Friday

157.2 this morning; here's yesterday:

• scrambled eggs
  
• turkey sausage
  
• tea with cream
  
• the usual supplements
  
• macadamia nuts (half what I bring when I fast breakfast)
  
• a vending bag of peanuts (boredom snacking)
  
• a piece of cheddar cheese
  
• low-carb pepperoni pizza (1/2 pizza)
  
• dark chocolate with almonds
  
• 1 tsp honey
  

I didn't have an urge to snack after dinner, which is good for a change. But I'm obviously still fighting weight I don't want. And the hot flashes have returned at night - and are nearly constant just now - I'm having a brutal time trying to sleep between that and Lee's cold (snoring, hacking, choking, etc). I woke up so many times last night I lost count - starting before midnight, I'm pretty sure. I'm not as sleepy as I was yesterday, but it wasn't good.

I think I'm going to the gym tonight, probably alone. Maybe also Sunday. I read somewhere that exercise might help with the flashes. Better that than herbs, I think. And I need to improve my strength, still.

Thursday

My feet did swell up yesterday; not as much as while in New Orleans, but more even than what I've considered annoying-but-normal over the past few months. Better this morning, but still more than that threshold, so I think there's still water to be lost there. 156.6 this morning.

Sleep was rough last night - I did a modified fat fast for the day with dinner, and for some reason, it tripped the leg cramps. I was up at least twice, possibly more (sometimes, I leap from the bed and stomp out a cramp without waking up). I had "honey-quality" sleep, though, so what I got was pretty good. We crashed well before 9, and I woke up about 3:30 again, with a very short nap after my alarm went off 2 hours later. Lee has a cold, which doesn't help either; he was either snoring or hacking a good bit during the hours I was awake and trying not to be. I'm sleepy this morning, which is unusual for me - and I was sleepy yesterday afternoon, which is so rare that it sort of freaked me out.

Here's yesterday:

• tea with lots of heavy cream
  
• the usual supplements (these days, that's fish oil, magnesium, biotin, potassium, D3, and K)
  
• macadamia nuts throughout the day
  
• meatballs and spaghetti sauce with mozzarella
  
• salad with balsamic vinaigrette
  
• very dark chocolate with almonds - 3 squares
  
• cashews - I didn't do a measured serving, but got tired of them quickly, so I don't think it was a lot
  
• 1 tsp honey
  

That was it. Eggs and sausage for breakfast this morning, and macadamias if I get hungry. 

I would like to say we're going to the gym tonight, but I don't think we are. Maybe tomorrow.

Also, I am getting ready to order a crock and weights to do home ferments - the Cooling Inflammation blog has convinced me we need homemade sauerkraut and pickles, and I need the equipment to do it right.

Wednesday (aka "vacation +1")

That was fun. As always, really. We ate - a lot, not all that well, so I am actually rather pleased to see only 157.8 this morning. Bread, breaded food, stuffed eggplant, roux, a beignet, trail mix, potato chips, king cake, pie crust - I think that's the list... Nope, also gummy bears. 

My feet swelled up like balloons, and didn't really settle down until this morning - and I'm not sure they aren't about to do it again; they feel a bit suspicious.

I won't go into details of yesterday's eating; we will be starting down the straight and narrow again as of today.

I slept fairly well without honey while we were gone, considering nasty hotel beds and flat pillows and weird lighting. Back to the honey last night, and slept from shortly after 9 until 3:44. Unfortunately, at that time, I noticed a funny beeping noise going off occasionally, and by the time I'd tracked it down and made it stop (the phone battery was dying), I was wide awake.

What else? Driving for 8-10 hours produces 2500 fuel points on my wristband. Not useful, really. I almost had a streak going, but opted not to do anything silly to get the final 100 points last night. My knees were almost not up to the challenge of this vacation, which I'm not happy about - we will be working on that at the gym, probably starting tonight or tomorrow.

As our friend Chuck remarked on Sunday, we have got all the carbon cleared out of our souls again for the year. And we will go back next year.

Tuesday

155.0 this morning and not surprised; here's yesterday:

• tea with extra cream
  
• macadamia nuts (possibly more than usual but I don't know for sure)
  
• taco salad - 1/2 pound grassfed beef, lettuce, tomato, cheese, sour cream, salsa
  
• a bunch of dark chocolate cherries - probably 8 or 10
  
• 1 tsp honey
  

Stress. I'm leaving on vacation this afternoon, and had some scrambling and list making to do last night and was eating the cherries to avoid doing any of it. It all got done, even the stuff this morning, and I'm as ready to go as I can think to be. As is the house ready for our house sitter.

More cream and macadamias today; I will probably have some sort of McNaked burger for dinner at the airport. After that, I'm in New Orleans for 5 days followed by 2 on the road, and all bets are off. I will try to keep things reasonable, but,... roux.

Monday

Going to be one of those days, I guess - Gmail is unreachable from work, although my phone seems fine reaching it. Fortunately, I always have a Plan B. So, let's see. How are things going?

Overall, things are a bit weird. On Friday, my sleep spoiled by 2 hours of dog whining, I had a minor breakdown, resulting in my family changing the start date of the dogs' stay at the kennels to Saturday. I took them there around 10 Saturday morning and subsequently had a quiet weekend. I did not realize how high maintenance they are, even compared with Chelsea, our previous dog. I found myself in the shower at one point, realizing that I didn't need to worry about what had been eaten when I got out. Our dogs are a lot like 2-year-olds, really. Anyway, I got a lot of rest, and am feeling a lot better than I did Friday, and I'm sure they are happy and well cared for. 

As regards eating, my weekend was utter crap. I think I ate a total of 2 "meals" all weekend, and just snacked a bunch. Not only that, but snacked on cashews and chocolate covered cherries from TJs and cheese. Those three items pretty much describe my diet all weekend, with the exception of leftover LC pizza as Saturday lunch, and a cheeseburger patty and sauerkraut as dinner last night. Surprisingly, most of the water weight is gone and my ankles feel nice and thin and bony, and I weigh 154.2 this morning. Which is down from Friday. My jeans also feel roomy, which they haven't in a while. Good timing, since our Mardi Gras stuff starts Wednesday (I fly out tomorrow!!!).

No food log from yesterday; I would certainly forget key things. Today is a heavy cream and macadamia morning with something composed of hamburger for dinner - probably a taco salad, to clean out the fridge.

Friday

Morning Faces cannot overcome the 3 am dog. Not the Black Dog; a real one, white with black spots and a dislike for sleeping all night in his crate. 3 am, he starts moaning softly. He's done this the past 2 nights, and I am adamant; he's staying put. He's also adamant - the noise went on for over 2 hours, even with me letting him outside and forcing him back into his crate afterwards. I am as cranky as I have been in my life right now. 

155.0 this morning as well. A gut full of waste products, partly, but I think the message is clear. I am not losing weight. I am not going to lose weight. I am a menopausal woman, and weightloss is not allowed. 

Fine. I will do my best to stay healthy, but maybe it's time to stop getting on the scale every morning. Decent time to try, anyway, since I'm leaving town on Wednesday. 

Here's yesterday:

• tea with cream (extra)
  
• the usual supplements
  
• macadamia nuts
  
• low-carb crust pizza with pepperoni - I ate 3/4 of one.
  
• about 8 dark-chocolate covered coconut pieces
  
• 1 tsp honey
  

I wasn't snacky last night, but no idea if there was sufficient protein in my diet yesterday. I had planned to fat fast through the weekend and start eating a veg-heavy approach on Monday; maybe I will still do that, but in the meantime, I need to get some meat in me. Maybe taco salad tonight.

For all the dog aggravation, SleepCycle thinks I slept well. It doesn't show me as awake between 3 and 5, even though I was. I know who I can thank for that. Wonder if I could do a reset on it? I think I just have time.

Thursday

First, N=1 progress readouts. I wore the ski goggles again last night, this time, surfing Twitter on my iPad and watching TV. While it's obvious that they're changing the color spectrum I'm seeing, I wasn't noticeably sleepier at all and still took about 1/2 hour to get to sleep once I turned the lights out. Everything I've read has indicated that this works almost immediately, and they're inconvenient (moreso after Jack took them and chewed on them and removed some of the foam yesterday), so I think I'm going to suspend that experiment. I may retry in future with real blu-blockers, but I think the ski goggles are a bust.

Also unfortunately, Jack woke up at 1 am and started whining, then got on the bed and started barking at nothing for a while, so my sleep was somewhat shit. I woke up around 11:30 as well, for no obvious reason (maybe heat?), and was awake before the Sleep Cycle alarm went off. Still got a 94% rating for sleep. Now, if I could just get a night completely alone, maybe I'd sleep well - and maybe it would be so odd that I'd not sleep at all. I feel rested, for what that's worth.

Finally, the morning faces thing. After waking up around 4:45 or whenever it was and feeling cani-cidal (i.e., wanting to kill the damn dog), I figured that it wasn't working. And I think the jury is still out, but once I got up and got lights on and did the usual animal feeding morning stuff, I found that I felt very brisk and efficient and, while not happy, exactly, more upbeat. So I did more of it this morning - it feels quite stupid to sit there and stare at these talking heads with the sound off (I dont much care about the content, just the visuals), but if it's useful especially on these alone days, well, at least nobody's there to see me looking looney.

153.8 this morning; here's yesterday:

• tea with extra cream
  
• macadamia nuts (about 1/2 cup total)
  
• two hamburger patties with cheddar cheese and TJ's green salsa
  
• 2 squares of Ritter dark chocolate with hazelnuts (the last of the bar)
  
• a small handful of cashews
  
• some cheese - about 3 pieces, I think
  
• 1 tsp honey
  

The meat helped. I think I need more protein than I can get from cheese and salami, and I go on the weird rampages to get it. Definitely didn't want to snack as much last night as the night before.

I am likely to be up late tonight, and even if I'm not, I think I'm going to be firmer with Jack about staying in his kennel at night. I really need him not to whine at 1 am. Also, not to let Roscoe out of his kennel the instant the radio goes off (twice now in 2 nights).