Monday

Good weekend. I am feeling much better, finally - a lot of the inflammation and general aches and pains has finally gone! 153.2 to boot, and I can feel my anklebones. And I slept well last night, despite initially thinking I wouldn't. So that's all good. Here's yesterday:

• scrambled eggs with melted butter
  
• bacon
  
• tea with cream
  
• cheese
  
• about 1/2 cup cashews
  
• 1 Toblerone
  
• 2 squares dark chocolate
  
• 6 dark-chocolate covered coconut chunks
  
• baked "ziti" with cauliflower standing in for the pasta (terrific!)
  
• salad with blue cheese dressing
  
• 1 tsp honey
  

The dark chocolate was eaten after dinner, not before, but I was on a roll listing chocolate, so it went with the list. The baked ziti was an inspiration while cooking yesterday morning - Elizabeth had seen a ziti recipe being made on Pioneer Woman Saturday and was sort of drooling over it, and I had a bunch of leftover Italian sausage from last weekend, and a bag of frozen cauliflower. I have made cauliflower-based "mac and cheese" before and it was awesome, so figured we could do the same with ziti. That's a keeper - even with not having any ricotta and substituting whipped cream cheese instead (no idea if it's a valid officially recognized "substitute" for ricotta or not, but it worked).

In any event, I barely made "Trace" ketosis by bedtime, and wasn't sure I was going to be able to get to sleep at all quickly - I was only a little sleepy at the time - but slept like a rock, even with Lee getting up multiple times overnight (hist report; I don't recall it at all) and thrashing a lot. I can actually see his night on my Sleep Cycle graph - despite not even rousing until after 4, it has multiple near-waking spikes throughout the night. I'm honestly not sure I even moved.

We have a Paleo Shepherd's pie for dinner (using boursin cheese in the cauliflower for the crust - yum!), and I have more of the "ziti" for lunch. Lee and Elizabeth head for the warmth tomorrow from work and I'm on my own for a week - in which I'm going to experiment wearing my ski goggles to blu-block in the evenings and use Sleep Cycle as my alarm clock and a bunch of other stuff. N only equals 1 when I'm not bothering my family with it, after all.

Friday

Worked out last night - more than I thought, apparently, considering the degree of stiffness I have today. I'm achy enough to have had less than wonderful sleep (although it was still pretty darn good). The session included a 1.05 mile walk in 13:40 which is far slower than it should be, but improving, and upper body machine weights, not quite to exhaustion this time - or possibly I was at exhaustion earlier than on Monday. In any event, my back hurts, my arms hurt, my neck hurts, my feet hurt (swollen feet and ankles again right now, for reasons that escape me). I just took a couple of Advil to try to get ahead of it.

155.4 this morning, so with the swelling going on, I'm actually feeling somewhat encouraged. Here's yesterday:

• tea with cream
  
• the usual supplements
  
• macadamia nuts (about 1/2 cup throughout the day, eaten when hungry)
  
• cheese
  
• naked bacon cheese burger with tomatoes and pickles, ketchup and mustard
  
• cole slaw
  
• white zinfandel - a small glass
  
• 3 pieces of chocolate-covered coconut (sweetened, so not the greatest stuff)
  
• 2 squares of Lindt 85%
  
• 1 tsp honey
  

A little shy of veg, but generally not a gad day. I was at solid "Trace" ketosis at bedtime - hoping for more, but the wine probably didn't help. This morning I did extra cream in my tea, though not to the extent of the other day, and am continuing with the macadamias. Not sure what we'll do for dinner, but will try to think of something good for us before we hit that point.

In the meantime, ow.

Thursday

My ankles are a bit swollen and sore again this morning, and my weight reflects it - 155.8. Here's yesterday:

• tea with cream
  
• the usual supplements
  
• turkey sausage
  
• shredded pork BBQ with Dreamland BBQ sauce (not very sweet)
  
• a tangerine
  
• one macadamia nut
  
• taco salad with grassfed beef, sour cream, cheese and TJ's green salsa
  
• cheese
  
• 2 squares of Lindt 85%
  
• 1 tsp honey
  

That was it. I'm doing a part-day fat fast again this morning; I've had a spoonful of cream cheese (not hardly any, really; it was the whipped stuff) so far, and have macadamias for throughout the day. Then I'll eat whatever we end up with for dinner; I rather like the pattern as a way to get good fat going on and the veg to keep the gut happy.

I meant to mention yesterday that the ketones from Tuesday were at Moderate.  I had them at Small last night, I think, or strong Trace, and expect them to hit Moderate again tonight.

Gym tonight - another fast mile and weights, I think. Twice a week, and make sure to add weight whenever feasible, and I'll get some good strength gains.

Wednesday

Not much to report today. I'm down to 155.0, my carb cravings have remained suppressed, and my sleep last night was decent, if not perfect - I woke up at 11:14 and 2:30 and 4:00 but went right back to sleep after each time, and I feel rested this morning. I do have a wry neck though, which is going to make my day rather long - that, and 5 meetings, starting in 10 minutes. Ugh.

Here's yesterday:

• tea with a lot of cream
  
• macadamia nuts
  
• cheese
  
• pork tenderloin
  
• collard greens cooked with smoked pork shanks
  
• two squares of Lindt 85%
  
• a very small handful of cashews
  
• 1 tsp honey
  

That was it. Other than my neck being stiff, I'm feeling pretty good; the exercise seems to have been recovered from. Planning to do the gym again tomorrow for more; I really want to improve my strength.

Tuesday

Well, huh. My menopause has, er, paused, I guess, explaining a whole lotta stuff that's been going on since Christmas and allowing me to shed more weight (water) yesterday. I'm down to 155.2 this morning and damn glad to see it. My ankles feel relatively normal, which, unfortunately, means that what's left must be actual weight. But I did some more research yesterday and have some ideas that might help with that.

First, it appears that menopause is accompanied by crazy bad carb cravings - the sort of thing that would lead a girl to make an effort to find and eat potato chips of an afternoon, not once but twice. That would provide her with a little voice in her brain that spent a solid month muttering "I want cookies!". Stuff like that. According to something I read on Nora Gedgaudas' blog, the cravings may be a search for improved serotonin levels, and I may be able to circumvent them with supplemental L-tryptophan. I'm going to try that, see what happens. As soon as I can get to a store that sells the stuff - probably Natural Grocers somewhere. So that's step 1.

Second, I read, probably on Bill Lagakos' blog, that melatonin suppresses metabolic rate, and that helps us survive without as much food during winter (darker earlier and longer means more melatonin production). I've been supplementing with it regularly for the past year as a sleep aid, but I think I can go with just honey (tried that last night with no problem), and maybe try a bit of blue-blocking (using my amber-lensed ski goggles) in the evening to keep my natural production from being wiped out by the TV.

So a plan - another plan. I'm feeling a bit more hopeful just now, which is either faith in the plan or the end of a long and obnoxious bout of PMS. Or both.

Here's yesterday:

• scrambled eggs
  
• turkey sausage
  
• tea with cream
  
• the usual supplements
  
• cheese
  
• macadamia nuts
  
• shrimp sauteed with peppers, mushrooms, and tomatoes, in butter and olive oil, over zoodles
  
• two squares (1/4 bar) of Lindt 85%
  
• 1 tsp honey
  

I don't THINK I had any toblerones yesterday, but I might have. We went to the gym after dinner, which kept me from sitting around eating mindlessly - but the urge to do so has subsided a bunch. I walked a mile using my progressive speed playlist and did my weight circuit as well - pushing most of the exercises as close to muscle exhaustion as I could. Bit sore this morning, which is a good thing. 

Pork tenderloin and collard greens for dinner tonight - to try, anyway. I'm crock potting the latter with pork hocks and a bit of garlic olive oil. They're supposed to be seriously good for us; we shall see. If I can't eat them, I will have sauerkraut, I think. Other than that, I'm trying a semi fat fast day - heavy cream in excess for breakfast (the tea was almost chewy), and two servings of macadamias to eat at work when (and only when!) I get hungry.

Monday

It was hormones. Trust me; I've been presented with concrete evidence. Now, if I can use the (I hope!) diminution of carb cravings and the loss of water weight to start some real fat loss, I will be quite happy. The carb urges seem already to have reduced; I had a couple of pieces of chocolate mid-day yesterday, but didn't feel the need to have more. I think. Now I'm starting to think maybe I had some later on as well, maybe as dessert for dinner. 

In any event, 156.4 this morning, so down over 2 pounds from last week's high. I still feel bulgy, but am not sure what the substance of the bulginess is. Here's yesterday as I can recall it:

• tea with cream
  
• omelet with ham and peppers and onion
  
• bacon
  
• two Toblerone minis
  
• a handful of cashews
  
• some cheese - I attempted to make chips out of baked cheddar, and ate some of the results as well as a piece or two of regular cheddar
  
• cashews - in a small dish, two handfuls
  
• low-carb crust pizza with pepperoni, mushrooms, bell peppers
  
• two more Toblerone minis (maybe)
  
• 1 tsp honey
  

Yesterday was just weird. We breakfasted out, did a few errands, finished our taxes (one stressor removed for the year - and we get a refund!), and vegged. Lee and Elizabeth went out for a while after that but I stayed home - didn't eat, I ironed. We had tentative plans to watch the Super Bowl, but never ended up bothering, so I watched episodes of Downton Abbey on iTunes on my iPad all evening, but did not eat. It was very un-memorable.

Sleep last night was also weird - I wasn't wound down when we went to bed - stopped watching Downton mid-episode - and woke up at 2:30, still un-relaxed. It took about an hour to get to sleep from that waking, but I slept pretty well after that, and feel fairly well rested this morning. 

We did get to the gym over the weekend, much needed. I hope to go tonight, but don't know if that's in the plans. Sauteed shrimp and veggies for dinner.

Friday

Still swollen.  I tried an epsom salts bath last night, but nothing. 158.8 again today, and sore and bulgy in places like ankles. Here's yesterday (nothing to brag about):

• tea with cream
  
• scrambled eggs
  
• turkey sausage
  
• the usual supplements
  
• Jimmy John's unwich with turkey, bacon, and cheese
  
• a bag of potato chips
  
• another bag of potato chips
  
• cheese
  
• 3 Fuzzy's ground beef tacos, no tortillas
  
• 1 tsp honey
  

Obviously, I chose to eat the potato chips - both involved effort; they weren't just sitting around. They tasted quite good. I don't know why I felt I needed them, but I did. 

Sleep last night was interrupted by the dog again - same scenario, but at 1:45 rather than 4, so my sleep was worse. I still feel like I'm getting rest, but I'm so tired right now it's not at all funny.