Friday

Sigh.

This week has been pretty much a fiasco. Stressful, completely useless on the sleep front, and weight-gaining. 159.8 this morning. I mean, really? W. T. F.? Here's yesterday:

• tea with cream
• supplements (pretty much everything except the multi-vitamin)
• cheddar cheese
• a Red Bull (safety while driving to work)
• a bunch grapes that fit into a sandwich ziploc
• 3 pieces of aged gouda
• macadamia nuts
• taco salad (ground beef, cheese, sour cream, lettuce, tomato, taco sauce)
• 2 squares of Lindt 85%
• dried nectarines (very tough and slow eating, so less than a full nectarine's worth)

That was it. I did not walk last night, and I was in bed before 8 pm, being just that tired. Asleep before 9. Awake at 2:17 am. Asleep again around 4:30, I think, and not very deeply. Gave up for good at 6:45.

I got out this morning early and wandered around outside in the early sunlight. Maybe that will help. Thing is, I'm not having a problem getting to sleep at night. It's all about waking up so effing early and being so very awake. I nearly got up this morning, because it seemed pointless to keep laying there. 

What I don't get is, I'm building up a sleep debt. I am not getting even 7 hours a night. I should be in a state where, if I sit still for too long, I fall asleep. That is not happening. Why?

So, today. Working from home. Will be getting outside at intervals, for sun. Once the day's over, I will be gardening a bit, I think. Getting another walk in. A couple of long walks this weekend, for sure. I think I will be doing some stress-reduction brainwave stuff this morning as well. It seems unlikely to be that, but what could be waking me up if not cortisol? And being the animals' sole support, especially early in the morning, is not exactly meditative. They're noisy and demanding, to say the least.

I may give some thought to decaf tea this weekend - I could probably get a small tin of decaf EB Twinings for work, and only have caffeine first thing in the mornings. I have decaf IB from Trader Joe's at the house that I could use for iced tea - that might be advisable.

Onward. Somehow.