaction to it viscerally, instead of "yum!"

Working from home today - will try to stick to cheese as snacks, and a movie tonight, we think. Probably dinner out. I want to avoid flour and stuff, though, so my going-in plan will be for a big-ass salad with meat. Sounds like the weather might be warmer this weekend, and Lee's mostly over his flu, so we're talking resuming gym visits. I'm sure it will be crowded and chaotic.