Thursday

157.0 this morning. Not particularly surprised. Mid-day yesterday, some work stuff hit my stress point, and I added a bag of M&Ms and a bag of Skittles to my diet. Went home and ate meatloaf and cauliflower and chocolate. So I didn't exactly hit that "healthy" target yesterday.

Last night was the second night of complete shit sleep. Same exact pattern - woke around 1 am, tossed and turned for about 2 hours, slept fitfully from 3-5:30ish. And this was on melatonin and honey at bedtime.

Suffice it to say that I have felt better in previous times. I'm operating now on tea and RedBull, and it's not helping much. No breakfast this morning because my stomach hurt - as it did for about half an hour during my midnight wakefulness. Probably reacting to the crap I ate yesterday.

When I was still sane yesterday, I bagged up some cheese and strawberries to bring with me today to help ward off the urge for M&Ms. And I got it here. I hope it helps. I have eaten one of the pieces of cheese I brought, since I was a bit hungry.

Supposedly this insomnia pattern I'm describing is textbook menopause. It has bad side-effects in that it messes with ghrelin and leptin levels, which can trigger weight gain. Somehow, I'm not terribly surprised to learn that. And, come to think of it, after eating actual lunch the other day, I spent the afternoon starving - growling stomach and all - and I have noticed that I want a lot of food at meals lately - dinner last night included probably 2/3 of a head of cauliflower with boursin and parmesan on it. Exactly what one would expect if leptin and ghrelin were out of whack.

I need, at some time when I have a functional brain (this could be a very vicious circle), to come up with a better plan for improving sleep that doesn't involve Benadryl on a regular basis. However, I think tonight's sleep will involve Benadryl - 2 of them, to make sure it takes. Because this shit is killing me.

Ham and something for dinner tonight - maybe baked sweet potatoes, if Lee feels well enough to go buy a couple. We're both a pathetic hot mess this week - I'm very glad we were able to get nearly all our Christmas shopping done.