Wednesday

Wretched sleep last night - 2 days in a row that I woke up in the middle of the night and never really got back to sleep. Ugh. Lots of audio - on, but I napped through a good chunk of it. Also a leg cramp, I think. Might have dreamt that.

We figured out why. Lee had the heat on 2 days ago because it was cold out, and at night, it doesn't get cold enough for me to sleep at all well, unless we have the A/C on. So tonight, if it's not already, I turn the A/C on around 8. Talk about a 21st century problem...

158.2 this morning. Eating a bit more properly right now. Here's yesterday:

• tea with cream
  
• the usual supplements
  
• bacon
  
• cheese (3 pieces of cheddar)
  
• walnuts (rather a lot)
  
• chicken breast meat
  
• green beans
  
• a single serve Haagen-Dasz coconut pineapple ice cream
  
• a coconut flour banana nut muffin with butter
  

I think that was it. The muffins are surprisingly good - just bananas to sweeten them, so not very sweet. Had one for breakfast with more bacon this morning. They rose nicely as well - I tried a trick in the recipe of setting the oven higher than baking temp to start with, then turning it down as soon as they went in - I'm guessing that bakes the outsides a bit more early on, or something. Anyway, they're a keeper.

No exercise this week; mentally tired, and with shit sleep, physically sleepy. Just trying to eat sanely.

Monday

A nice, productive weekend. In which I ate too much. 160.2 this morning, which is annoying. I had popcorn yesterday, so I shouldn't be surprised, though.

No real walking, but we did things like plant herbs, recover chairs, sew a little, run errands, and cook a lot. I made ham broth, chicken broth, arancello (started it anyway), and lemon and orange extracts. And we got the sous vide steak thing to work - perfect medium rare meat for dinner last night, with roast brussels sprouts. And I made lotion bars, and we went to a movie. And to our new Costco that doesn't take a trek to get to.

I'm feeling pretty chuffed at life this morning, in general. And it's a nice sunny day after a chilly sort of weekend (sunny, but windy and cool). The first week of getting used to the stupid time change is over, and Easter is next weekend. Oh, and I have Friday off from work, as a holiday. Weird.

Fasting today, mostly because I wasn't hungry at breakfast. I'm mildly hungry now, so I don't know how long it will last. I'd say I'm at 15 hours right now, so on the brink of autophagy.

Friday

I had a chicken caesar salad last night for dinner. And then chocolate almonds, cashews, and strawberry ice cream. Gained back the weight lost the night before. 159.4 this morning.

Sleep should have been good - woke briefly at 3 am, turned on audio, and didn't stir until 5:30 - but I don't feel rested. When the alarm went off I was awake-ish, but wanted desperately to go back to sleep. It's dark and foggy outside, and I'm very glad it's Friday.

My neck is sore. And my back and ribs and shoulders. I spent quality time last night laying on a golf ball trying to get my right shoulder calmed down, and I do think it worked - it no longer hurts to drive, anyway. 

No walking yesterday; unusual for me, but I was outright sleepy when I got home. We went out to dinner (hence the salad; that's going to be my default plan going forward), came home and ground up deli chickens for the dogs' food, and watched TV (and, for me at least, ate).

Weekend plans involve a trip to Costco (so exciting, I know, but one is finally opening near our house), a bit of gardening, and some woodwork refinishing. We were going to New Orleans for a party with some friends, but the highway there is closed due to flooding, and the dog's blood sugar is all over the place. I think that's a 21st Century sentence. And staying home means I'll be better rested on Monday; our plan was to get home around 11 Sunday night.

Thursday

I'm not getting around to blogging this week. It's possible that this has served its purpose and is dying out - or I may just be at a low ebb right now. In any event, I wrote something Tuesday and am writing something today. Tomorrow? Who knows.

158.8 this morning; down from Tuesday, thank goodness. But probably not "weight loss", just more of the same wobbling around the upper 150s that I've been doing for months. Am I on a diet? I'm trying. But I feel like my mind isn't quite all there yet.

Here's yesterday:

• tea with cream
  
• cheddar cheese (4 pieces)
  
• walnuts (probably 1/2 cup-ish)
  
• an Angus beef patty - I'd bet 1/2 lb.
  
• roasted root vegetables - carrots, beets, parsnips?? (frozen stuff from TJs)
  
• a single-serve Haagen-Dasz strawberry
  
• a handful of cashews
  

And the usual swig of Gatorade at bedtime with Magnesium, to try to fend off leg cramps. Which I had one episode of.

Sleep seemed pretty continuous, but not restful. I have a sore shoulder (my right one) from sleeping with Charlie two nights in a row, and while I took aspirin and did some trigger point stuff to it last night, both of which helped, I think it kept me from getting deep sleep. Tireder this morning than I have been all week.

We are getting walks in, though, before dinner. I like it - it lets me get work out of my system as well as providing some means of de-sludging my bloodstream a bit. I don't think I'd quite categorize it as "exercise", but it's better than sitting on the couch.

Tuesday

So I declared (to myself, mostly) that I was starting a diet yesterday. Makes sense, then, that I gained nearly a pound, right? Ugh.  160.4 this morning and not at all happy about it.

So what gives? Here's yesterday:

• tea with cream
  
• the usual supplements
  
• scrambled eggs
  
• bacon
  
• walnuts - probably half a cup
  
• a piece of cheese
  
• about 5 chips with salsa
  
• a chicken breast with queso and tomatoes and peppers
  
• 2 chips with fajita meat and cheese on
  
• a spoonful of black beans and a bit of rice
  

That was it. The last was Mexican restaurant food, if that's not glaringly obvious. Salty, for certain, but I did work to avoid heavy carbs.

The whole point of committing to "a diet" for real was to change my mental state. Did it? I think so; I worked hard at avoiding a lot of chips, and choosing something that seemed lower in carbs. I just need to avoid restaurants altogether, I think. But that's highly unlikely.

So, what should I have done differently last night? Half the chicken, and no appetizer (that's what the chips with fajita meat were)? Maybe. Or a salad instead. I did a lot of grilled chicken caesars back 6 years ago, I think. That might need to be my plan going forward.

Sleep was okay - got to sleep pretty quickly once the lights were out, and woke around 4:20 briefly, then closer to 5 for good. And I feel reasonably rested. Considering it's Daylight Saving week, that's actually amazing.

Friday

Better sleep last night. Certainly should have been; I took major precautions, including eating Mexican for dinner (chips, salsa), taking 2 Mag Citrates, a bath with Epsom Salts, and rubbing both legs with Magnesium Oil. First night with dreaming in quite a while, although they were some very weird dreams.

The Mexican was sort of a mistake in other ways, though. 158.8 this morning. Sigh. I decided on  the way to work that I need to decide whether or not I'm actually dieting, and if I am, to commit to it. And that would mean going to a Mexican restaurant only for Fajita meat and veg. Last night, I had chips and some chicken/cheese/jalapeno things wrapped in bacon. From the taste, the chicken may have been breaded. 

Here's yesterday:

• tea with cream
  
• the usual supplements
  
• scrambled eggs
  
• bacon
  
• walnuts
  
• 4 pieces of Kerrygold Dubliner
  
• chips and salsa
  
• queso
  
• chicken/cheese/jalapeno things wrapped in bacon
  
• a small amount of rice
  
• a small amount of beans
  
• a strawberry Haagen-Dasz
  

That doesn't even look healthy in a list. 

Weekend coming. Fish for dinner tonight, shrimp some time this weekend in some form. Hopefully some natural exercise while doing stuff. Hopefully some time outdoors. Depends on the weather.

Thursday

An edict has been issued: No more good sleep. Somewhere, by someone. I don't know who. But last night, it was properly cool and dark, the dogs were in their kennels, and all should have been well. So I had leg cramps for hours, starting around 1 am, I think. And not easy calf cramps, either; these were shin and outer ankle cramps that twist the foot up into very unnatural positions. They subsided enough for me to get back to sleep periodically, but when I got up at 6, I still had them. 

I take potassium and magnesium. I drink Gatorade with the latter in the evening, to try to keep in electrolyte balance. And last night, before bed, I ate quite a large quantity of salty potato chips. Amongst all that, I SHOULD have been fine. I wasn't.

So I'm tired and achy again this morning. 157.4 - whether it was the salt in the chips, the chips themselves, or the fact that I had breakfast yesterday, I do not know. Not a big gain, maybe just a blip. We shall see. Here's yesterday:

• tea with cream
  
• the usual supplements (you don't suppose adding them in did all that, do you?)
  
• scrambled eggs
  
• sausage patties
  
• walnuts
  
• 3 pieces of Kerrygold Dubliner
  
• about 1/2 pound of grassfed ground beef (in patties)
  
• mushrooms and asparagus sauteed in butter and pan drippings
  
• a handful of cashews
  
• a mouthful of Gatorade
  

Kind of a long list, really. I think we're having something seafood tonight. Not sure what.

It's still raining. Good for the crops. Not great for walking outdoors. But I'm not really in the mood for that right now anyway.

Wednesday

And the lovely week of catch up sleep draws to a chaotic end. Charlie would not be appeased last night; now that Lee is home, he had to sleep with him. So he did. And Anneke wanted up several times, probably due to thunder outside. Which I think I would have slept through, left to my own devices. Oh well.

I'm really sleepy and achy this morning. And it's dark and stormy out, so no bright sunlight to wake me up, either.

Guess it could be a long day.

157.2 this morning, and I'm puffy still. Water leaving slowly, I guess. Here's yesterday:

• tea with cream
  
• walnuts
  
• 3 pieces of Kerrygold Dubliner cheese
  
• hot and sour soup
  
• half an order of Mushu pork, no pancakes
  
• a few fried noodles
  
• a fortune cookie
  

I think that was it. Chinese usually puts me in a stall, so it's nice to see I lost a bit overnight.

Life can now return to normal. Well, home life, that is. Work is being a bit stressier than I would have liked. But there's not much I can do about it, except to try to find something less so. That's always a long slog, though. In the meantime, I'm trying to see the funny side of it all.

Tuesday

Well, at least I didn't gain. A bizarre thing to say after eating hardly anything, but that's my story and I'm sticking to it.

157.4 this morning, a slight loss.  Here's yesterday:

• tea with cream
  
• walnuts (really not many)
  
• 3 pieces of Kerrygold Dubliner cheese
  
• ground beef with salsa, tomatoes, sour cream, and cheese
  
• a mixture of salted peanuts, dark chocolate chips, and dried cranberries
  
• a swallow of Gatorade
  

I always forget that last thing - like I forget when I have hot chocolate at work because there is no decent tea upstairs. I have been taking a nightly magnesium citrate with a swig of Gatorade (for the other electrolytes) to ward off leg cramps. Whether it's been that, or whatever I've been eating (hardly any carbs), the leg cramps have been mostly not a problem.

Back to eating breakfast tomorrow, I think. Lee should be home tonight, and I'm grateful. The putter weekend alone was all right - got lots of small stuff done that I've had on my list - but handling work stress alone has not been at all nice this past week.

Sleep good again last night. I didn't even have audio to fall asleep - apparently passed out on the way to turn it on, because the speaker was in position, but the night's fall-asleep playlist had not even been selected. And I didn't use it in the morning, either. I've needed the sleep, for sure.

As for the weight - there is still water. My fingers are swollen. It will go away. And then we shall see what this period of not really eating much has done. And, I hope, be able to continue it, until my set point (I do tend to believe that exists) moves down a bit.

Monday

Good weekend. Productive, didn't eat much, de-stressing (which helped until I made it into the office, but you can't have everything). Got decent sleep, including last night, which was really good.

So, of course, I gained a pound. Water, I promise - I ache from head to toe this morning. I painted yesterday, which is why.

157.6. Here's yesterday (which is not unlike Saturday, really):

• tea with cream
  
• 3 pieces of Kerrygold Dubliner cheese
  
• 2 handfuls of cashews
  
• a burger patty - something between 1/3 and 1/2 pound, grassfed
  
• zoodles (a whole zucchini) with butter, sour cream, parmesan
  

That was it. I meant to eat breakfast, but got busy. I meant to eat lunch, but got busy and grabbed a snack. I nearly didn't eat dinner, but thought maybe I should, so I cooked quickly and hoovered it up.

Saturday my first food was peanut M&Ms - a mistake, I should add. Add to that some cheese, cashews, and beef-vegetable soup, and you have the whole day. 

The only thing I probably should have got more of was sunlight. I didn't get outside much, and should have, because the weather was super nice. We need some furniture for the back patio.

Friday

This has been, on average, a no-good, very-bad week. Lots of work stress, nobody to blow off steam with except the dogs, and they've been needy, to say the least. 

That said, I lost a pound yesterday. 156.6 this morning. Which tells me that my success in weight loss 6 years ago had mostly to do with the long stretches when Lee was in Arizona. I'm trying to get ahead of the game while he's gone this time, and maybe get a few of the habits re-ingrained.

Fasted yesterday. Nothing except cream until dinner. Here's yesterday:

• tea with cream
  
• meatballs with spaghetti sauce and cheese
  
• a swallow of Gatorade (cramp preventative)
  

That was it. Fortunately (I guess) work was very busy and I didn't have time to wonder if I was hungry or not.

Today won't be much different - not explicitly fasting, but not eating much - a bit of cheese as breakfast, carrots and dip for the day (and walnuts), and who knows what for dinner. Not chips, though.

Thursday

Ah, hubris.

That whole sleep improvement thing? Completely blown away last night. I let the dog out. I knew I would regret it, and I did. He slept on the small of my back when I lay on my right side, and when I rolled over, my face was full of fur. He does not move. He transforms into lead at night. 

Anyway, I gave up trying to sleep around 3:30, I think. Listened to old radio shows (Information Please is often soothing enough to get me right back to sleep, and entertaining enough if it doesn't work) for about an hour by themselves, then another hour with an overlay of play fighting growling, and then I just turned the light on and read until the alarm went off. Got up, fed them, and got the day started. I don't feel too awful, but it's early.

Fasting today - had a goodly dollop of cream in my tea this morning and will try to make it through to dinner. I think a spot of autophagy is in order; clean up all the dreck from that cold and the stress of the past week. 

157.6 this morning; water, I suspect. I had chips and dip for dinner, which is not exactly salt-free, and certainly not nutritious. I wasn't in the mood to cook. Here's the entire day:

• tea with cream
  
• sliced deli chicken
  
• walnuts
  
• 5 pieces of Kerrygold cheese (getting my vitamin K, anyway)
  
• chips and ranch dip
  
• a large handful of cashews
  
• a limoncello
  

That last was just in the fridge from our bottling activities and after hearing that it tastes right from folks who would know, I figured I'd try it again. Not sure I get the point, but it wasn't bad.

Not doing much this week at home. Reading, letting the dogs through the back doors. That's pretty much it. Thinking a lot, about life and work and that sort of stuff, trying to figure out the best way to spend my time here (on earth). Deep, I know, but that's what alone time is for. No solutions, yet.

Wednesday

Yeah, I know. Bad week. In terms of time, anyway. I'm on my own for a week and a half, and on top of that, work has been nothing but aggravation. One of those times when I wish I were a hunter-gatherer more than usual.

That said, I've lost weight this week, I think. 157.2 this morning. Mostly because I haven't had time or willpower to snack. Okay, maybe no energy to snack; I hardly think willpower has been involved.

And I've been getting some good sleep. Ignoring the dog's pleas to sleep on the bed with me, and not dealing with anyone in the room coughing or having to get up in the middle of the night for any reason. As an example, I woke briefly this morning at 4:33, thought I was awake enough to need audio to get back to sleep or pass the time, turned it on, and my next conscious thought was that it wasn't working. An hour later, when it had stopped because it was a 1-hour playlist. Now that's what I call sleep. I'm feeling much more rested than I have in a while, and I have about 7 more nights of it, so I will try to take full advantage.

Eating - breakfast is light, to say the least. No time to cook. Sliced chicken the past 2 days. No real lunch either - an apple and cheese yesterday, just cheese today. And a light dinner, at a point in my day when I'm not all that hungry anymore (no fooling, because I'm hungry now, in the morning). 

I am taking potassium at night. No other supplements just now, because of not being organized enough on my own behalf to get them laid out - all my organization at home goes to getting the dogs fed quickly.

Evenings are spent reading in a room with just one light on, for the most part - iPad initially, but I try to put it down when it gets dark outside, and shift to paper. No TV. And I've been running the AC at night as well - the temp is set at 65, and it's quite cool.

Could I do this if I were not alone? Maybe the eating. Definitely not the quiet evenings. Don't know about the temperature. But the combination is working for me so far, and I'll take it as long as I can.