Tuesday

I double-checked. It's definitely Tuesday. Just wanted to make sure, after last week.

I went to sleep with Melatonin last night. In general, I would tend to say it was more successful than it had been the previous week, but it didn't achieve true greatness. It was hot - I was hot - something. I woke up a couple of times either in pain (and took aspirin quickly) or all sweaty, but was able to get back to sleep. Until 4, anyway. I turned the radio on around 4:20 because it had become clear that I was awake for the day. So, 7 hours of fairly bad sleep. Better than 5 hours of fairly bad sleep, I guess, but I would really like to take all of the lovely women with menopause assistance blogs and beat the crap out of them every time they suggest that the best help for the insomnia symptom is to "get a good night's sleep". So effing unhelpful, Ms. Obvious. Perhaps I can get rid of all my menopause symptoms by arranging to resume secretions of estrogen, LH, FSH, progesterone and anything else I might have forgotten from 10th-grade biology class. I'll just go do that then, shall I?

So, spleen vented. This is frustrating in the extreme.

162.0 this morning. I'm disappointed, I guess. Here's yesterday (which will explain it):

• tea with cream
• fish oil, turmeric, and mag citrate
• 3 pieces of aged gouda
• about 1/2 pound of strawberries
• a piece of cheddar
• 2 ground-beef patties with cheddar
• an avocado
• tomato slices
• pickles
• (so far, so good, right?)
• 12 almond-flour pecan shortbread cookies

The cookies may not be all that bad, either from a carb or caloric standpoint - I've never calculated them. Did they help with my cookie craving? Maybe - I was able to look at them this morning and not eat any (or pack any for lunch, either).

Seriously, though, I'm a mess right now. I dislike my job, which by turns bores and annoys me. I'm on my own with 5 animals who need early morning feedings each day, a commute that takes 2 hours round trip no matter what's going on, I'm menopausal in ways that are calculated to just wear me down, we may be on the brink of a move, and if we are, it means more time on my own with 5 animals which will require me to get up even earlier to ensure that their messes are cleaned for house showings, and probably packing the place out on my own (not that I won't have folks willing to help, but I'll have to do all the coordination and arrangements and what-not). I'm craving snacks - sweets in particular - in a particularly irresistible, compelling way, and I'm getting no sleep. I ache from head to toe, workouts don't actually seem to be having any impact on my overall fitness, endurance, or strength, and I'm, not surprisingly, gaining weight. When I'm home, the cat spends the entire day yowling at me, for no obvious reason, and one of the dogs wants to sit in my lap, pretty much. I'd say I'm near the end of my rope, but there doesn't appear to be a rope anywhere to be at the end of.

And yet, I know - absolutely know in my logical mind - that I have it far easier than other women going through menopause. It's just that I don't have a lot of margin for error here. 

Oh, and I've somehow managed to get a nasty sinus infection, that isn't budging for salt-water rinses. I do NOT want to take antibiotic pills for this, but have no idea if I can convince anyone to give me antibiotic nose drops, which I know from personal experience absolutely exist. Nor do I really have the time to take off to go get properly diagnosed. Which probably means quickie-med for me, if I get so I can't take it anymore. I just don't know.

A little light at the end of the tunnel would sure be nice - even if it is a train.

Monday

Three nights of Benadryl.

Two days of working outside in the garden.

Two days spent eating crap, too.

Some weekends are better than others. Not sure where this one fell. I'm at 161.2 this morning, I'm sorry to say.

After last week, I decided to sleep with Benadryl on Friday night, and got a full night's sleep - at least, until the dog started throwing up at 5:22 am. I started feeling a little better, and did strenuous garden cleanup on Saturday as well as getting in a 2.7 mile walk. I figured that it being a weekend, if a second night's Benadryl caused issues, at least I had Sunday to recover, so I took one Saturday night as well - and got a second decent night's sleep. So I took a chance that I could push it to 3 nights, and repeated the process last night. It worked. I woke up at 5 on my own, and feel pretty darn good this morning.

As for the eating, well, I spent Friday craving cookies, and trying to figure out what I had in the house that might be cookie-like to eat. Ultimately, I went out and got myself a double Quarter Pounder and fries (no bun, but fries), which didn't really quash the cookie craving but helped a bit. Saturday, I hit the grocery store for a few needed items - and added potato chips, M&Ms, and malted milk eggs to the load. Ate all of the eggs on Saturday, and one bag of chips. Ate the other bag of chips and one bag of M&Ms (the little ones) yesterday. I'm not sure what's going on, but I still want cookies. I think I will make some almond flour shortbread tonight, see if that will help. It's the texture that's calling to me, oddly enough.

In addition to the junk yesterday, I ate:

• fish oil, magnesium and potassium, and turmeric (working on post-exercise inflammation)
• tea with cream
• cheese
• grapes
• leftover taco-salad meat with cheese and taco sauce on it
• cashews
• dark chocolate (1 Dove heart candy)

I think that was it. If I'd avoided the chips and candy, it wouldn't have been all that bad of a day. However...

Exercise over the weekend was pretty good. I cleaned out about 35 linear feet of garden beds, sprayed about half of our parking area with round-up trying to kill goats-head thorn plants now, and went for the walk. Hit Goal on my FuelBand both days. I hope that I'm feeling like going for another walk tonight, and maybe I can start a Streak on it. Maybe. I'm pretty stiff and sore this morning, and being that I have a sedentary job, may set up.

So, sleep tonight? I don't know. I think I will try to revert to the Melatonin, see if that will get me a night's sleep, in hopes that the Benadryl won't be needed. But if it doesn't work, I will probably return to my pattern from earlier this year - only use Benadryl one night in three, since I know that the sleep it provides is not as good as the real stuff. I've set myself up to help a bit in another area - caffeine consumption. I have decaf tea bags at work to use in the afternoons, and I made iced tea with decaf bags, since I tend to drink that in the evenings now that it's warmer again. Because if I drink a lot of tea at work, I get much more caffeine than I do at home, since each cup at work is made with a tea bag, and each entire pot at home is made with a tea bag.

And I don't know what I'm going to do regarding eating. Over the weekend, I ate when I felt like it, not really structured as "meals". Drank a lot of iced and hot tea and Perrier. Ate fruit - I had a 4-pound container of grapes that I went through last week. I should have a Cobb salad tonight, because the avocado is ripe. Should. Will I? Hard to say. I think I will try.

Friday

Sigh.

This week has been pretty much a fiasco. Stressful, completely useless on the sleep front, and weight-gaining. 159.8 this morning. I mean, really? W. T. F.? Here's yesterday:

• tea with cream
• supplements (pretty much everything except the multi-vitamin)
• cheddar cheese
• a Red Bull (safety while driving to work)
• a bunch grapes that fit into a sandwich ziploc
• 3 pieces of aged gouda
• macadamia nuts
• taco salad (ground beef, cheese, sour cream, lettuce, tomato, taco sauce)
• 2 squares of Lindt 85%
• dried nectarines (very tough and slow eating, so less than a full nectarine's worth)

That was it. I did not walk last night, and I was in bed before 8 pm, being just that tired. Asleep before 9. Awake at 2:17 am. Asleep again around 4:30, I think, and not very deeply. Gave up for good at 6:45.

I got out this morning early and wandered around outside in the early sunlight. Maybe that will help. Thing is, I'm not having a problem getting to sleep at night. It's all about waking up so effing early and being so very awake. I nearly got up this morning, because it seemed pointless to keep laying there. 

What I don't get is, I'm building up a sleep debt. I am not getting even 7 hours a night. I should be in a state where, if I sit still for too long, I fall asleep. That is not happening. Why?

So, today. Working from home. Will be getting outside at intervals, for sun. Once the day's over, I will be gardening a bit, I think. Getting another walk in. A couple of long walks this weekend, for sure. I think I will be doing some stress-reduction brainwave stuff this morning as well. It seems unlikely to be that, but what could be waking me up if not cortisol? And being the animals' sole support, especially early in the morning, is not exactly meditative. They're noisy and demanding, to say the least.

I may give some thought to decaf tea this weekend - I could probably get a small tin of decaf EB Twinings for work, and only have caffeine first thing in the mornings. I have decaf IB from Trader Joe's at the house that I could use for iced tea - that might be advisable.

Onward. Somehow.

Thursday

159.6 this morning; here's yesterday:

• tea with cream
• a slice of deli roast beef
• 3 pieces of aged gouda
• macadamia nuts
• a bag of M&Ms
• meatballs in brown gravy with sour cream
• several pieces of cheddar
• 1 square Lindt 85% chocolate

I think that was it. I made a cup of the gravy and poured it over the meatballs, but only ate what stuck to them - the rest was either given to the dogs for breakfast or poured out. Obviously the M&Ms were a bad move - boredom/stress eating on my part, definitely. 

I also went on a walk for 2+ miles at a reasonable pace, before dinner. Left me a bit lightheaded and hungrier than I was expecting. Don't know if that was a post-sugar thing or what, but I ate a lot of things trying to get out of it. I guess that's where the most recent half-pound came from.

It seems possible that, without my complete consent, I've given up sleep for lent. Partly a dog issue last night - she wanted out at 10-something and 12:45 am - but I still awoke at 2:10 am and was definitely still working on getting back to sleep at 4. The radio appears not to be the way to go. Aspirin was what ultimately helped last night, I think - toward the 4 timeframe, my toes were throbbing.  

Tonight's plan? Check the dog's glucose BEFORE dinner (it dropped to a dangerous level last night after her shot, and probably contributed to her wanderings), and have aspirin and water at bedside. See if that helps. Maybe take the aspirin at bedtime to start with.

Had cheddar (2 oz) for breakfast along with supplements (noticed some incipient foot cramps last night and thought I'd better get electrolytes); have Gouda (3 oz) and grapes at work. I hope that combo keeps me out of the machines today. I plan to repeat the walk tonight - weather should be better than yesterday as well - and maybe do 30 minutes of stress reduction brainwave entrainment this evening. Maybe. Something is not right, and there doesn't seem to be much I can do to put it right. Very dispiriting.

That lack of sleep thing

Today is Wednesday, obviously. I guess that's good, right?

Tuesday

First, here's yesterday:

• tea with cream
• the usual supplements
• scrambled eggs
• bacon
• 3 string cheeses
• a bunch of grapes
• macadamia nuts
• salad with feta, salami, olives, greek vinaigrette
• dark chocolate Ritter with hazelnuts - 4 "pips" (that's what Hershey's calls them) - maybe 2 oz
• 1 piece of aged gouda

That was it. I also went for a 2-mile walk yesterday and got in over 5,000 steps for the day (I do NOT know how anyone gets in 10,000 - or maybe my FuelBand is actually way inaccurate?). So, of course, logically, I should be in some ketosis by day's end, and should have lost weight.

Nope. Between Negative and Trace last night. 159.2 this morning. Too much salt in the salad? Exercise inflammation? Damned if I know.

Sleep started out well, but I woke up, too hot, at 10:56 pm. And was still awake at 1. I resorted to reading, since I was alone, and that did get me un-riled up enough to go back to sleep.  I think I know why I was too hot, though. Lee had decided to turn the heater "off" over the weekend, by setting the thermostat to a low temp and hitting "hold". The low temp was 63. Normally, our nights are set to 55, I believe. Anyway, I took it off hold; maybe that will help tonight. Although, I'm thinking seriously about a Benadryl - it's been quite a while since I've needed one, which is a very good thing. 

Plan for today? I had a slice of roast beef and tea for breakfast, not wanting to get out of bed into what was then a cold 63-degree room. I have cheese and macadamias here to deal with any mid-day hunger. And it's gray and raining (snowing a bit, too), so I don't know what the prospect for a walk tonight will be - but if it's even a little bit feasible, I'm going. I have to. I don't know what else I can do.

Tuesday

158.8 again today, a little surprising given the day's eating yesterday, but so be it. Sleep, at least, was better - I woke at 1:45 am briefly and again around 4. Way better than 3 hours tossing and turning, for sure.

Here's yesterday:

• tea with cream
• 3 string cheeses
• strawberries
• macadamia nuts
• salad with filet mignon, blue cheese, bacon, blue cheese dressing
• dark chocolate - 2 pieces
• chocolate salted almonds - 2
• a small handful of cashews

That was it. A really short list. Ketosis last night was solid Trace.

No exercise, as I thought. We ate, we packed, then Lee packed and I sat. He got off this morning and is on the road. And I'm at work. If his trip goes well, we may end up moving soon, which I think I'm happy about. I will miss summers here; not winters, and the winters seem like they're starting to really get a toehold. I would rather live somewhere that rains to avoid driving in snow anymore.

Anyway, I have 2 weeks. Time to get myself under control and eating healthy and moving again, after a hard winter. It's a bit brisk this morning, so I hope it will be somewhat warmer tonight, but regardless, I will be going for a walk before dinner. And eating at home. I might need to hit a grocery store occasionally, but I will not be leaving the house for any other reason. Reading stuff on paper after 7:30, with no TV. Working in the garden. Taking parts of an online course on my iPad before 7:30 pm. And figuring out how to sleep, when I can do some variations without bothering anyone else. I'm quite looking forward to it.

Monday

On Saturday morning, I weighed 157.2. We ate Chinese for dinner Saturday night. On Sunday morning, I weighed 159.2. This morning, 158.8. Think I'm going to be avoiding Chinese food for a while.

Got in a walk Friday evening and yesterday morning; we had too much else going on Saturday to get one done, but I did some gardening. I finally got some new Vibrams that both fit and lace up, and wore them on yesterday's walk - very comfortable and I think they'll work well on a 10K. I'll be wearing them a lot for the next couple of months. I hope to get a walk in tonight, but with Lee leaving in the morning for 2 weeks, I'm not sure it'll happen. Tomorrow, though...

So, here's yesterday:

• tea with cream
• the usual supplements
• egg, bacon, tomato, and cheese frittata
• half an avocado
• a large bunch of grapes
• a quantity of strawberries - probably 8-10 of them
• string cheese
• 3-4 tortilla chips with salsa
• 2 handfuls of cashews
• pork roast
• a glass of wine
• green beans
• fruit salad with mayonnaise dressing
• potatoes with cream of celery soup and cheese
• chocolate ice cream

Not a great day. We had dinner with my parents, and politeness outweighs health for a single dinner. At least the sugar I consumed before then was encapsulated in fruit. In any event, it's probably obvious that my ketosis at night was Negative.

No breakfast today. The dogs wanted out twice over night, waking Lee up fully both times, me only the latter - but my waking lasted until well past 4 (starting at 2:10). I've got string cheese and the last of my 4 pounds of strawberries with me to eat, and I had a Red Bull on the way to work. I will survive the day, but it may be a struggle.

Starting tomorrow, I won't call it a Whole 30 or Primal Challenge or anything like that, but I will be the master of my fate as far as diet is concerned. Going to stash the temptation foods somewhere weird so I won't see them and would have to go out of my way to eat them. Not going out to dinner - which by itself may be key to any success I might have. Going to eat a lot of salads. Probably going to skip breakfast, simply because it's too hard when I'm on my own with 5 hungry animals every morning. And I'm going to get walks in - even if short ones - every damn day unless it's blizzarding. So help me.

Friday

I got a walk in last night - at dinner time, I wasn't sure I wanted one, but Lee convinced me to hit the road instead of the gym. Good suggestion. I did about a mile and a half; it was cold, but felt good. Cooled me off for the rest of the evening, too - I came home, read a book, wrapped up in a blanket, and, I think, fell asleep fairly quickly, if lightly. Sleep, on the other hand, was weird. I woke up a couple of times and had a little trouble getting back to sleep, but was able to make my iPod work for getting back asleep. I was too cold a lot, and had night sweats a lot, and got uncomfortable from sleeping curled up in a ball. So not great. 

158.0 this morning. Here's yesterday:

• tea with cream
• the usual supplements
• scrambled eggs
• turkey sausage
• string cheese (3)
• salad with caesar dressing
• chicken piccata (I think)
• butter
• hamburger patty with cheddar and guacamole
• cottage cheese
• cashews (measured amount)

I think that was it. Not as short a list, but then, I don't eat lunch much, and we had a lunch meeting.

Weekend at last. And I'm hoping that working from home will be less stressful today than the rest of this week. I used my brainwave app twice yesterday - once for stress reduction, and once for an improvement in mood. If it worked, it was for an extremely short period, and I was feeling pretty done in and down by the end of the day. The walk is what helped. My plans today include doing it again. I'm still fighting the tight quads or hip flexors or whatever it is, but they did ease up over the course of last night's walk, and I'm in hopes they're on the way out.

Obviously, I didn't get a big salad last night; had to work later than usual, and Lee had an evening meeting, so we ate where his meeting was. Trying again tonight. It will be much easier to do this all-salad thing next week when it's just me. I just need to be mentally braced and committed to doing it - and I think I am, for me, but not strong enough to drag him with me right now.

Anyway, Tuesday after work, I will gather up all of the foods I don't want visible, and put them somewhere else for the time he's gone. Have a salad for dinner, and figure out breakfast and work-snacks (or not) options.

Thursday

So we went to the gym last night. I used one of my slower racewalk playlists, and got in just over a mile. Over the weekend, I did something to my quads or hip flexors - not sure which - and moving at speed hurts quite a bit. I hope that moving a mile at speed was enough to start the loosening up process a little - I don't feel any pain or stiffness unless I'm trying to bring a leg forward quickly from the back planted position in racewalking, so I can't tell.

Anyway, we got home, I was cold during the evening and read a book (not electronics), went to bed with the sub-lingual melatonin, and while I recall being briefly awake in the middle of the night, I don't know what time it was, I didn't have to resort to my iPod to get back to sleep, and the next thing I knew, the alarm was going off. I will be going back to the gym tonight, I believe, even if only to walk a mile. Probably after dinner, since Lee has a meeting of some sort at 6, which means eating early.

158.8 this morning; here's yesterday:

• tea with cream
• the usual supplements
• scrambled eggs
• bacon
• strawberries
• string cheese
• macadamias
• cheddar cheese
• chef's salad with blue cheese dressing
• single-serve Haagen-Dasz strawberry

That was it. The ice cream was the only problem, and I only ate it because Lee brought it out to me already unwrapped; I don't think I would have gone after it myself. Trace ketosis at bedtime.

Stress load is up today. We found out that both our dogs now have Cushing's disease, requiring medicine that, added up, will run us between $400 and $500 per month. Work is dispiriting, and it took me an hour and a half of driving to get to the job today. Thank goodness tomorrow is Friday so I can work from home (but with the dogs, who are being treated for lice and can't go back to day camp for 6 weeks). I need someone to leave me several million dollars so I can take some time for myself. That won't be happening, though, so I just keep going. I may listen to the stress reduction thingie on my phone; maybe that will help.

Wednesday

I think I've discovered a pattern. In a week where we got to the gym a lot, I slept like a solid pile of rocks. This week, when we haven't been to the gym yet, I'm sleeping like crap. Seems to me there might be a correlation, at least. So we're off to the gym tonight.

Woke up around 1:30. Still awake around 3. Too hot, too cold, too awake, all sorts of things.

159.8 this morning, here's yesterday:

• tea with cream
• the usual supplements
• 2 pieces of cheddar
• a few macadamias
• leftover soup (cold, because the microwave stopped working)
• salad with blue cheese dressing
• 1/2 pound turkey with mustard BBQ sauce
• a mint
• 2 Dove dark chocolates (pretty sweet; I don't know the carbage)

That was it. Another short list. And while we didn't quite do the big-ass salad for dinner, the ingredients were all there for me. I was quite hungry at dinner time, too. No substantive ketosis yet - Trace last night. 

Continuing with this eating pattern today, shooting for all week. Short list of food implies no snacking after dinner, and fewer opportunities for me to eat crap. I have string cheese and strawberries with me today to eat at work - partly to get the strawberries eaten before they go bad.

I do hope we really make the gym tonight. Didn't go last night because my thighs were in pain. One last blast from the gardening over the weekend - at least I hope it was one last blast.

Tuesday

Rough sleep last night. The dogs wanted out at midnight, I woke again at 2 am, and took somewhere between 30-60 minutes to get back to sleep. Still, I got back to sleep. Big improvement over last month. Nonetheless, I'm feeling a mite draggy this morning.

160.0 this morning. Here's yesterday:

• tea with cream
• the usual supplements
• scrambled eggs
• bacon
• macadamia nuts (tried to keep it under 20 total - I think I had about 15)
• vegetable beef soup, made with homemade stock
• cheese
• olives

That's a nice short list. Nothing on it but verifiable ingredients, too. And no added sugar - no natural sugar either. All good. But it makes me wonder if the draggy feeling has to do with low-carb flu. I wasn't much more than Trace ketosis at bedtime last night, so I don't think I'm very adapted - nor should I be, the way I've been quaffing sugar of late.

After yesterday, I'd made up my mind to go on a big-ass salad binge once Lee leaves for his trip next week. I told him that, and he saw no reason not to start now. So we will be having big-ass salads at dinner for the next few weeks. I need to spend time figuring out variations, so it doesn't get boring. Club, Cobb, Nicoise, Taco, Greek, etc. Might be useful to check my one Primal Blueprint cookbook for ideas, too.

No breakfast this morning - the dogs had to fast, and it seemed right to be in solidarity with them. Also easier since we wouldn't have to defend our food from them. I grabbed a couple of pieces of cheese on the way out the door, and with that and tea-with-cream, am not terribly hungry.

No exercise yesterday, other than a trip to Costco, which doesn't count. Maybe none today, either. I'm still pretty achy from the weekend, and maybe would benefit from another day of rest.

Monday

Good weekend. Great weather - warm, sunny, calm. I spent a chunk of yesterday on the chaise on the front porch, reading and soaking up sun. Got a minor sunburn on my arm, nothing on my legs. I still find this really interesting, since I used to burn so quickly.

Got a lot of exercise in as well - a walk on Saturday (outdoors!!!) as well as gardening both Saturday and Sunday. I finally got rid of the stiffness from sprinting last week - replaced by garden butt, or variants thereof.  My right knee feels a bit like it lost connective tissue - it seems to want to give a bit going backwards. But that is getting better as time passes.

Slept like a rock last night - well, I woke up briefly at 3 after a dream that was going somewhere I didn't want it to go - and made a conscious decision, in the dream, to get out of it. Kind of weird, actually. Woke up a bit abruptly as one of our dogs peed on the bed for some reason. He's at the vet this morning - and you'd better believe he got tested for blood glucose first. It was fine.

Eating could have been better. 160.4 this morning, which is down from yesterday and up from Friday (at least, I think it is). Yesterday went like this:

• tea with cream
• some supplements - fish oil, turmeric, magnesium, D3
• omelet with ham, cheese, veggies, and green chile (from the looks of it, thickened with corn starch)
• cheese
• strawberries - probably about a pound of them
• a very few cashews
• a bag of Frollicks - essentially, more cheese
• steak
• Southern-style green beans
• salad with blue cheese
• ice cream with cherries, almonds, and chocolate chips (Cold Stone)

That was it. Obviously the ice cream was a mistake - though more in quantity than anything, I guess. I need to get my sugar cravings under control, obviously. The strawberries were an attempt at that - I figured that fruit would be better than candy, as it is, with 2 cups of whole berries (I guess that's a pound) being a whopping 92 calories and 22.1 grams of carbs, with 5.8 of those being fiber. As for the ice cream, Lee likes to go get Cold Stone of a summer night, so I went along and had some. Last year, I stopped having some, but went for the ride, and I will go back to that pattern again.

I am going to start back getting myself into proper ketosis again. I think that I can lose some of this weight if I get hard into it and stay there for a couple of weeks, truly. And once there, it's not hard to stay. Does that mean Fat Fast? It might. I'm trying to decide. Lee will be leaving for New Orleans in about a week (ish), and when it's just me, I can get myself under control, I think. So this week will be working toward ketosis without the true fasting, and next week, once he's on the road, will be the full monty. I think that makes sense.

Friday

Late work night last night - got to bed around midnight. The melatonin saved me, I think, although I don't feel very saved this morning. Tired, achy, stiff (still!), vaguely "off", a mild sore throat. Some of it is lack of sleep. Some of it is eating those damn sugar eggs after dinner last night. Some of it caused me to take 3 vitamin D3 this morning, to fight off anything else it might be.

Anyway, 160.2 this morning. Yeah. Whatever. This seems to be a weight-gain period for me, probably due to stress. While I've stopped using the brainwave app to get to sleep, because it's too damn hard to keep the earphones in, I think I will start/resume using it for the stress reduction program at least on workdays. I was certainly fighting mad last night, and it led to the cashews. I need to stop eating them altogether.

Here's yesterday:

• tea with cream
• the usual supplements
• scrambled eggs
• bacon
• macadamia nuts
• 2 hamburger patties
• 2 zucchinis worth of parmesan zoodles (sour cream, butter, parmesan cheese)
• 4 sugar eggs
• cashews

That's the list. Definitely stress eating, at the end of the day. It could have been worse - I spent part of the evening working on jewelry-making tasks, keeping my hands occupied.

I probably need to do a fat percentage measurement - because my jeans still fit, and unless I'm feeling bloaty (something that's happened more recently, which I ought to give some thought to), so do my other pants and skirts. I've increased my walking speed, which should indicate more muscle mass, but I don't know. 

Should be a good weekend - decent weather both days. I have gardening plans, and I hope I can execute on them. Get some sun and fresh air, and get to what Tom Naughton calls "dog tired satisfied." If I can do that, the weekend will have been a success.

Thursday

At some point this week, Mark Sisson made an offhand remark in his blog that he found sprinting to be really effective for performance improvement or muscle growth or something. So last night, after I found that I wasn't going to be doing my second mile at anything approaching Sunday's pace, I thought I would try a few short sprints - just 1 side of the oval track that we walk indoors on. I did 4 of them, and the 4th was short of the length I'd achieved on the others. I wouldn't say I enjoyed them, but I was surprised at how fast I could run, and how well I had adapted to Vibrams for running, considering I don't run. Didn't think much about it after that.

As of this morning, I can say that sprinting is really effective for something - my hamstrings and quads and ankles are all really stiff, as are a few key core muscles. Crazy.  

158.8 this morning, probably partly because of that stiffness. Here's yesterday:

• tea with cream
• the usual supplements
• scrambled eggs
• bacon
• pulled pork BBQ with cole slaw
• macadamia nuts
• 2 pieces of cheddar cheese
• salad with ham, chicken, cheese, and a vinaigrette dressing (out of blue cheese)
• walnuts
• 2 sugar easter egg candies

That was it. Not too great, really. And obviously, I don't usually eat lunch, so that probably didn't help.

Sleep was kind of meh. Woke up shortly after midnight, again after 1, and then slept until 4:30. I was able to go back to sleep each time, but it was choppy and I didn't have the really long stretch like I've had the rest of the week. I don't know if it was because my legs hurt or what, although I took aspirin at bedtime specifically for that.

On my own this evening. I'll feed the dogs and maybe do a walk outside. For reals, my new Vibrams are supposed to arrive today, so maybe I can try them out.

Wednesday

I'm getting sleep, but I'm so damn sleepy it's nearly criminal. I'm fairly sure that if I were not at work, I could lay my head down where I sit and take a solid 2-hour nap right now. I really do hope this state gets a referendum on sticking to one time zone all year. I will vote for it, even if it means getting up 3 hours before sunrise in early December. Because this transition - both ways - just kills me.

I'm not sure why, but I'm down to 157.8 this morning. Here's yesterday:

• tea with cream
• the usual supplements
• scrambled eggs
• turkey sausage
• macadamia nuts
• naked burger with fresh jalapenos and pepper-jack cheese
• sweet potato fries with ketchup
• a chocolate truffle thingie

Maybe that's why - a short list, with no snacks. I spent the evening putting clasps on neck chains while watching TV. Tonight, I could put jump rings on pendants. Or clean the garden out - this weekend is basically St. Patrick's day, so I should be planting peas and lettuce and spinach, but there are dead plants all over from last summer to get out of there first.

No workout yesterday; Lee has PT on Tuesdays and ends up feeling poorly after. No idea what today holds in that area; we're going out to lunch, so maybe a light dinner.

And I meant it about getting sleep - another night of going to sleep shortly after 9 and not so much as twitching until 4. I got back to sleep soon after, as well. Maybe it's the melatonin, but I'm willing to stick with it for a couple of weeks if it will let me get through some of my sleep debt - or in this case, not add to it.

Tuesday

158.2 this morning - must have shed some water yesterday, although I don't recall anything memorable. Whatever. Still pretty sleepy this morning, although last night's sleep came under the heading of continuous. Roughly 10 pm until 4 am, I think, then I tossed a bit, fell back asleep, woke briefly to turn the alarm off, and finally woke at 6:10. I think it works out to 7-1/2 hours. Not bad, really.

Here's yesterday:

• tea with cream
• the usual supplements
• scrambled eggs
• turkey sausage
• paleo shepherd's pie (leftover from Saturday)
• macadamia nuts
• cobb salad with chicken, bacon, avocado, blue cheese crumbles, and some sort of vinaigrette
• single-serve Haagen-Dasz strawberry ice cream

A nice short list. I occupied bits of the evening working on jewelry making, which kept me from snacking. And we walked to dinner - first time we've been able to since last fall. It was only 1.3 miles, and slowly, but so nice just to be outside, not freezing, and only having to avoid goose poop, not ice.

In theory, I have a new pair of Vibrams (KSOs this time) arriving tonight. In reality, I don't think so - they only left Illinois yesterday, and have to get through the post office here before delivery. Probably tomorrow, if I were betting. I'm looking forward to them, in hopes that they fit properly for doing races in, so I can wear my Bolder Boulder chip on my shoelaces like everyone else. Also, my Jayas, which fit properly for racing in, are darn near bald on the soles.

I may go outside mid-day today, to get a bit of sun. Just because I can. Don't want to waste it, after all.

Correction

That mile yesterday was 10:01, not 11:01. I'm having serious difficulty believing it myself.

Monday

Weekend was good and bad, I think. Got to the gym on Sunday but not Saturday; we were busy and productive. And the sun was out. Big improvement, that.

159.4 this morning; here's yesterday:

• tea with cream
• omelet - 3 eggs, ham, cheese, tomatoes
• string cheese
• 2 pure sugar easter basket egg candies
• bean salad (kidney beans, mayo-based dressing)
• cottage cheese
• 4 corn fritters
• turkey breast
• mashed potatoes
• gravy
• cornbread dressing
• cranberry sauce
• a glass of white wine
• cheddar cheese

We went to White Fence Farm for dinner. Hence the "fixings". I only eat them there, and I do try to keep the intake fairly modest.

Set some more speed records at the gym yesterday - did my second mile at 11:01. Not bad. Resting on Saturday was a good choice, as it turned out.

Sleep has been okay. I've returned to melatonin at bedtime, and it seems to be helping enough. I'm dreaming a lot, waking slightly during the night, and able to get back to sleep. Which should be great, but it's the first week of Daylight Saving Time, which is always just awful. I'm really groggy this morning.

Gym tonight again, and salad for dinner. And back to sleep, I hope.

Labs

I meant to mention earlier this week that I got all my lab results back from the doctor. Perfectly normal, across the board, they say. I haven't asked to have them faxed to me to look for myself, just in case, but I'm not truly surprised - it was a just-in-case visit.

Friday

The end of a long week. The sun is out, the snow is melting, the weekend is supposed to be more of the same. Thank goodness. 

I'm doing more research on the topic of early waking insomnia; made another try at the deep sleep setting on the brainwave app, this time with slightly more comfortable earphones, and letting it go for 30 minutes at a stretch. It puts me to sleep quite effectively. But when it stops, even gently, I wake back up. Or I did last night.  Here's what I recall:

• 8:15, went to bed to read. Put the headphones in and started the app. Fell asleep before it ended
• 8:45, woke up, restarted it and fell back asleep. At some point woke enough to take the earphones out, but went back to sleep.
• 11:51, woke up, restarted it, turned off the waves noise that has been running with it, and put iHeart Radio on for an hour on the sleep timer. Fell asleep eventually, but woke up at some point after 12:21 and before 12:51. Took the earphones out and swapped to the pillow speaker and restarted the radio (I think). This may have occurred a couple of times before I fell asleep for good.
• 5:16, woke up after dreaming a lot. Left leg's IT band is painful.

So, about 3 hours sleep, an hour or so of thrashing, and then another 4-5ish hours. I guess that works out to 8. The new "more comfortable" earphones are a bit more comfortable, but are really loud. I think I can say confidently that the radio layered over the sleep tones works, but is too loud to do at all often - I would worry about losing my hearing. All that said, I am reasonably alert this morning - far better than yesterday.

159.6 this morning. Some of it was water, but some of it still is - my ankles were a mess last night. I guess all I can do is try hard to stay clean and avoid sugar. Ironic, because here's yesterday:

• tea with cream
• the usual supplements
• scrambled eggs
• bacon
• a few macadamia nuts
• broccoli cheese soup
• strawberries
• a piece of cheese
• Naked QDoba burrito with shredded beef, salsa, sour cream, guac, and cheese
• 1 giant jelly-bean egg (1"x2" pastel Easter candy egg with white stuff in the middle - no idea what the real name is)
• single-serving Haagen-Dasz strawberry ice cream

I didn't have honey at bedtime - and I didn't need it.  And I asked Lee to hide the bag of the eggs so I don't get any more until Easter itself. They're a particular addiction of mine - most folks find them disgusting and they're hard to find, so I jumped on them yesterday.

Did a slower 2-mile walk yesterday, working on racewalk technique. I think that's what tweaked my IT band; I realized that my left leg was not straight on landing and was working to get it to be straight. I thought it was tight hamstrings at the time - and I suppose it could be. Anyway, I can't recall if I woke any earlier than 5:16 this morning because of the pain, but I may have, a bit. 

Another weekend. Maybe one with nicer weather. I would like that.

Thursday

What. The. Hell?

First, here's yesterday:

• tea with cream
• the usual supplements
• one portion of berry crumble from a Primal Blueprint recipe - berries, nuts, butter, vanilla, spices
• 2 pieces of cheese
• bacon
• fat-fast broccoli soup
• cashews
• 4 pieces low-carb crust pepperoni pizza
• 2 dark chocolates
• 1 tsp honey

So. Very unsweet fruit, veggies (broccoli and mushrooms and bell peppers), nuts, bacon, pepperoni, cheese, and a bit of chocolate. The end result? 160.4 this morning. And, for what it was worth, no ketosis last night - none. I'm not doing something right, but I don't know what. So annoying.

Benadryl last night, so I slept deeply. I could use some more. I guess I should reserve it for Friday and Saturday nights, so I could have the option of sleeping in the next morning.

Walked another 2.something miles at the gym last night at an 11:something pace on average. I've been getting slower each trip this week, though. Not quite sure why; that doesn't seem to be the way it's supposed to work.

For the record, I've pretty much abandoned my challenge. Just not working right now.

At least the sun is out today, and no snow in the forecast for the next 10. About damn time.

Wednesday

159.4 this morning, and no appreciable sleep last night. It's cold and snowy. Hell sucks.

Here's yesterday:

• tea with cream
• the usual supplements
• scrambled eggs
• turkey sausage
• macadamia nuts
• naked double cheese burger with bacon, tomato, and pickles
• fries (sigh)
• cashews
• 2 dark chocolate peanut butter cups
• 1 tsp honey

Working from home today, so I will have to watch the snacking, I guess. Maybe olives. I will have my fat-fast broccoli soup for lunch. Obviously we still haven't had the LC pizza - that's planned for tonight, after going to the gym. Which I have to do, because it's the only thing I feel like I can maybe control.

Tuesday

I took Benadryl last night. And did the "deep sleep" track on the brainwave app. And woke - albeit briefly - before midnight. Persistent, isn't it? Anyway, I am a bit groggy this morning - medicine head - but feel more rested than I have in a while, so that's good.

158.0 again this morning; here's yesterday:

• tea with cream
• 2 Primal Palate egg custards with bacon and mushrooms and cheese in
• Fat Fast broccoli cheese soup
• macadamia nuts
• about 10 strawberries
• chips and salsa and guac
• 3-stack flat cheese enchiladas (i.e., 3 tortillas)
• 1 tsp honey

Short list, great start, poor dinner choices. After a workout, for what that's worth; I hope some of the carbs made it into muscles looking to top off their glycogen.

Instead of lowish-carb pizza for dinner, I convinced Lee to go to REI so I could try on some other models of Vibrams before buying them online (he was looking for sandals, so it wasn't all about me), and we ate out. I could have said no to Mexican, but I didn't.

This was all after the gym; I did another 2-mile walk in an average under 12:00/mile, so that's a good thing. In the wrong shoes, though - the seam (I think) is rubbing the bottom of my heel and I nearly got a blister. I'd already made up my mind to get the new shoes in time to get them comfy for the Bolder Boulder, but that cemented the deal - the newer of my current Vibrams are great to schlepp around in, but not at all good for racing.

Monday

Day 2 of my own personal challenge - currently, the structure for it is in place for a week-long thing, but if I manage 1 week, I'll go for 2. I guess it's going okay. We got to the gym all weekend, which is a very good thing. Shoot, I managed a sub-11:00 mile yesterday; best time since I started logging walks on the Nike Running app.

158.0 this morning; here's yesterday:

• tea with cream
• bacon-cheese omelet with pork green chile on it, and sour cream
• a very few chunks of potato
• 2 pieces of cheddar
• broccoli cheese soup (the Fat Fast recipe)
• walnuts
• 2 dark chocolate peanut butter cups
• pot roast
• potatoes and carrots
• a single-serve cup of Strawberry Haagen Dasz
• 1 tsp honey

If I had to do it over again, I'd have punted on the potatoes, maybe, and I would have been stronger about the chocolate. Otherwise, a pretty good eating day.

Sleep? um, yeah. I'm trying. I'm mostly failing again. No good night all weekend - figures, now that I'm done with the doctor's appointment. Last night, I did the "deep sleep" track on the brainwave app twice, then listened to a historical one-hour playlist, at the end of which I think I did drift off. Woke up some time later and put on iHeartRadio for a one-hour snooze, drifted back off (quickly enough that I can't tell you either what time it was or what was on). Woke up some time later and finding it was off, turned it on again and drifted in and out from then until 5:18, when I woke up for good. Bad about the night: that I kept waking up. Hot flashes this time, I believe. Good: that I generally fell back asleep quickly. And pretty deeply - at least once, I woke up and found one of my hands asleep, which means I was stuck in one position for fairly long. No dreams - not even the recollection that I was dreaming. That's not good. Anyway, I guess if you add it all up, I probably got just barely over 7 hours. Ugh. I'm not too bad this morning, so it was at least somewhat effective. But I think a Benadryl night is in my near future.

I had an invitation to do the Peachtree again this summer. I'm seriously considering it. But it would be for fun only; I'll do the Bolder Boulder for time. Speaking of which, I plan to get into the gym again tonight, even if I have to go alone. I think we're doing cheese-egg crust pizza for dinner tonight. And I have more broccoli soup for lunch. And strawberries.